When I read on Twitter that Trojan (as in Trojan Condoms) was going to be doing a vibrator give away on the streets of New York, I was super excited. I got in touch with every friend that I have on that side of the Hudson River and had a few people promise to try and snag me a toy or two.
Trojan set up hot dog style pushcarts in two locations in Manhattan to give away ten thousand vibrators to those who waited on line in the heat. Now that’s a public service, everyone is more happy and content when they have a free sex toy in their hands. I kept getting updates from one of my friends while she waited in a line of what she claimed was five hundred people long. She brought along her boyfriend so that they could snag one for her and one for me.
Then I got a disappointing text that said,
“They’re shutting this bitch DOWN! Mayor Bloomberg doesn’t want us to have any fun! No giant sodas?! No VIBRATORS?? Where the fuck am I living, in the middle of a Communist China??”
I was sad at the news but I thanked them for trying.
All the New York news stations were buzzing about the story this morning. Apparently Trojan didn’t get the proper permits to set up shop on the streets and give shit away for free. The massive crowds that had formed for the give away had alerted the New York City police that something serious was going on and they did a bit of investigating and discovered that there was a problem. I imagine that there’s a lot of red tape that you have to get through in order to give away free dildos not to mention checking the ID’s of the customers that were getting the sex toys and making sure that everything was on the up and up.
If Trojan really didn’t bother to get the proper paperwork, then that’s their mistake. Though I didn’t hear a peep about this on the news yesterday and all of a sudden everyone is talking about what they were doing and how prude tyrants are running New York.
Though, I kind of think that the lack of permits might have been Trojan trying to drum up publicity. A bit of free advertising is always the best kind.