Post image for The Clermont Twins Are Back With Terry Richardson

I’m gonna go ahead and steal @Robonino123’s theory and say that the rise in incest themed shoots and pornos is due to the popularity of Game of Thrones. You hear that Cersei and Jaime Lanister, the Clermont Twins are all on you… and Terry Richardson, because that’s how you book shoots with him, right? You gotta get all up on him, and really, if you’re willing to tweak your twin sister’s nipple it’s not much of a leap to imagine you’d be willing to tweak Uncle Bad Touch’s peen while you’re at it.

Whoa, Jared Leto must have a lot of contact with Terry Richardson’s penis if that’s what it takes to be photographed by him.

It’s weird that twincest is more socially acceptable that regular sibling incest. I think it’s because for some reason it’s viewed as masturbation. As if twins are really one person in two bodies as opposed to two individuals who just happen to look a like. Either way, it’s fucked up and/or kind of hot. I can’t quite figure out where I stand on this issue. Damn you, Cersei and Jaime. Damn you and you’re beautiful golden… everything.

Enjoy the Clermont Twins, because they certainly enjoy each other!

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Post image for Throw Back Thursday Nudity Edition: Claudia Schiffer (1993)

I wish Claudia Schiffer had the same dedication to nudity as Kate Moss, but unfortunately Claudia has spent most of her career covered up. Oh, there are lots of spectacular cleavage pics and there’s a lot of almost nude or implied nudity, but for the most part Claudia’s assets have been covered up… at least compared to her fellow models.

There are, however, a few exceptions. Back in 1993 Claudia was hanging out topless on some dude’s yacht and the pictures where shopped around to various publications before ending up in Penthouse Magazine. It’s easy to see why Claudia Schiffer dominated the ’90s. She was the next Bridgette Bardot only better.

She was often seen aside Cindy Crawford, because the dark-eyed brunette offered a great contrast to the blue-eyed blonde. I’m still sad the two never did a nude photoshoot together or God forbid a faux-lesbian scene in a movie. I know they both tried to move from modelling to acting with low to moderate success. I bet the pervs would have flocked to the movie theaters for a scene featuring Claudia AND Cindy. I know my dreams often featured both of them at the same time.

Before Claudia’s topless yacht photos saw the light of day, she appeared in this wet t-shirt photoshoot video:

I don’t know who or what it was for, but apparently it predates the yacht pictures and if I were to guess this little video montage is one of the reasons why she became so goddamn popular. It reminds me of Kate Upton’s cat daddy video with Terry Richardson and wet t-shirt outtakes from GQ.

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Post image for Fap Along With Harlot: Car Sex Done Right!

You know what bugs me out more than anything else in the world? Car trouble. I hate getting stranded places because my vehicle has decided that it can’t run anymore or some massive pothole decided to creep up on my ride and give me a flat.

The best thing about driving a brand new (as of last March) smart car is that I never have to deal with any of those things anymore…the worst thing about driving a smart is that you can’t bang inside it really, unless you’re just diddling with fingers.

My girlfriend has been running into a few snags with her car, so we spent most of last Saturday in a car dealership wheeling and dealing to try and walk away with the best option.

It was time well spent because now she’s driving a sexy ass Prius with plenty of room in the back for lesbian encounters, especially if we fold the seats down…that got me thinking about doing some porno research on creative positions to fuck in the car.

Here, for your viewing pleasure, is the result of my extensive research. A Fap Along With Harlot list of my Top 5 Car Fucking Clips!

Sex with a cab driver is not something that I generally fantasize about, but the hottie in this European clip from Public Pickups has some pretty juicy lips. When you mix up her blowjobs with the fact that she’s loud as fuck when she’s getting banged from behind, you’ve got a recipe for orgasms that just won’t quit.

A sneaky masturbation break turns into an all out pussy assault that includes on the hood finger banging and plenty of penetration where it counts.

Latian sexpot Noemilk loves getting freaky in the back seat while her camera crew is driving around. Her big butt looks right at home when she’s straddling some dick and going in for a long, hard ride.

