Don’t Buy Sex Toys From Amazon: Beware The Fake Hitachi!

by Lola Byrd on January 9, 2014

Post image for Don’t Buy Sex Toys From Amazon: Beware The Fake Hitachi!

A couple months ago a friend of mine posted a link to Facebook in an effort to raise funds. He needed help getting his sister pregnant, or rather, his sister needed help fund-raising money to finance the fertility treatments she needed to get pregnant. The father to be was her husband not her brother.

I was immediately intrigued by the the site they were using, gofundme.com. It let’s you crowdsource funds for anything, and I mean anything. I’ve always enjoyed free things, so I started day dreaming about all the things I could raise funds for. I felt guilty that my crowdsourcing was for totally selfish reasons, but I soon got over it when I started thinking about all the sex toys I could get with a little help from you guys.

I was dreaming big. Unfortunately people would rather give their money to good causes, like helping someone get pregnant instead of helping someone achieve the best orgasms ever. My dream of owning an Eroscillator (ultimate combo worth $254.95) is still only a dream. I did, however, receive one donation from one of you Peepz and thanks to Zach I was able to buy an Hitachi Magic Wand, or at least, that was the plan.

When I created a gofundme.com page for the Magic Hitachi Wand, I forgot to calculate fees and shipping and handling, so I was short a couple dollars when I went to buy the Magic Wand from Babeland’s online store. I was pretty bummed about that, but never one to despair, I started googling like crazy for an online merchant who 1. accepted paypal (that’s where the gofundme.com donations go)  and 2. offered free shipping.

I couldn’t make it happen. The only place that offered the Hitachi with free shipping and in my price bracket was Amazon and they don’t accept paypal. I don’t have a credit card, so I had to transfer the money from paypal to my bank account, then I had to get a virtual Visa Debit card from my bank, and only then could I finally order the Hitachi. It took several days (weeks).

I was soooo glad, when god knows how many daaaays (weeeeks) later I received a package in the mail with the telltale Amazon logo. When I opened it, though, it was a whole other can of worms. As soon as I laid eyes on the Hitachi, I knew something wasn’t quite right.

After all the waiting and the anticipation, I was holding a freakin’ counterfeit Hitachi in my hands. It was like someone had canceled Christmas.

Before returning it to Amazon, I went on the official Hitachi Website and this is what I found out:

  • The genuine Hitachi Magic Wand has a rectangular plate surrounding the on/off switch.  The fake has an oval switch plate.  That’s currently the easiest way to spot the counterfeit.
  • The genuine Hitachi Magic Wand is UL rated, the fake is not.  For consumers, the biggest threat is personal safety. Genuine products are rigorously tested according to strict UL requirements, being evaluated for potential risk of fire, shock, and/or personal injury. Products are not certified until they meet established standards.
  • Because counterfeit products have not undergone a testing and certification process, they can present potential safety hazards to the consumers.
  • Because inferior components are used, the fakes are almost half-a-pound lighter than the genuine product. The power’s just not the same, and the fakes are known to fail quickly.
  • The genuine Hitachi Magic Wand comes with a one year warranty.  The fake has no warranty. In some cases, the fakes contain a copy of the genuine Hitachi warranty, but it is worthless.

One by one, I checked off all the items on the list. That made it official, I had definitely been sold a fake. Off to the amazon website I went to print my return label, where I was told a return label wasn’t available for this purchase. Ticked off, I called Amazon and told them I had been sold a counterfeit Hitachi Wand and that I wanted to return it.

The girl I spoke too wasn’t too impressed with my whole “this is a counterfeit product” spiel. In fact, she didn’t quite seem to grasp how a vibrator could be a fake. She was no help at all, especially since the only thing she had to say was that I wasn’t able to return it, because of the nature of the product. I wasn’t even able to lodge a formal complaint about the merchant who had totally misrepresented themselves.

Amazon is full of counterfeit Hitachi Wands. One seller after another. It’s all very depressing and nothing can be done about it. Amazon doesn’t really care that they’re selling counterfeit products. That was the first time I ever bought something from them and it’s probably the last.

All of this because I didn’t want to pay the extra 10$ for shipping and handling. Seriously, DO NOT BUY SEX TOYS FROM AMAZON. If you’re ordering sex toys online, go to a dedicated source like Good Vibes or Babeland. They have incredible reputations as sex toys sellers, they only sell good toys, you won’t get a toy that’s been used and returned, you won’t get any fakes, and you won’t get any toys made from questionable materials, etc.

Of course, after all of this is said and done, I still tried my fake Hitachi. Since the fake one is made of unknown cheap material, I didn’t want to put it directly against my clit, so I pressed it against the outside of my pyjama pants. It was powerful enough, and I was able to have a few quick orgasms, but the safety concerns aren’t really worth the risk… I should probably just throw it out and fork out the money for a new one, but so far I can’t bring myself to do it.

Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. That sort of thing. Damn, but now I really want to know just how powerful the real Hitachi is?! It must be amazing. And no risk of fire, so that’s a plus.

Follow Lola Byrd on Twitter @misslolabyrd!

  • Alpha Harlot

    I agree with this article completely.
    Also…get yourself a PayPal debit mastercard!! They’re free and it makes using PayPal money everywhere a hell of a lot easier. They also have this cash back thing where you can get 1% back on each purchase that you make using it as a credit card (not debit)…you don’t need to be approved or anything…so if your credit is fucked (like mine), it doesn’t matter.

    • I think I tied getting a paypal debit mastercard before, but it wasn’t available to me where I live or something like that. I’ll have to check again. It was a while ago, so maybe that changed.

  • Robonino123

    This just sucks.

  • Zach Becvar

    This pissed me off too. I once had a similar thing happen when I purchased something on ebay and it ended up costing me $800 to get what I should have only had to pay about half that for.

  • BDY

    I’ve shopped on Paypal for years and never had an issue. I’ve also bought several sex toys for the Mrs off Amazon without issue. I got a nice gift card for my Bday I was looking to get the Mrs something dirty.

    • I guess it depends on what you buy and if you’re savy enough to check out the vendor/seller before adding to your cart. Clearly, I’m not very savy when it comes to Amazon.

      • BDY

        You were just overwhelmed with excitement or you might have seen that coming.

  • Erswi

    At least you can recycle it, amiright?

  • Pingback: Diddling Diary #1: Morning Selfies, Sinn Sage, & Tabu Tales | Miss Lola Wants()

  • Pingback: Vibrator Wish List()

Previous post:

Next post: