Post image for Where, Oh Where Has Harlot Been?

Hey there Peepz!!
I took a little sabbatical from writing for Peeperz (and doing most things in real life and online actually) because my big huge to-do wedding was at the beginning of May!

I’m not going to get into all the crafty details, because I know that most of you are here for the sexy times and not for my Martha Stewart impression…but I made every.single.thing. that could possibly be made. Over 900 paper roses out of book pages, hand fasting cords, centerpieces, table runners, boutineers and bouquets…ALL THE THINGS!!!!!

Making a wedding happen DIY style (and even not DIY, I imagine) is an all encompassing hobby that took up every second that I was not working in my office…and even some sneaky down time when I was in my office and could do word processing wedding stuff…like printing 150 names and B.S. like that.
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Post image for Monday Morning Jerk Before Work: Have You Met Ava Dalush?

Ava Dalush is a British pornstar of Mexican and Scottish descent. She’s one of those brunettes that come off as effortlessly beautiful. She has an incredible body – her ass, tits, legs, everything is perfect – but if forced to choose a favorite body part I’d have to go with her hips. I don’t even know if that counts as a body part, but the line from her boobs to her waist to her hips is spectacular. I can’t stop following the curves of her body with my eyes.

The brown-eyed babe is from Nottingham, you know the place where Robin Hood is from. Yeah, I realize I just said that as if Robin Hood was a real person. The jury is still out on that one, I’m afraid. And by jury I mean historians.

When asked about her parents, Ava will tell you they were shit. An attitude I find refreshing. She doesn’t go into details, but she won’t hide from the truth either. Apparently, her father was in and out of her life and her mother was incredibly immature. That didn’t stop her from having a good time in school, though. She was the class clown and enjoyed every minute of hamming it up.

Ava wasn’t very promiscuous growing up, she lost her virginity when she was 14-years-old just for the hell of it, but hated it so much she didn’t have sex again until she was 23-years-old and had her first threesome. From there Ava discovered her sexuality and became a camgirl.

Industry types took notice of her right away and it wasn’t long before she got a call from a few porn companies as well as English Playboy. Ava had never done a photoshoot before, so she decided to go with the photography, which is how she ended up getting jiggy with Samantha Bentley in front of some photographers and porn directors. The rest, as they say, is history.

Actually, Ava still needed a little bit of convincing after that initial photoshoot, but once she made up her mind and tried porn she found it so natural she couldn’t believe she had waited so long to start her porn career.

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Post image for Last Week On Insta: Asphyxia Noir, Zahra Elise, & More +++

Why can’t I eat all the junk food I want forever and ever and ever and not worry about stupid things like my health and gaining weight? Eating healthy sucks! Ugh, maybe I can start skipping a day out of two when it comes to sweets. Le sigh.

Point me in the wrong direction 😈 @corporatevampire 🖤 #starfacedgirl #asphyxianoir #setlife #asphyxia #starface

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I miss Asphyxia Noir.

Once upon a time in Mexico… Been really busy lately, so here’s a previously unreleased photo I’ve been saving.

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Post image for Bella Thorne & Scott Disick Dating Is The Weirdest Thing Ever!

I’ve never seen an episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, but I’ve seen a million Scott Disick GIFs on Buzzfeed and although I’ve definitely never seen an episode of Shake It Up! I’ve been able to determine that that’s the name of the Disney show that launched Bella Thorne’s career.

I tried googling an image from Shake It Up! to show you guys how Bella looked back then, but she’s so young on that show I feel like posting any picture from that time period is likely to get me arrested. If you want to google “Bella Thorne Before & After Plastic Surgery,” though, you’ll find lots of compare and contrast images.

Basically, Bella Thorne is the new Miley Cyrus. She’s all over the gram and the interwebz taking off her clothes, doing funky things with her hair and generally just trying to shed her Disney persona. It’s working, because all the porny celeb blogs are all about Bella these days.

As for Scott Disick, you may know him as The Lord or Kourtney Kardashian’s baby daddy. Those two had a pretty public breakup a couple years ago and now he’s dating Bella Thorne or at least sexing her up on a daybed in Cannes. It’s the weirdest thing.

To put things in perspective, Scott is 33-years-old while Bella is 19-years old. Sure, it’s not as big of an age difference as Doug Hutchison and Courtney Stodden, who were 51-years-old and 16-years-old at the time of their wedding. The age difference isn’t even what’s so weird about this. It’s just so out of left field.

Do they have anything in common? What do they talk about?! I can’t even.

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Post image for Was It Luxurious Rat Crap, At Least?

Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the award-winning porn site for women & couples. With over 18 years’ experience under her belt, writing about and for the adult entertainment industry, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

Despite spending the better part of half my life working in the porn industry, I know almost nothing about choosing a good location for a porn shoot.

While we’re all familiar with the practice of porn producers renting out upscale homes in which to film (a practice which doesn’t always work out so well for all parties involved), I’m not at all sure how this process works.

Does someone from the studio do a walkthrough of the home first to make sure it’s suitable for filming? Alternatively, do they rely on ‘virtual tours’ available on some real estate listing websites, perhaps?

If a certain porn location-related news item which came to light this week is any indication, pornographers may need to add a new type of consultant to their list of location advisors and information resources; a trustworthy pest-control professional.

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Sex News: You’ve Made Porn, Now What?, Some More “Hot Girls Wanted” Shittiness, & Man Hate Jerks It To Portland

May 26, 2017
Thumbnail image for Sex News: You’ve Made Porn, Now What?, Some More “Hot Girls Wanted” Shittiness, & Man Hate Jerks It To Portland

I’ve got bullshit followed by some more bullshit and some what the fuck for you Peepz today. Enjoy! Once You Have Made Pornography (The Establishment) Pornography will change your life. There is no way to fully convey to you the absoluteness of this. The magnitude with which this is true. This is not the kind […]

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Throw Back Thursday: Angelina Jolie For People Magazine (1998)

May 25, 2017
Thumbnail image for Throw Back Thursday: Angelina Jolie For People Magazine (1998)

Back in 1998, Angelina Jolie was my ultimate celebrity crush. I still think she’s gorgeous, but I miss the knife wielding, blood wearing, crazy Angelina with an edgy style. These days (and ever since her image reform) Angie is kind of boring. She’s too much of a goody two shoes what with her UN work […]

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Caroline Vreeland Topless At The Beach Is A Miracle

May 24, 2017
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Caroline Vreeland‘s boobs are real, right? I really hope so, because I want to go on living in a world where such perfection can exist without the intervention of a plastic surgeon. I see so many fake boobs during the course of a normal work day that I don’t know what real boobs look like […]

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Sex News: Talking Sex Dolls, Felted Boobs, & History Of Cunt

May 23, 2017
Thumbnail image for Sex News: Talking Sex Dolls, Felted Boobs, & History Of Cunt

I went to court today to contest a ticket for something or other and I won! I actually won. I can’t believe the judge believed me. A sex doll that can talk – but is it perfect Harmony? (BBC News) Harmony is a new type of sex doll – one that can move and talk. […]

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Morning Jerk Before Work: Have You Met Vera Drake?

May 23, 2017
Thumbnail image for Morning Jerk Before Work: Have You Met Vera Drake?

If you do an image search of Vera Drake, the first picture you’ll see if a kindly old English woman who used to give illegal abortions to women in the 1950s. Of course, that’s the plot to a highly acclaimed movie that was released in 2004 and not at all what I was looking for. […]

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