According to a study, women who come into regular contact with semen are happier than those who do not. Sound like an article from a questionable porn magazine? Nope! It’s a topic actual scientists decided to tackle.
The study appeared in a Scientific American article regarding the benefits of semen, including the properties of its chemical makeup. In addition to whatever chemicals it is that makes tissues really hard, semen also includes serotonin, a natural anti-depressant, and oxytocin – otherwise known as the “love hormone.” Oxytocin has been linked to anxiety reduction, orgasms, maternal instincts and social recognition – it’s like chocolate but from your balls!
The study was done by taking 300 women and comparing the happiness of those who used condoms and those who did not. After the mathematicians analyzed all the data, it was found that women who came into contact with semen by means of unprotected vaginal intercourse experienced greater levels of happiness, and less depression.
There are obviously some important implications of this study. As magical as semen is, nothing is more depressing than STDs and babies. The women having unprotected sex in this study were no doubt doing it with partners they absolutely trust, and were most likely on some form of birth control.
So there you have it! For those of you able to have regular unprotected sex with your partners, enjoy the happiness. For those of you who are unable to, then I’m not sure how this information can help you. Maybe you can buy a bunch of empty gel caps, hit up Pornhub, and get to work. You can’t let that chemical bliss go to waste.