Subscribe
Arizona is an interesting state. It’s like Texas without all of the wealth. A lot of very angry, old social conservatives live there and they like to stir the shit around because it’s really hot and there’s nothing better to do. No longer content with trolling Mexicans and liberals, they are now setting their sights on porn and strippers.
According to a report, more than 80 Republican candidates for state-level office oppose touching or tipping fully nude strippers. For those of you who have never been, while you can’t run up and touch a stripper without a hairy wall of a man flying out of the shadows to choke slam you, you can tip them and they might take your hands and put them somewhere. It’s pretty much the whole point of going to a strip club unless you just want to watch them, which is cool, but it’s like going to a petting zoo to buy gum.
If your boner or clit-rection isn’t already scared, they’re also targeting “obscene hardcore pornography,” which to conservatives is the loose term they apply to anything more sexually explicit than an early episode of 7th Heaven. Every Republican Candidate for Congress from the state of Arizona was in favor of prison sentences for people found guilty of selling porn. This sentence can run up to 5 years for simply sending porn through the mail and it doubles for second offenders.
Why so much hatred for awesome things? Are Republicans bad people? No, not at all. Some of my favorite paycheck writing people are Republicans and they go hard. However, when politics are involved everybody, liberals included, will stab citizens in the back in order to please powerful lobbyists.
According to Matthew Hendley of the New Times:
“The lobbyists at the Center for Arizona Policy released the candidates’ answers to their questionnaires for this year’s elections, which is not only a good indication of the CAP morality cops’ agenda, but also of how much CAP ass-kissing the Republicans are willing to do.”
Basically, a few really rich people who hate erections are to blame.
So before you go cussing out your conservative buddy a few cubicles away, take a step back and look at the real problem – rich old people.
Pingback: New York Passed A Bill Prohibiting Welfare Funds Spent On Strippers