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Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the award-winning porn site for women & couples. With over 16 years’ experience under her belt, writing about and for the adult entertainment industry, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

I wish I could say that this was something I did when I was much younger. When I was more eager to please and didn’t know how to pleasure myself better. Alas it is as real as it was the first time I had sex as it is now. I’m talking about the money shot. That ‘look of pleasure’ the kind you see on women in porn.The slightly open-mouth, eyes shut look of being lost in pleasure. Where you’re hurting a little bit because he is so big, but the pain is the good kind because he is also so damn good. So you’re lost in the pleasure-pain. And of course you’re just about to cum. You’re almost there, just there, right there!

I call it the money shot. And we all have it. Ok, I am putting words in your mouth. Maybe you don’t have it. I do. I still do – though not as often as before. I get that look when sometimes it’s taking too long and I am done, or when I know I’m not going to cum and it’s ok, but I want him to feel like he’s still awesome. Basically when I am looking to please.

In my younger years, I put it on because I thought it was my job to make the man feel like he’s the best lover in the world. The only one who could make me feel this way. I got something out of it as well – him thinking I’m really good in bed, cuz somehow making him feel great in bed made him think that I was good in bed too. Weird how that works out.

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Post image for Bella Hadid’s Boobies In GQ For Our The World’s Happiness

My fondest wish in life is for the Hadid sisters to hook up with the Jenner sisters. Gigi Hadid and Kendall Jenner would obviously make an awesome couple while Bella Hadid and Kylie Jenner would be perfect for each other. Or maybe the opposite would be better. I imagine Kylie Jenner could teach Gigi Hadid a thing or two and Bella could definitely take the dominant role in her relationship with Kendall Jenner.

Actually, while we’re at it, why not have all of them get it on. The sisters could just switch when ever they felt like it. I think that’s a splendid idea. Now, all I have to do is get the girls on board. They’re already friends. They hang out all the time, getting drunk, and partying together… it’s not exactly a stretch of the imagination to think that late one night when they’ve all had a drink or two that something could happen.

It all starts with a nice little cuddle, a tickle, a giggle, an ass pressed into someone’s pussy, a little grinding action, a hand wandering down into someone’s pajama bottoms, a head turned and a tongue slipped into someone’s mouth. Yup, sounds good to me. In fact, I’m pretty sure this is destiny and who are we to fight destiny.

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Post image for Throw Back Thursday Nudity Edition: Candice Swanepoel (2009)

Candice Swanepoel is boring, so, so, boring, but holy shit does she ever have a banging body. I have no idea who took this shoot or for what publication, but I do know it was from six years ago. Six years and Candice is still getting nude for fashion porn, it’s a been a great career if you think about it.

I say she’s boring, but who am I to judge. The only thing exciting happening in my life right now is trying to save money to buy a Vitamix, because I’m under the impression that a super expensive blender will make my life better. It probably won’t, but I’ll be able to make killer hummus.

As for Candice, I bet she can afford a Vitamix. It’s because of those tits of hers. If I had tits like that, I could probably afford to buy a Vitamix too. It’s okay, though, I’ll just add it to the list of things I want but can’t afford: Macbook, iPhone, printer, camera, paddle board, car rack, rice steamer, Eroscillator, food processor, socks… the list is getting long, but pretty soon I’ll be able to afford some socks.

Maybe I should take a cue from Candice and start showing my boobies off in exchange for money. Ya, that’ll work. You guys have seen my boobies, now buy me a Vitamix. I’m way more interesting than Candice.

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Post image for I’d Like to Fuck a Bionic Cock

I can’t imagine how much it would suck to live without genitals. Granted, my need to expose my naughty bits has basically been a part time job over the past 10 years, but even if I wasn’t an exhibitionist pervert, it really must be rough.

A man from Scotland, named Mohammed Abad, hasn’t been able to use his dick since he was six because of a tragic accident. I don’t want to get into the details of the accident because I feel like most of my male readers have been clenching their cocks protectively since I said the word, “accident,” so let’s just say that it was terrible. Really…really…terrible.

As a 43-year-old man though, medical science has found an answer to his predicament in the form of a new apparatus. Two tubes are covered in the skin that doctor’s have been grafting from this lucky stud’s arms for the past three years. His brand new baby maker is eight inches long (not too shabby…I wonder if he had any input on the length and girth) and the best part is that, it’s bionic!

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Masturbation Roll

by RICK RODAY on September 2, 2015

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Peeperz presents to you the best sites on the entire internet:

Riley Reid Finally Does Anal in Tushy.com’s “Being Riley” – Sex.com

Rita Ora’s Star Pasties of the Day – DrunkenStepfather

Selena Gomez Shows Her Nip Pasties At The VMAs – CelebJihad

Charlotte McKinney Topless Handbra Seduction – CelebSpank

Tove Lo Flashes Her Boobs on Stage – TaxiDriverMovie

Miley Cyrus did NOT Disappoint at the MTV Video Music Awards! – The Nip Slip

Gifs Of The Week #43 – Le Tag Parfait

Tiara Thomas Shoots A Cheesy B-Movie For ‘Mary Jane’ – Smoking Section

Alice Sey getting Wet in a White Top! – BoobieBlog

Monica Sims – Sublime – PrettyHot&Sexy

Sexy Celeb Babes – Paparazzigr.tv

Follow Peeperz on Twitter! – We rock the tweets, join the party

 

Image: Lynna Nilsson in Pulse: Part Two by Brazzers

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Naked News: Peyton Priestly is “Spicy as Fuck”

September 2, 2015
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Naked News breaks down the newest happenings in food with Peyton Priestly. While you might not think of cereal and beer as a great combo, Wheaties has partnered with a local Minneapolis brewery. While the beer isn’t made from Wheaties, it is brewed with malted wheat. Although you can only snag Wheaties beer in Minnesota, […]

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Mexican Man Claims 19 Inch Penis Is A Disability

September 1, 2015
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Penis envy is a real problem for a lot of men. Though there isn’t much a man can do about the size of his dick, it doesn’t stop the internet from trying to sell a wide range of male enhancement products. Regardless, almost everyone at one point in their life has wondered what it would […]

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Titty Tuesday: Heather Depriest Has Amazing Fashion Porn Tits

September 1, 2015
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Goddamn, girl has amazing boobies. For realz. Heather Depriest or Deprettiest as I like to call her is some sort of Guess model, which means she’s blonde and has big knockers. It’s true, though, she is blonde and she does have big knockers. It’s almost cliche as far as Guess is concerned, but that doesn’t […]

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Chelsea Handler Covers Her Pussy With An Apple

September 1, 2015
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Chelsea Handler is a weird bird. I like her bra, but I have no idea what’s happening with her hair. I’m assuming that’s the point. I’ve been known to have a bad hair day myself. Often times I encourage them, the bad hair days I mean. It’s from all the no washing and lying on […]

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MrSkin: Become Breast Friends With Emily Ratajowski

August 31, 2015
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Out this week in theaters is Emily Ratajowski in We Are Your Friends. She doesn’t get nude here but she does get fully friendly showing off her natural knockers in the Robin Thicke Blurred Lines music video. Nude on Showtime, Masters of Sex served up a trio of top-notch ta tas from Lizzy Caplan, Helene […]

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