Bucky is so nice, even when he’s on vacation he takes time out of his busy schedule – donkey punching 20 dollar crack whores and sticking his penis into vagina trees – to send me emails detailing his latest perverse desires. Usually, I just ignore his emails, because I don’t need to see dick pics first thing in the morning, but this time around it was actually worth a peek.
Fleshlight is coming out with a new gadget soon that will allow you to attach your Fleshlight to your iPad and virtually fuck anything your dirty mind can think of. Imagine the possibilities! Just don’t set your picture folder on shuffle, because you don’t want to cum while a picture of your grandma stuffing down a turkey leg pops up on your iPad screen.
This just goes to show that all technology was basically invented to make it easier for us to get off. I can’t remember, but did the Internet ever serve a purpose besides porn?
I don’t have an iPad (I accept gift, yo) and I don’t have a dick, so this particular invention doesn’t exactly fill me with glee, but I can just imagine all the tech geeks and porn fans that are jizzing in their pants just at the thought. Personally, I’d be afraid to break the damn iPad… What can I say, I REALLY get into it when I’m masturbating.
What about you guys? Who’s gonna line up to buy one of these babies and take it for a spin? Or more importantly, once you bring this baby home, what or who are you gonna virtually fuck? That’s what I really want to now, the more bizarre the answer the better.
Via gizmodo.com
Karen Mulder? Who is she? Not the little sister of a paranormal FBI agent that’s for sure. Who cares, right? She’s a model and her tits are bare, that’s about all that matters.
Wait, wait, wait, I Googled her. So apparently, this chick was super famous in the 90′s. She was one of those supermodels that wouldn’t get out of bed for less than 10,000 dollars a day back in the day. She’s in her early forties now and her body is still pretty damn amazing, which is no surprise since all models are in the business of taking supreme care of their bodies often times to their own emotional detriment.
Then again, I’d look fucking amazing too if I had 10,000 dollars a day to spend on spa treatments and the like. My life would basically be one long massage, interrupted by occasional trips to the bathroom, food, and sex. Not necessarily in that order.
For realz though, this chick is troubles. She does not have a happy past and she was also arrested back in 1999 for threatening her plastic surgeon. Why? I have no idea, but I’m damn curious. Maybe a second look at her tits will give me a clue.
Click on images below for larger versions:
Via thenipslip.com
Welcome to Q & A With Camille Crimson! Every day I deal with the subversive yet natural subject that we all love: sex. I’m a full time porn model and webmaster and I spend my days doing gorgeous, entertaining, and arousing, photo and video shoots for my various sites. Here on Peeperz I have this new feature where you can ask me…anything! Feel free to ask me sex advice, tips and techniques, and your questions about porn.
Hello Camille!
I wanted to ask your advice about something if you don’t mind. I haven’t slept with my new boyfriend yet. He told me, or rather wanted to warn me, that he is extremely well endowed. He wasn’t bragging, he just didn’t want me to freak out. Apparently other women in the past have made him feel extremely self conscious.
I told him regardless of what he’s packing, we’d work it out together and that I know he’ll go slow and be gentle. Not having a whole lot of experience in this area myself, is there any advice you can give me that will make it more pleasurable, beyond making sure I’m extremely turned on and that I’ve stocked up on lube?! He’s concerned about hurting me, so now I’m a little concerned myself. I don’t know exactly how big we’re talking…
-Cautiously Optimistic
[click to continue…]
Attention whore Basketball legend, Dennis Rodman, is currently scouting for ladies to play in a topless basketball league. He’s assigned himself head coach of the team he’s launching for HeadQuarter’s Gentlemen’s Club in New York City. Rodman got the ingenious booby jiggling idea when he heard that another strip joint in town, Rick’s Cabaret had started a team with former Atlanta Hawk, Spud Webb, when the NBA lock out was still on. Rodman’s even challenged Webb’s team to a game.
Now, I don’t claim to be a chick that’s into sports or anything…but this sounds like a pretty awesome idea.
You’ve got the draw of the two famous basketball players coaching and then the cherry on top is that you’re actually watching sexy ladies run all over the place with their tops off. I mean, I’m sure a few of them would end up with black eyes from getting tit smacked in the face but it’s all for the good of mankind.
Rodman was quoted in the New York Post as saying, “I don’t know too many men that don’t like a good-looking woman running up and down around the court…You don’t have to have too much experience, just know how to throw the ball into the hole.” The uniforms for the girls will be shorts and skimpy t-shirts or tank tops. They’ll all come out clothed and do a strip tease taking off their shirts before the game actually starts.
A spokesmen for Rick’s Cabaret totally rained on Rodman’s parade though when he admitted that Rick’s no longer had a basketball team and the Rick’s Basketball Association had been disbanded,”We stepped aside when the NBA returned…We wish Dennis well in coaching another team, but if the RBA was still in existence, we would have made Dennis our commissioner.”
A day late and a dollar short, Mr. Rodman.
I say you stick with the team though and make Topless Basketball happen. I really think that people would pay to see this. Just build a basketball court onto the strip club and have midweek topless games with the ladies.
I bet you that men would pay to hang out and play basketball the other six days of the week. Have some of the girls walk around in bikinis handing out fresh towels and selling bottled water with sexy ladies in bikinis handing them their towels when they get all sweaty.
Boobies and Balls everyone wins.
Via NyPost.com
Once you go black you never go back. Oh boy, I feel racist just writing that. Hey, even if it’s positive it still feels wrong to say, especially since I’m white as a lily. Wait? Was that racist too? Whatever, you guys don’t care. What you care about is looking at a dirty Miley Cyrus lick big black dick… even if it is just in the form of a cake; a cake made for her boyfriends birthday party by the way.
In case you guys didn’t know, licking dick cake is the first step to starring in your very own sex tape. So watch out Miley Cyrus fans, you’ll soon be watching her gag on some random dudes schlong before long.
And you know what, sex tapes are a gateway to amateur porn, and you know what, amateur porn is a gateway to hardcore porn. I’m no Miley Cyrus fan, of her music or of her face, but I would pay to see her shallow some chicks pee. Now, that would rock.
I still don’t understand why people like her, I can’t discern anything remotely appealing about her. Seriously, why are people like her famous? Ahhh, maybe because idiots like me keep writing about her. Damn, I’m part of the problem. I’ve betrayed my gender. I’m on some feminist shit list for sure. Whatever, at least I can sleep at night, because I’m nothing like Miley Cyrus. Although, come to think of it she is filthy rich. Ok, now I’m sad. Don’t mind me I’m just gonna go rub one out an contemplate suicide while I cry myself to sleep.
Click on images below for larger versions:
Via thenipslip.com
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