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When the first popshot was captured in mid-flight, in Michelangelo’s Le Corde Calde of 1560, it was only a matter of time before such things could be seen bursting forth from video screens in glorious 3D.
Porn, after all, is the science of getting as close as one can to something one can’t currently have.
And 3D might be one of the crusty hooks porn hangs its future on. 3D porn can’t be pirated. Well, it can’t be pirated yet.
Utilizing pro-sumer cameras that aren’t prohibitively expensive to rent, a few 3D porns have been released, each also available in a standard 2d version with a couple of pairs of red/blue glasses in the box.
Aside from the plot, direction, and acting, New Sensations’ “Octopussy 3D” does almost everything right; while we don’t get squirted in the face, director J. Lalls has at least cast women whom we want in as many dimensions as we can get them, the brick houses Phoenix Marie, Audrey Bitoni, and the near-awe-inspiring Aletta Ocean.
“Octopussy 3D” is not the first or best 3D porn; last year’s simple but effective “Cummin’ at You 3D,” featuring Tommy Gunn and Sindee Jennings, was spare, couples’-friendly, and packed with all the gimmicks you’d expect from porn in 3D. At one point even the lens got wet.
“Octopussy 3D,” on the other hand, is disappointing for all the stuff it doesn’t do, especially considering the budget for talent. But that almost doesn’t matter: the busty, hippy trio of Marie, Bitoni, and (quiver) Ocean threaten to break the fourth wall in a way that their birdlike porn counterparts couldn’t hope to, and are perfect for the 3D treatment.
Having met these three in person, I can tell you that I become awkwardly aware of dimensions manifesting themselves from significant parts of my person. That is why I think “Octopussy 3D” is a good start.
And at least it’s not “Octomom 3D.”
