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My boyfriend seems to have lost interest in me, especially physically, what can I do to get him fired up about me again?
- Lily the Hun
Dear Lilly,
I’m sorry. The feeling of rejection or worse yet, apathy, is really hard to deal with. It’s an unfortunate reality that over time, couples can grow apart and their attraction to each other can wane. Honestly, someone in the relationship has to recognize this (usually the person it’s happening to) and THEN they actually have to do something about it without coming across like a nag. It can be tricky, but i think there are a few great ways to do it.
1. Be hot…for YOURSELF. It doesn’t matter if he’s gained 20 pounds, never grooms his body hair, and wears the same taco sauce-stained t shirts all the time. Don’t live in your pajamas. Dress up. Put makeup on. Change your hair a bit. If nothing else, this will give you a little shift in your self confidence, and that will reflect in other ways.
2. Get turned on and take control. Rather than to go through the motions on the same couch, the same bed, at the same time, in the same position while the dog stares at you, get yourself all worked up with porn or one of those XXX books that are all the rage right now, but don’t masturbate. Instead, take it out on him the second he walks in the door. Make him wonder what got into you.
3. Be brave and bring it up. In a non-confrontational way, over dinner or drinks, tell him that you want to enjoy each other the way you did before. Ask him what you can do.
4. Try to recreate what you loved about each other in the beginning. Spontaneous blow jobs in the car? The occasional 3-way, anal sex, or something kinky you both love? Don’t be too lazy to enjoy what got you together in the first place.
5. Lastly, please know that i realize that this is a two-way street, but in my experience, one person has to be the one to “give”, and the sooner that happens, the sooner you’ll know if you guys can get back what you once had.
i think you can, and bravo to you for trying!
good luck,
jd
World famous adult star and sex educator jessica drake is here every week to answer your questions about sex, dating, the world of adult entertainment. While waiting for the next installment why not see more of jessica over at WickedPictures.com
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Do you have your own question or problem you want advice on? Just leave it in the comments section below. If you prefer to email your questions, send them to the Peeperz editor at bucky@peeperz.com and he’ll forward them on to jd. Be sure to check out the previous installments of the column at this link: Ask jd.
