Best Present Ever, But Not For Her

by Alpha Harlot on January 10, 2017

Post image for Best Present Ever, But Not For Her

Did you Peepz get any presents while you were celebrating or not celebrating this holiday season? I gave my wife a Pure Wand. She cried when she opened it and she cried when she came with it the first time. It was probably the best present ever.

Then I started reading about odd presents that people wound up with and I came across this beauty of a tale. Melody Lenox is the Human Resources Director of Axxess Technology Solutions in Dallas. She’s pretty pissed off because she’s being harassed by someone who has keyed her car, posted phony Craigslist ads with her info and then on December 7th, they sent her a bag of dicks.

Not like, dildos or anything…

Gummy shaped penises (which btw, are the safest kind of dicks to be sent in the mail).

Lenox saw her penis mail as an opportunity to figure out who has been making her life hell for the past few months. She decided to sue the company Dicks By Mail in order to have the name of her anonymous dick giver disclosed.

It was smart thinking, in my opinion.

Listen, anonymous harassment sucks. Getting a bag of gummy dicks in the mail would be funny to me, because I’m a pervert who enjoys candy. But since all the other bullshit is happening in Ms. Lenox’s life, you’ve got to think that someone is just out to get her and that’s pretty fucked up. Don’t do fucked up shit to people, even if you don’t like them or they don’t like you. Karma’s a bitch and even if you don’t believe in karma, it’s just not good for your psyche.

If anyone wants to send me a bag of dicks, get in touch and I’ll give you a mailing address. I’m into it for real.

Source: NY Post

Image: Rachael Madori in Ass Candy by Brazzers

  • I just got clothes for Christmas. Would’ve rather had a bag of gummy dicks.

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