Fucking Fruits & Veggies

by alpha harlot on August 2, 2011

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It’s summer time in the Garden State of New Jersey and that means that it’s time for the local farmer’s market to start stocking their dildo harvest. Phallic looking (and even some not so phallic looking) vegetables make great fuck buddies in a pinch when there are no vibrators to be found.

The usual suspects are easy to spot; long thick cucumbers and zucchini are always a good place to start for vegetal masturbating.  You can also have fun playing, “Lets See How Many Carrots We Can Stuff Inside” or a few rounds of  “Hide the Banana.”  Small eggplants and even smaller green (not spicy) peppers can be lots of fun.

Before you play with any kind of fruit or vegetable sexually, make sure that you clean your toys thoroughly before inserting them in any part of your body…even your mouth.  I’d also recommend covering your veggies with condoms for a bit of added protection…especially if you’re going to be fucking yourself with something soft, like a banana.

One of my most embarrassing moments happened about 10 years ago during a cam show because I was unaware of the whole condom on the banana rule.

I was just doing my thing, chatting with my fans topless and discussing with them what kind of dirty deeds they wanted to see when someone asked if I could make myself squirt with some kind of food.  I wasn’t sure if I would actually be able to squirt with something like that, but always being up for a sexual challenge, I said that I would certainly try, so I grabbed the nearest banana, adjusted the camera, leaned back in my chair and had a go at it.

After about 3 minutes of pounding my pussy and moaning with the fruit stuffed inside me, I realized that there was a problem.  I could no longer feel the banana hitting my gspot…Instead it was more like a gushy, squishy type of a feeling and it really wasn’t turning me on much at all.

When I took the banana out of my pussy to see what the issue was, I discovered that the inside of the banana was pretty much empty.  The super hard fucking that I had been giving myself had smooshed all the banana innards into a baby food type of consistency and now it was slowly oozing out of me. Not so hot.

I ended up scooping out banana gunk and finishing up my cam show rather quickly with a good old fashion fingering.As soon as I came, I said good bye to everyone watching me and ran to the shower to lean myself up, inside and out. Food play can totally be a blast, especially this time of year when there are so many deliciously fuckable options to choose from…

Just remember to always have safe sex. Especially with fruit.

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