Farrah Abraham Molds Her Pussy & Asshole For Sex Toy Line

by Lola Byrd on September 25, 2013

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Yeah, soooooTopco (a major sex toy manufacturer) is making a line of Farrah Abraham sex toys. And like every other pornstar that has a sex doll or a fleshlight out there, she had to go in and get her pussy, asshole, and big ol’ fake tits molded to make it happen.

(There’s a joke in there somewhere about the various definitions of mold and how what’s her name teen mom has a moldy sweatbox… it’ll come to me.)

Annnnnd, since Farrah Abraham was born a reality TV star and literally can’t get out of bed unless someone is filming it, there is lots of coverage of the event. Why anyone would want cameras around when they have their legs up in the air and a big ol’ plaster mold covering their genitals, I have no idea? It’s really not a good look on anybody.

Farrah is now happy as a clam about her new pornstar status, saying:

“Hey, so I think I’m taking sex symbol to a whole new level today. I’m at Topco, which is, like, the fourth biggest in the nation adult toy sales manufacturer. So now I’m going to have a whole, like, sex line. People are going to jack off to me. This is crazy.”

Baby, hate to break it too you, but pervs have been jacking off to you since you were a pregnant teenager on MTV and as for bringing sex symbol to a whole new level, tell that to every legit pornstar who has ever had their genitals molded, ever.

And there are lots of them. As Guns n’ Roses once wisely said, “Honey you ain’t the first. Lots of others came before you woman. Said but you been the worst.”

The celebrity endorsed sex toy line doesn’t hit the stores until January, but it’s never too soon to get in as much publicity as possible, especially when you’ve made a career out of marketing yourself. Trigger happy, err I mean Twitter happy, Farrah Abraham took to Twitter to get the ball rolling.

And by ball rolling, I mean getting people to jack of to her some more, which all and all is not a bad career:

ANALMODE2
Via huffingtonpost.com & radaronline.com by @misslolabyrb

  • Erswi

    So I now have the rare opportunity to stick my ramrod in an exact replica of a cavernous snatch that’s been hollowed out by childbirth AND James Deen’s larger than average peen? Pass?

    • https://twitter.com/#!/misslolabyrd Lola Byrd

      You could always titty fuck her fake boobs. Wait… I mean, her fake fake boobs. I mean, the plastic replica of her plastic tits.

  • Robonino123

    Who is taking care of the kid that I’m assuming she has since she was on Teen Mom. That kid is going to grow up to be well balanced I’m sure.

    • https://twitter.com/#!/misslolabyrd Lola Byrd

      1. I hear Vivid & MTV have comprehensive daycare.

      2. Ha! I read somewhere a quote of her saying that she wanted to show her daughter her sex tape and watch it with her when she’s old enough, you know, like 12-13.

      • Robonino123

        Because what teenage daughter doesn’t want to see a video of their mom taking it in the butt.

        • BDY

          We have a future leader of America right there.

          • https://twitter.com/#!/misslolabyrd Lola Byrd

            Long live teen moms!

  • Pornhub Katie

    Lola, when are you going in to be molded?

    • https://twitter.com/#!/misslolabyrd Lola Byrd

      As soon as the mold clears up.

  • edwards21

    So can she just cut the shit and become a full time porn star already? Seems like the only thing she’s even remotely good at is fucking. As you said, she won’t be the first, and she ain’t the last, but I can’t help but think she’d be fun while it lasts.

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  • cabledog

    I am not a PORN STAR !!!!!!!! LOL

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