Post image for How To Give The Best Hand Job, Maybe… Almost… Certainly!

Hand jobs are hard, guys. So hard, I tell you. And I’m not just saying that to make a sexy pun. As a young lass, hand jobs kind of scared me. I didn’t really understand how to do them. I mean, of course I understood the concept, but the finer details like adequate pressure and sufficient lubricant totally escaped me. The thought of putting my moist hand on someone’s delicate peen and rubbing back and forth was truly horrific.

There’s nothing pleasurable about skin pulling on skin… That’s bad friction. Bad, I say. I know some girls would spit in their hands to help the process along, but spit grosses me out. Always has. It wasn’t until I was a more experienced sex fiend that I discovered the existence of lube and all the wonderful ways in which it can be used. That shit would have come in handy back in high school when the only place you could get it on with your boyfriend was a darkened theater, but I can’t really imagine 15-year-old me carrying a bottle of Astroglide in her backpack.

In my late teens (you know, when you’re old enough to star in porn, but too young to rent a car), I bought a book called Sex Tips For Straight Women From A Gay Man. It was amazing! I don’t know if it would still stand up today, but the hand job tips contained in that little gem of a book finally made me feel like I could give a decent hand job.

The thing about hand jobs is that the person you’re wanking knows his own junk way better than you. Your hand skills will never rival his hand skills, because he has first hand experience. Lots and lots of first hand experience. That said, there’s something freaking amazing about lying back, relaxing, and letting someone else do all the work.

According to The Frisky, if you follow these six simple tips you’ll be able to master the perfect hand job: 1. Position is key. Try placing yourself behind the hand job recipient so you can slip your arm around his waist and go ham. 2. LUBE. LUBE. LUBE. 3. If he’s uncut you can tug a little harder, but be gentler with his glans because it can be extra sensitive. 4. Start off slow and increase your pressure while taking cues from the recipient. 5. The tip is key. 6. Use both hands.

I would add a seventh tip, have the person you’re with pleasure themselves and take note of how they like it!


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Up Your Vampire Sex Game

by Alpha Harlot on October 22, 2016

Post image for Up Your Vampire Sex Game

Is vampire sex still hip? It’s just about Halloween, so even if it isn’t, the subject is topical. While digging around for pervy stuff on Indie Gogo, I came across a campaign for blood lube.

Not lubricant for your blood, but lube for sex that looks like blood.


Because kinky sex doesn’t have to happen just once a month….you should be able to have as much kinky, bloody sex as you want when ever you want.

The description on the Gogo page reads:

Just in time for Halloween, this campaign is for kinks and freaks. We searched for a long time to find blood lube online and in stores and couldn’t find traces of it anywhere. We’ve talked to a lot of friends online and in person and they also were very interested in the product! We want to be the first to really put a stamp on this blood fetish and give the world what they’ve been waiting for. We present to you, blood lube. Safe, fun, and VERY freaky.

Everything is still in the concept stage, but the couple behind the product have a unique idea as well as the passion for Gothic Love to back it up.

They’ve raised over a thousand dollars so far, and the campaign seems to have picked up some speed since I came across it last week.



Post image for Fap Along With Harlot: Money Making Cumshots

What does money get you? That all depends on who you ask. Fame? Fortune? Pussy? Problems?

Yup, all of those things but it also comes with responsibility.

While I’m looking at my bank account, it kind of makes me sad. It’s not zeroed out or anything…I’m just mad that I have to save my pennies for the wedding next year instead of buying new fuck me boots for the porno convention next month.

Priorities and what not.


I’ve been day dreaming about having an endless supply of money to pull from, and then I went over to PornHub to clear my head a bit. Money porn is totally a thing. Ready to experience it with me?

Let’s fap!

Rich sorority girls need dick too, especially if the dick belongs to someone who she probably shouldn’t be fucking. Nicole Aniston doesn’t mind breaking the rules, as long as she’s the one cumming in the end.

When Cece Capella is driving around in her livery car, she’s on the hustle for new ways to use her 18-year-old body to her advantage. Her passenger offers to help her out if she’s willing to go the distance with his fantasy.



Post image for Sting Me Once, Shame On You….

Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for, the award-winning porn site for women & couples. With over 18 years’ experience under her belt, writing about and for the adult entertainment industry, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

As humans, we all make mistakes. Sometimes those mistakes are completely understandable things which could happen to anyone, like accidentally sexting your father-in-law at 4am. Certain mistakes are harder to fathom, however, especially if one makes them more than once.

For example, it’s one thing to get snookered out your money by a con man once, but quite another to get snookered by the same con man, using the same scam, more than once.

Similarly, if your penis gets bitten by a poisonous Australian spider once, it’s an unfortunate mishap; when it happens again, however, you’ll have to forgive the rest of the world if we start wondering if these events were really “accidents,” or if you have some potentially awkward explaining to do.



Post image for Top 5: Reasons You Should Be Watching Porn Fidelity

Porn fidelity is a vow (usually) taken by a female pornstar, when she gets married, to only do porn scenes with her husband. Porn Fidelity is also a production company owned and operated by married couple Kelly and Ryan Madison. They started off by sharing their sex life on the net fifteen years ago and now they’ve got an award winning porn company. It’s a good life!

5. Porn Fidelity Is A Love Story



The Kinda Creepy World Of Internet Clown Porn

October 20, 2016
Thumbnail image for The Kinda Creepy World Of Internet Clown Porn

I’m scared of a lot of things but the most important two are dying alone and bees. I don’t consider either of these to be irrational fears. Loneliness is a crippling void that lurks around the corner of every life decision and bees are basically flying murder instruments. There’s nothing scary about clowns, though. For […]

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Last Week On Insta: Amalie Gassmann, Ana Foxxx & +++

October 20, 2016
Thumbnail image for Last Week On Insta: Amalie Gassmann, Ana Foxxx & +++

Goddammit, it sucks when your Instagram feed is dedicated to hot ladies and then they start posting pictures of their babies. Pets I’ll accept, but I draw the line at babies. I can’t be scrolling through Insta looking at the lasted pics posted by Dani Daniels and April O’Neil and then suddenly stumble upon a […]

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GIF Day: Veronica Rodriguez Gets You Through The Week

October 19, 2016
Thumbnail image for GIF Day: Veronica Rodriguez Gets You Through The Week

Born in Venezuela, Veronica Rodriguez went to Catholic school (thanks for that image), you know, the kind where they separate the girls from the boys, because sex is evil, which is funny considering how many catholic school girls go on to experiment sexually with other girls. And that’s exactly what happened. Veronica’s first kiss was […]

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Sweet Georgia Sumner On My Mind By Kesler Tran

October 19, 2016
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Georgia Sumner is gorgeous and Kesler Tran is a genius. There, now that I’ve gotten that out of the way I can tell you Peepz a story. It’s a good one… if you like public nudity and awkward family encounters. I spent the day with my Dad yesterday. We drove around looking at the fall […]

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Thandie Newton Nude In HBO’s New Show “Westworld”!

October 18, 2016
Thumbnail image for Thandie Newton Nude In HBO’s New Show “Westworld”!

I almost feel like getting cable again and paying the extra fee for HBO just so I can watch Westworld. Every week since that show has aired we keep getting more nudity. The other week it was Evan Rachel Wood, who is always a treat to see naked, and this week we’ve got Thandie Newton […]

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