Dream Orgasms, Horny Dreams, Wet Dreams, & Nude Model Pics!

by Lola Byrd on April 12, 2013

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It’s really hard to come up with shit to say when all I really want to do is write: “Naked model, pictures here.” I mean, that pretty much sums it up, but I’d be out of a job real quick if that’s all I wrote.

So here’s the deal, today, instead of writing an ode to Eniko Mihalik’s tits and ass, I’m just gonna direct you to the photo gallery. I’m pretty sure you can figure out how amazing they are for yourself. As for the rest of this post, I’m just going to ramble on about wet, horny dreams, and orgasms. Deal?

I can be pretty gullible at times. It’s true. One of my friends once convinced me that ‘toy’ was pronounced “toe-eeee’ and I believed her for a loooong time. In my defense I was 14 years old and English isn’t my first language. Oh, and she was a pathological liar. Then again, there are some things you’ll never convince me of… The existence of God for instance, or girls that have orgasms the first time they have sex (with no clitoral stimulation whatsoever).

I don’t want to call these women liars, as I’m sure these things do happen, but I can’t help but roll my eyes in disbelief every time I hear a chick say she came like a fountain the first time she had sex, or that she can come through intercourse only. It might be true. In fact, I’m sure it is true in some instances, but I always have a hard time buying what these ladies are selling.

Just like the ladies who claim to have sleep orgasms, or nipple orgasms, or thought orgasms… I DON’T BUY IT. Sure, it’s a well known fact that guys have wet dreams (do they have an orgasm in their sleep or do they just ejaculate, who knows), but I’ve seen a guy come with a one second lick of the top of his penis. ONE SECOND. Then, splooge all over the place. I’ve never met a chick who can cum with so little direct stimulation, is all I’m saying.

I’ve had my share of erotic dreams or horny dreams (as I like to call them). Actually, just the other day I had a dream where I was insanely horny. Like humping the armrest of the couch during a family reunion kind of horny. When I have one of these dreams, all I want to do is get off. My clit is so engorged it might as well be Rudolph’s throbbing blinking red nose.

The worst part about these dreams is that I can’t find satisfaction. I’m basically running around all over the place trying to have an orgasm, but every time I get close some obstacle gets in my way. After what seems like an eternity of this cat and mouse game, I usually wake up with the biggest lady wood you’ve ever encountered. My house could be on fire and I’d have to take care of business before leaving my bed.

Come on now, leave me your thoughts, anecdotes, and personal stories on any one of the topics I just mentioned in the comment section. To get the ball rolling, here’s one of my sex dreams: I was a hermaphrodite and my big ass dick was flexible enough that I could literally fuck myself. Oh, and I could levitate off my bed when I was doing the deed. Your turn.

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Via thenipslip.com – Follow Lola Byrd on Twitter @misslolabyrd!

  • Squirts420

    Hate to burst your bubble, chick…but I’m a female and I can definitely say that I have had PLENTY of sleepgasms. More often than not they wake me up and my vagina is still contracting. In fact this past week I had 3 in one night (first time I’ve ever had more than one) – two of which woke me up mid-cum…Upon getting out of bed there was a damp spot on my fitted sheet and in the middle of the damp spot it was all sticky. If you don’t buy it – that’s your own problem I guess – but it happens.

    • https://twitter.com/#!/misslolabyrd Lola Byrd

      I said I had a hard time believing it, not that I categorically denied its existence. It’s just one of those things that’s hard to imagine when it’s never happened to you. I mean, how do yo know you had an orgasm? You can make a pretty damn big wet spot on your sheet just by being turned on and when I’m turned on my clit throbs and my pussy clenched on itself… If you’re asleep, do you remember the physical sensation of an orgasm? And if you’re asleep, how do you know you weren’t touching yourself?

  • Robonino123

    I’ve read up on this and dreams like this usually mean you are sexually frustrated. Plus, if a man ever tells you that he has never had a dream where he is sucking his own dick he is a liar.

    I had a dream the other night though where I petted a cat and it made the cat get super horny. It started humping on furniture the way that a dog would. I don’t know what the fuck that meant.

    • https://twitter.com/#!/misslolabyrd Lola Byrd

      Could be.

      Hmm, people usually associate cats with females and dogs with makes. As in, when my friend was a kid she thought that cats and dogs matted with each other and that the cat where the baby girls and that the dogs were the baby dogs. Maybe you have have a desire to “pet” a woman until she can’t control herself anymore and she wants to rub herself all over the furniture. Or maybe you just like cats.

      • Robonino123

        I have been thinking about someone an awful lot recently, so probably true. I’ve yet to experience an actual “wet dream” in my life.

    • Iso

      Never had a dream I was sucking myself off. If it’s really that common, I would say I haven’t because my dreams usually are all possible, even if extremely improbable, and I know I am not flexible enough to suck myself off.

  • BDY

    The lady has extremely sensitive nipples. She said when she was younger she could stimulate them alone and orgasm. She has also confirmed sleep orgasms before. Usually though, she just wakes up wet and horny as hell. This has benefitted me in the past. As for dreams about sucking my own dick, I haven’t had a dream about it but I’ve thought about it. I’ve had a few wet dreams over the years that have required a change of undergarments, when I wore them, upon waking up.

    • https://twitter.com/#!/misslolabyrd Lola Byrd

      You’re lady is lucky. Maybe my disbelief stems from envy.

      • BDY

        Could be though she had never had an orgasm from intercourse before we started dating. So she had reason to envy you prior to last year.

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