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Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the award-winning porn site for women & couples. With over 18 years’ experience under her belt, writing about and for the adult entertainment industry, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

To be honest, most of the hot, fleeting trends which come along in the world of adult entertainment don’t interest me very much as a porn viewer. My tastes and kinks were set in erotic stone long ago, and I’m more inclined to watch old favorites again than explore territory which is truly new to me.

Still, every so often along comes a trend which piques my curiosity, even if it doesn’t touch on a specific sexual fantasy or desire of mine.

I’m experiencing such curiosity right now, as I read about “bespoke porn,” an area examined in recent podcasts from journalist/documentary filmmaker Jon Ronson.

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The idea that porn stars are an uneducated lot is one of the most pervasive stereotypes that people in the porn industry still have to face today. I mean, the words “blonde bimbo” roll off the tongue for a reason and not just because they both start with the letter “b.”

A lot of people have misguided views of the sex industry and one of those views is that you have to be an idiot to be a porn star, because who would want to have sex on camera for money if they could earn their living as a CPA? And the only reason there aren’t more CPAs is that people are bad at math, or… at least, that’s what all the misguided Peepz thinks. So, obviously, if you’re doing porn you’re bad at math, which makes you an idiot. (Those last few sentences made all the sense.)

Clearly, that’s a load of crap. You’d be surprised to find out how many porn stars are certified public accountants. (Hi, Veruca James!) It seems like accounting leads to porn. Also, psychology. Lots of psychology grads. (Hi, Alison Rey!) Oh and let’s not forget the Fine Arts grads. (Hi, Amarna Miller and Mickey Mod!) My favourite, though is Missy Martinez, because she’s certified to perform autopsies and I find that really interesting.

Pornstars in order of appearance: Missy Martinez, Rizzo Ford, Harley Jade, Sophia Grace, Alison Rey, Stevie Foxx, Rain DeGrey, Amarna Miller, Riley Reyes, Cindy Starfall, April O’Neil, Ela Darling, Aubrey Snow, Amber Ivy, Brian Street Team, Trinity St. Clair, Vyxen Steel, Mickey Mod, Claire Robbins, Aiden Starr, Nikki Next, Dava Foxx, Veruca James, Mick Blue, Leya Falcon, Kenzie Taylor, August Ames, Dixie Comet, Allie Haze, Anikka Albrite, Star Nine, Lauren Phillips, Kassondra Raine, Jade Nile, Daisy Layne, and Aaron Wilcoxxx. 

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Post image for Manon Le Botlan’s Tits & I Are In A Serious Relationship!

Have you Peepz ever heard of The Undress? It was popular on Kickstarter a few years ago. Basically, it’s a large dress that you slip over your sports/swim gear and it has these weird side openings that you can use to pull your bottoms on and off without flashing the whole world.

Basically, it’s the invention that is going to put all the beach paparazzi out of business. All the weirdos with a camera hiding in the bushes waiting for the hotties to change out of their bikinis will need to find new careers, or, at least, parlay their skills into legit jobs like porn.

I’m definitely not suggesting that beach paps should start peeping into people’s windows. It might look like these pics of Manon Le Boltan where taken by a disgruntled paparazzi who said “Fuck the beach and The Undress, I’m moving on to peeping through windows,” but I can assure you that they were taken by a legit photographer. Probably. Most likely. I hope.

On one hand, I’m thinking let’s burn all The Undresses, because accidental nudity is what I live for. But on the other hand, I’m thinking I should probably buy one. No kidding, I was just at the beach and I pulled my usual move, which is flash everyone while sort of hiding under a towel. I swear, if I was famous my boobs would be all over the internet.

Oh wait, I’m not famous and my boobs are already all over the internet.

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Post image for Sex News: Kissing Angles, Nipples Are Not Free, & Sex Doll Art

New research has revealed what many of us already knew: that men like to dominate kissing, much the same as they like to dominate everything else.

A team of researchers from the universities of Dhaka, Bath, and Bath Spa set out to conduct one of the first large-scale studies into kissing in a non-Western context. The study, published in Scientific Reports, found that there is a right way to kiss: as in, literally most people tend to turn their heads to the right hand side while making out.

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Post image for Top 10: GIFs Of Women Sucking On Fingers Because It’s Hot AF!

Women sucking on fingers, their own or other people’s, is super fucking hot! A psych grad should really try to investigate why finger sucking is such a turn on. I’m sure it would make for an interesting thesis. You know, something or other about the id and the ego. Throw an oral fixation in there and we’re all set.

I’ve read that this whole finger sucking thing is meant to foreshadow downstairs business, but that seems too obvious of an explanation for me. I need something deeper… with more meaning… with more flavor. Yup, flavor. If a lady sucks on a finger after it’s been inside of her, you know, to get a little taste, we’re talking serious business here. I’m going to jizz in my pants just thinking about it kind of serious business.

Consider this, there’s also the fact that it just fucking feels good. The first time I sucked on a dude’s finger it’s because he was tracing my lips with the tip of his index. Sucking on it just seemed like the thing to do at the time. I was not wrong. Hello, boner city!

10.

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Monday Morning Jerk Before Work: Have You Met Olive Glass?

August 14, 2017
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The first time I laid eyes on Olive Glass she was gracing the cover of Penthouse Magazine. One look at the dark-haired vixen and I knew it was love. She has the looks to be a major player in the porn industry, but unfortunately, her career has never quite taken off. I blame it on […]

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Last Week On Insta: Kato Punk, Rihanna, & More +++

August 13, 2017
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Every. Last. Single. Body. Part. Of. The. Female. Body. Is. Incredible. $25 and up gets you a full-res download of this set on Patreon (click the link in bio 👆) or just hang on for a few more days to see it on Stylerotica.com this Saturday. Shot by @_d_punk in Vegas. This is my first […]

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Boobs Are Nice But They Also Suck Sometimes

August 12, 2017
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My boobs are big, but they aren’t huge. When I was trying to film actual porno movies (not just maintain my amateur porno pseudo-empire) I was actually told that they weren’t big enough to shoot BBW porno. Whatevs. They work for me…except that boob sweat is real and one of the most terrible parts of […]

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Fap Along with Harlot: How Does Your Garden Grow?

August 12, 2017
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My kitchen is currently overflowing with zucchini. It happens to be my favorite vegetable to eat, but depending on the size of the baseball bats my friends, family and neighbors donate to me, I’ll also fuck them. There’s no shame in fucking veggies. I’d stay away from bananas because they squish, but that’s just a […]

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Why Couldn’t Kermit’s Voice Have Been Fired Over A Sex Scandal?

August 11, 2017
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Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the award-winning porn site for women & couples. With over 18 years’ experience under her belt, writing about and for the adult entertainment industry, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced […]

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