Injection Found To Increase Penis Size, Reduce Bank Account

My grandma once sent me an email accusing me of having a small penis and then tried to sell me an herbal supplement to blow my shit up. I felt really bad, then weirded out before I realized her Yahoo account had succumbed to some malicious software. While I may not break any wrists while I drunkenly swing it at whomever I tricked into taking me home, I’m also not going to embarrass myself. However like most men, I can be a little insecure about the size of my junk.

These small moments of doubt are what penis enhancement products are designed to exploit. Most of these are simply “novelty products” designed to prey on the weak. Occasionally, though, some crazy bastard attempts a legitimate procedure to increase the potency of his manhood and the burden of confirming its worth falls upon science.

This is precisely what happened when someone decided to inject Restalyne, a chemical used to fill wrinkles, into people’s penises. The tissue swells due to the presence of the Restalyne, and the result is a thicker, harder dick. Now must countries are pussies and wouldn’t bother using their scientists to prove the validity of such a claim, thankfully South Korea is not one of them.

Researchers at Korea University conducted a study with this procedure and found that after 18 months, participants found an average circumference gain of 4 cm. The partners of these brave men also reported an increase in sexual fulfillment during the same time period.

So there you have it! If the size of your penis really bothers you, you can inject it with the stuff old ladies use to pull out their skin and hide wrinkles. The procedure is not permanent and expensive, so you’d have to have your wang injected on a costly regular schedule.

Personally, I would encourage anybody with such issues to simply learn to love their penis or find somebody that will. My dad once told me “there’s a saddle for every ass,” and I’m pretty sure he was talking about my bizarrely shaped and oddly colored dick.

Via LaWeekly.com

Tagged as: news, penis enlargment, Restalyne, sexnews