I can remember back in 1991 when I was watching In Living Color with my family and one of the Waynes brothers introduced Jennifer Lopez for the first time. Something tingled inside me and I knew that I wanted to marry her. I was only 11 so I didn’t understand any of the dynamics of sex, but married seemed nice, so that’s what I went with.
As I got older, and I started dating boys, I learned that it was super rare for my friends to admit they were into people that were the same gender as they were. My lust for Jennifer Lopez stayed hidden because I wanted to be “normal” and accepted by the group mentality that included heterosexuality.
It was a different world back then though. Closet doors have been, not only busting wide open, but never closed in the first place. That makes me feel kind of old but in the best way possible. I got married (or at least, we got the license and all the paperwork is filed…the actual big hoopla of a shindig will be in May as planned…we just didn’t want to head into 2017 without the proper documents being signed…just in case) in December and it’s forced me to try and see things from a different perspective.
Double standards drive me crazy. The fact that people are still ashamed of their physical desires because of imaginary rules that have been grandfathered in through the generations seems like a pretty piss poor way to do things.
New York Magazine posted an article about the dynamics of straight rural men having sex that was pretty intriguing. The men discussed in the piece are looking for friends to have sex, specifically oral, every now and then. They don’t want the emotional attachments or the clingy behavior. A lot of them are already married to women, so they aren’t looking for a feminine type of fellow. They’re looking for someone similar to their reflection, someone who has the same idea about male on male sexual situations and won’t want anything more than a pair of shared orgasms and a bit of casual conversation over coffee.
They’re calling this phenomenon “Buddy Sex” because the men involved are friends with benefits, even if they’d rather not label themselves as gay or bisexual. It’s the labels that they have the issue with, not necessarily the sex acts that they involve themselves in. And that might be my personal problem with this whole situation.
People are going to enjoy sex however they enjoy it. Labeling sex as some kind of shameful activity when it’s fun between consenting adults seems like a waste of time to me.
What do you Peepz think? Are you able to separate sex from emotional attachment in your mind? Would you be down for a same sex encounter if the timing was right? Let me know in the comments below!
Source: New York Magazine