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Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the award-winning porn site for women & couples. With over 18 years’ experience under her belt, writing about and for the adult entertainment industry, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

I’m sure you’ve heard it said derisively, or perhaps seen it posted with oodles of snark in the comments section below an online news article, or even seen it in the context of an article criticizing another article for its lack of gravitas: “Must have been a slow news day.”

As someone who makes a substantial part of her living writing about some of the least weighty and most frivolous subjects available, I’m always hesitant to be too critical of others for doing the same, even if the writer in question is employed by a serious mainstream news organization – or as a certain current head of state prefers to call them, “fake news” organizations.

It’s also true writers don’t always delve into the trivial for lack of anything else to write about that day; sometimes they do it for far more noble and time-honored reasons – like the opportunity to make a series of groan-inducing puns.

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Post image for Sex News: GOT Sex Education, Animated Porn, & Vibe Mishap

Sophie Turner learned something from Game of Thrones during her formative years.

The actress, who first auditioned for the show at age 12 and has grown up on the series as Sansa Stark, told the U.K.’s Sunday Times that the massive HBO hit was her “sex education.”

“I’d be doing a read-through and we’d be talking about very graphic stuff,” she said in the new interview. “The first time I ever found out about oral sex was from reading the script. I was like … ‘Wow! People do that? That’s fascinating!’ … I guess that was my sex education. Being on Game of Thrones.”

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The first thing I thought when I heard the new Doctor was called Jodie Whittaker was: “Is she related to Forest Whitaker?” The second thing I thought was: “Oh, she has boobies.” I’m kidding, the first thing I thought was: “Did the first female Doctor have to be thin and blonde?” Which was closely followed by: “Peter Capaldi only got two seasons? That’s not fair. Nope, wait, it’s been three.”

To be honest, I haven’t seen the latest season of Doctor Who yet. Peter Capaldi, although a great actor, didn’t have a great first season as the Doctor. Personally, I blame that on some iffy writing and the fact that he was never paired up with a great companion. The whole Clara thing was not a good match. I actually kind of hate Clara.

Whatever, it’s hard to follow up a team like the Ponds.

That said, I was just starting to really dig Capaldi. I’m sad to see him go, but I am excited to see this new direction Doctor Who is going in. Let’s hope Jodie Whittaker brings more to the table than a nice pair of tits. I don’t know her as an actress, but by all accounts her work is stellar. She was in the critically acclaimed Broadchurch and Attack the Block, so we can only hope she kills it as the 13th Doctor.

I kind of hope the Doctor continues to be an old embittered misanthrope like Capaldi’s Doctor only in pretty packaging. I would dig that vibe, so far I’ve got to say the teaser has me intrigued, but I hope they give her a slightly better costume for the show than a black hoodie. Yawn.

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Post image for Throw Back Thursday Nudity Edition: Denise Richards (2004)

I want Denise Richards to write a tell-all book about her life with Charlie Sheen. I was a fan of Spin City back in the day when Charlie Sheen replaced Michael J. Fox as the lead of the show. Things were going so well for The Charles in the early aughts. At least it appeared that way in the media. Spin City was great and Two and a Half Men definitely had its moments.

Not only was his career pretty stellar in the early 2000s, but Charlie Sheen was married to Denise Richards. Clearly, the best thing to ever happen to him. BUT THEN HE WENT AND RUINED IT.

I read in an interview that Denise decided to pose for Playboy shortly after the birth of her daughter because she wanted people to know that when you’re a mother you’re still a sexual person. That stuff doesn’t just go away. Also, it appears her marriage to Sheen had started to hit a rough patch in 2004. She didn’t feel sexy and felt like she had something to prove.

Awwwww, so clearly bonehead Sheen cheated on her while she was pregnant, right? That’s what I got from that piece of information. What a douche!

Denise is pretty much the nicest person ever, though. After they broke up, Charlie had kids with Brooke Mueller and Denise ended up keeping those kids for a while because Charlie and Brooke were having a hard time with drugs. I don’t know many women who would happily take care of their ex’s new kids.

Even today, she’s helping Sheen rehabilitated his image with fun “we’re still a family” Instagram pictures. Sigh. You deserve better Denise Richards. You deserve better.

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A PENIS ON EVERY PAGE.

“We were a magazine ‘nobody ever bought,’ but everybody read,” says Ira Ritter, an ad exec for, and later the owner of, Playgirl. That readership included women and men. It’s no shocker that a magazine full of naked dudes attracted the secret patronage of gay men, especially in an era when it was risky to be out.

For women and gay men both, Playgirl’s true legacy is the way it normalized sexually objectifying men. Before People‘s panting, annual “Sexiest Man Alive” issue; before the Adonis-heavy photography of Bruce Weber; before Mark Wahlberg posed in Calvin Klein underwear; and before the boom in mainstream “porn for women,” Playgirl paved the way in showing off men’s bodies for the erotic delight of its readers.

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Selena Gomez Releases Fetish Video & It’s All Lips All The Time!

July 18, 2017
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Selena Gomez recently released a video for her new single, Fetish – and it’s all lips all the time! No, not those lips. The other lips, the mouth lips. (Although, now I’m wondering what her labia look like. I peg her as having an innie.) No, seriously, the video is a three-minute close-up of the […]

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Top 10: Reasons Why Kissa Sins Is Hotter As A Brunette!

July 18, 2017
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To be fair, Kissa Sins looks hot no matter what color her hair is, but if I’m going to randomly make my opinion known I’ve gotta say, I really love the brown hair. Now, if only I could somehow make her take more candid pictures and less I’m-doing-an-extreme-angle-with-pouty-lips-pose I could die happy. Sure, she probably doesn’t […]

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Sex News: Male Sex Toys, Cam Girls, & Do Pornstars Get Jealous?

July 17, 2017
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Male Sex Toys Get Creative With Non-Anatomical Designs (XBiz) “When the concept of a masturbator first entered the market, anatomically accurate-ish orifices dominated store inventories, as though consumers were solely seeking strokers made to look like the human partners they lacked,” Hodder says. “But of course, as we know now with the recent surge of […]

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Monday Morning Jerk Before Work: Have You Met Sami Parker?

July 17, 2017
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Lil’ Sami Parker sucks. She’s an up and cumming porn starlet who is terribly good at sucking dick (see what I did there). Hailing from the grand state of Arizona, there’s nothing this thrill seeker won’t do. According to her Digital Playground bio, Sami loves rollercoasters, underground parties and walking her dog in the woods […]

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Last Week On Insta: Olive Glass, Riley Reid, & Sasha Grey +++

July 16, 2017
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I’m so pissed. I just bought a new laptop, because my old one was slowing dying and it turns out I pretty much bought a piece of crap. IT’S  SOOOO SLOW and the trackpad is NOT responsive at all. I seriously have to scroll up to three times to get things moving. Oh and the […]

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