It’s me! Kidding. Although, if I do say so myself I have a pretty nice vagina. I’m a fan. It’s always good to be a fan of ones genitalia, so I’m all set there, but it’s not like I’ve ever entered my pussy in any sort of contest or anything. That’s where the real prove is, folks. If you want to know whether your junk is up to snuff you have to enter it into a contest.
Ladies, you’re in luck, if you want your cunt to go down in history all you have to do is head on down to Portland Oregon. The 3rd Annual Vagina Beauty Pageant was held at Portland’s Club Rouge on July 19th, 2012. You might have missed your chance this year, but there’s still next year! Plenty of time to get your vagina ready.
Miss Atlas of Golden Dragon Exotic Club, this year’s lucky winner of the vagina pageant, took home: a big ass trophy, a &700 check, a gift basket, and a hundred dollar bill the owner of Club Rouge threw at her just to make her smile. Not bad for half a night’s work.
Miss Atlas, who has been working as a stripper for 5 months, was new to the contest and wasn’t sure what to expect. In fact, she showed up totally unprepared, but the lovely ladies at Club Rouge were nice enough to lend her some underthings so she could strut her stuff on stage.
Not everyone winged it though, Portland comedian Rochelle Love-Cox had a whole shtick prepared. She might not have won the contest, but her routine sure got her noticed:
You’re eyes aren’t playing trick on you, that’s ACTUAL deli meat sticking out off the sides of Rochell’s thong. And yes, that is a lovely customer happy to lend a hand with a squirt bottle filled with mayonnaise. All in all, I’m thinking this was one hell of a fun night. Any strip club proprietors out there who want to help make this a nation wide phenomena?
Talk pussy with Lola Byrd on Twitter @misslolabyrd.