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My girlfriend and I have been together for a number of years now and the sex started off great but in the last little while her libido has really bottomed out.
We use to have great sex frequently and we’re still in love and she’s willing to get me off when I really need it. She says she doesn’t know what’s wrong and wants her old sex drive back. Do you have any advice for jump starting the female sex drive?
– AlexistheMan
Hi Alex -
After people have been in a relationship awhile, it’s natural to have less sex. Sometimes just the stress of normal life can get in the way, and when you no longer have that initial hormone rush of a new sex partner, it’s just not as fun anymore.
Other things can affect a woman’s sex drive also: having children, being on certain medications, illnesses. Without knowing if any of those things are the case, I would say that you need to take some time (both of you) concentrating on what turns her on, and figure out how to reignite the spark.
From a woman’s perspective, I recommend that she takes some time for herself. Some pampering will relax her, and some treatments- hair, nails, etc. will make her feel pretty, if that’s something she’s missing out on. Masturbation is KEY here. It’s very important that she knows what turns her on. It may be tricky for you to suggest to her that she should be masturbating, but why don’t you visit your local adult store or shop online and pick up a vibrator and a book of sexy stories for her?
Erotic literature is something that really gets a lot of women’s’ engines running, and there are all different kinds – from fairly tame to some really explicit stuff! Some sexy lingerie or some shoes that she loves might be nice too – in my experience when a woman thinks she looks sexy and she puts off that vibe, then the sex drive builds.
The most important thing you can do is give her the support, attention, and encouragement…and the time. I think it will pay off for both of you.
xo,
j
World famous adult star and sex educator jessica drake is here every week to answer your questions about sex, dating, the world of adult entertainment. While waiting for the next installment why not see more of jessica over at WickedPictures.com
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