Alpha Harlot

Sex is on the Agenda

January 14, 2017
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When I was younger, getting laid was my top priority. I’d spend my days in the office scouring Craig’s List on the DL to set up my sex session for the evening. If I didn’t have a new sex adventure planned before I punched out, I’d get in touch with one of my standby dicks […]

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Fap Along With Harlot: Gym Sex

January 14, 2017
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Are you Peepz going to the gym? It’s the whole “New Year New You” nonsense that has made my tiny, intimate fit club filled to the brim with hottie housewives that are looking to knock a few pounds of holiday goodies off of their back end. It’s kind of annoying, but it happens every year […]

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Best Present Ever, But Not For Her

January 10, 2017
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Did you Peepz get any presents while you were celebrating or not celebrating this holiday season? I gave my wife a Pure Wand. She cried when she opened it and she cried when she came with it the first time. It was probably the best present ever. Then I started reading about odd presents that […]

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Fap Along With Harlot: Suck It

January 9, 2017
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I’m still not ready for it to be January. I don’t give a fuck that we’re nearly halfway through the month, I’m still feeling the waves of last year and I’m pretty much done with this whole thing. “Suck it,” I said to my wife. “Are you writing for Peeperz or thinking out loud about […]

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Brokeback or Bust

January 7, 2017
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I can remember back in 1991 when I was watching In Living Color with my family and one of the Waynes brothers introduced Jennifer Lopez for the first time. Something tingled inside me and I knew that I wanted to marry her. I was only 11 so I didn’t understand any of the dynamics of […]

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Fap Along With Harlot: Three is Never a Crowd

January 7, 2017
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I’m in the middle of gearing up for 2017 with group sex on my mind. I want to share my new wife with another woman in the worst way, so we’re on the hunt for a new friend who is down to get kinky with us. Talking about group sex with my wife turns me […]

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Fap Along With Harlot: Take My Picture

January 1, 2017
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Tis the season to receive expensive gifts. When I was younger, I was under the impression that anyone with a fancy pants DSLR was a photographer, and therefore completely qualified to take naked pictures of me while stuffing dildos into my butthole. As I grew older and wiser, I learned that this was not always […]

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Dildos Deflect Robbery

December 25, 2016
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This time of year always makes me nostalgic for the retail life. I know it might sound crazy, but I completely crave working in retail situations come December. I love the rush of checking stock and making people’s holiday dreams come true with a keystroke and a walk into the back room. I love hearing […]

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They Pay For Rent, Not To Get Fucked With

December 17, 2016
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Apartment living can sometimes be the pits. As much as I appreciate the fact that I’m not the one that has to shell out the cash when pipes explode (which sucks btw) or when the oven stops working (which also sucks, but is much less messy), having people living on all sides of you is […]

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Fap Along with Harlot: Winter Time

December 17, 2016
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Last weekend I was reminded why I hate driving my smart car in the snow. I was driving up and down mountains on a sheet of ice to get to some Christmas dinner thing at a restaurant in the middle of the woods. The food was great, but next year I think we should pick […]

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