Gabrielle Caunesil Is Shilling Swimsuits With Her Bod For Bamba

by Lola Byrd on May 14, 2017

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I’ve been having really, really weird dreams lately. I’m pretty sure I have weird dreams all the time, but lately I’ve been able to remember all the gory details. It’s strange, because just a couple of weeks ago I was complaining to myself, as I am wont to do, that I couldn’t recall the last dream I could remember in vivid detail. Then, BAM. Dream-a-palooza.

I think my brain is trying to punish me.

Last night I was getting my tits molded while Brad Pitt (I think it was Brad Pitt) was dry humping me from behind. I was leaning over on a table in some dive bar so my tits would fall into the molding substance and I couldn’t move, which meant I kind of had to put up with Brad’s whatever-the-hell-he-was-doing back there, but then when the mold was dry I was concerned because it had all these weird bumps and indentations and I kept trying to explain to everyone that they were air bubbles and NOT FROM MY BOOBS, because my boobs are silky smooth.

No matter what I said, however, it came off all “The lady doth protest too much, methinks” and no one would take me seriously. I was demanding that they smooth the bumps out with sandpaper before pouring the latex in, but no one cared, so I stormed off and then I was in a desert with flying elephants.

THEN, then, I walked into a room where Tom Cruise and a bunch of other men where doing something to another man, which should never ever be done to another man. Imagine if the gimp scene from Pulp Fiction was actually part of the film No Country for Old Men and you might have an inclining of what I witnessed in my dream.

I know people generally hate hearing about other people’s dreams and none of this has anything to do with this photoshoot starring Gabrielle Caunesil, but I’m the Deputy Sheriff around here and I like to think of you Peepz as my captive audience, so suck it and marvel at the crap my brain tries to process while I slumber.

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Via – Follow Lola Byrd on Twitter @misslolabyrd

  • I had a dream the other night where I was back in school and it was during lunch or something and a glass bottle started growing under my skin on the side of my face. Other than that I keep having sex dreams about this girl I follow on Twitter which is weird.

    • Shut the fuck up, a bottle growing under your skin?! That’s. So. Weird.

      • I was so pissed about it. I think it was pineapple juice.

        • I’m sticking with my – That’s. So. Weird. – answer.

  • Zach Becvar

    I haven’t had a dream I remembered in a while. In the last one I do remember I was back in the military doing my job. Everyone else was talking in a language that just sounded like gibberish to me and even though I couldn’t understand it I knew I was being left behind and the engine room turned into a giant ramp that kept getting steeper and steeper. Then I was involved in a lightsaber fight helping some Celtic Amazon warrior woman fight off a horde of zombie hipster ninjas in a rainy forest.

    If you can tell the dreams I have that I remember are quite odd.

    • Damn, that’s an interesting dream. I can’t even begin to imagine what a Celtic Amazon warrior woman looks like.

      • Zach Becvar

        In this instance, imagine a woman who looks like a cross between Gemma Arterton and Rosamund Pike with very red,wavy, slightly longer than shoulder length hair. She dressed in a tunic with a kimono style robe made out of Tartan and carrying a claymore.

        • I would watch that. I mean, if the character you just described was the protagonist in a movie/series/graphic novel… I would be all about it.

  • 受教了!呵呵!

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