Hand jobs are hard, guys. So hard, I tell you. And I’m not just saying that to make a sexy pun. As a young lass, hand jobs kind of scared me. I didn’t really understand how to do them. I mean, of course I understood the concept, but the finer details like adequate pressure and sufficient lubricant totally escaped me. The thought of putting my moist hand on someone’s delicate peen and rubbing back and forth was truly horrific.
There’s nothing pleasurable about skin pulling on skin… That’s bad friction. Bad, I say. I know some girls would spit in their hands to help the process along, but spit grosses me out. Always has. It wasn’t until I was a more experienced sex fiend that I discovered the existence of lube and all the wonderful ways in which it can be used. That shit would have come in handy back in high school when the only place you could get it on with your boyfriend was a darkened theater, but I can’t really imagine 15-year-old me carrying a bottle of Astroglide in her backpack.
In my late teens (you know, when you’re old enough to star in porn, but too young to rent a car), I bought a book called Sex Tips For Straight Women From A Gay Man. It was amazing! I don’t know if it would still stand up today, but the hand job tips contained in that little gem of a book finally made me feel like I could give a decent hand job.
The thing about hand jobs is that the person you’re wanking knows his own junk way better than you. Your hand skills will never rival his hand skills, because he has first hand experience. Lots and lots of first hand experience. That said, there’s something freaking amazing about lying back, relaxing, and letting someone else do all the work.
According to The Frisky, if you follow these six simple tips you’ll be able to master the perfect hand job: 1. Position is key. Try placing yourself behind the hand job recipient so you can slip your arm around his waist and go ham. 2. LUBE. LUBE. LUBE. 3. If he’s uncut you can tug a little harder, but be gentler with his glans because it can be extra sensitive. 4. Start off slow and increase your pressure while taking cues from the recipient. 5. The tip is key. 6. Use both hands.
I would add a seventh tip, have the person you’re with pleasure themselves and take note of how they like it!
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