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Post image for Delilah Parillo Could Shave Off My Magic Head Of Hair Anyday

This is the first time I’ve come across model Delilah Parillo and I’ve gotta say I’m enamored with the pretty waif. Putting aside the fact that it looks like a strong breeze could knock her over… her tits, lips, and eyes have me entranced. At any given time, I’m not sure which of the three I’d rather be ogling, but then I remember I have all the time in the world and I can ogle each and every part of her body as much as I want.

As I’ve mentioned several times, I don’t believe in God or heaven, but if I did this is what it would look like:

Purienne-Vogue-Spain-13

Heaven.

I can see how promising people a heaven filled with a harem of beautiful virgins would be enticing when inviting people to go all religious, but then I remember that we’ve got the Internet and sites like Pornhub where I can ogle all the women I want without having to lead a good life and hopefully go to heaven afterwards. It’s all here right now!

Speaking of virgins, watch this dude loose his to a sexy MILF and a teen hottie:

Neither of them look like Delilah Parillo, but that’s what your imagination is for. Besides, maybe cute brunette Aidra Fox is more your speed. Personally, I like both of them… together.

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Post image for Pornstar Kayla-Jane Danger Builds Darth Vader Out Of Sex Toys

The Star Wars franchise is getting a lot of sexual attention these days, I wonder if Disney is going to threaten to sue Kayla-Jane Danger for using Darth Vader’s likeness without permission?! I hear GQ and Amy Schumer got in trouble over their sexy Star Wars photoshoot.

I bet Disney isn’t too happy with porn being associated with their brand, but come on, they’re such an easy target. There should be a porn parody of all their movies as far as I’m concerned. Yes, even Pinocchio. I mean, especially Pinocchio. Oh, the things he could do with that wooden nose that just keeps on growing and growing…

Enough about wood, though, this is about Darth Vibrader (best name ever) and the $3,000 worth of sex toys it took to build him: “200 vibrators, 10 paddles, a whip, two rows of anal beads, a rubber fist” and a pair of hooker boots. Are you impressed? I’m impressed.

I wish I owned that many sex toys. Actually, I wish I owned a 7-foot tall Darth Vader statue made out of that many sex toys. According to Kayla-Jane Danger you could put him to many uses:

“You could rub yourself on the light saber, or use the big strap-on in front,” she said. “There are five bullet vibrators in his hands — and those have more power than a Hitachi wand.”

Yup, I’m all hot and bothered just thinking about it. I would join the dark side in a minute for all that action. Speaking of dark side, though, I’m ashamed to admit that for most of my childhood and well into my teens I thought Darth Vader’s name was Dark Vader. *Shakes head in shame.*

Check out the video:

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The Mystery Of Portland’s Power Line Sex Toys

July 28, 2015
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Like most people who grew up in an urban neighborhood, the hood fucked with me. I’m paranoid about locking the door when I leave the house, the sound of police helicopters lulls me to sleep at night, and I’m especially cautious of street scammers. However with all these street smarts and life experiences I never […]

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Julia Lescova Is A Goddamn Miracle By Antoine Verglas

July 27, 2015
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My God, some women make me want to believe in the dude with the big white beard and I’m not talking about Santa. If I weren’t a hardcore disbeliever and an all around cynical atheist, I could tell you how a body as perfect as Julia Lescova’s was proof of God’s existence. There’s no way […]

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CIA Sex Doll Switcheroo

July 27, 2015
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Are you Peepz into that show The Americans? I’m obsessed with it, and I’ve been clinging to the edge of my seat ever since last season ended. I kind of wish that they could just make some TV shows all year round…like a soap opera or something. Daily doses of Keri Russell in her sexiest […]

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Rihanna Walking Around Town In Pajamas & A Lacey Bra Top

July 26, 2015
Thumbnail image for Rihanna Walking Around Town In Pajamas & A Lacey Bra Top

Rihanna is the only person on the face of the earth who could walk around in public wearing a pink pajama ensemble with a lace bra and fluffy slippers without people going around calling her a nut job. Lady has swagger. RiRi’s confidence levels must be sky high for her to pull off this look. […]

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Fap Along With Harlot: Black-on-Black Fuck Sessions

July 25, 2015
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Last week’s Fap Along post inspired frequent Peeperz reader (and one of my long time Internet friends) to request his very own list. We always joke that his dick is an Expert Level cock because it’s so huge, and not many people are able to handle what he’s got in his pants…I know I certainly […]

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