Fiona Wilde is a staff writer and commentator for sssh.com and a published author of erotic novels for Blushing Books. Fiona comes from a background as a journalist for a large daily newspaper, but moved into erotica after mainstream media could not pay enough to keep her an honest woman. Her columns can be found on sssh.com and her novels are widely available on Amazon.com.
OK. It’s confession time. 1.) I read bad fan fiction. 2.) I’ve written bad fan fiction. Once. It was about Sherlock Holmes fucking Mrs. Hudson. 3.) I sleep with my teddy bear. His name is Tubby.
And yes, I am going somewhere with this.
Fandom is a curious phenomenon. Folks get obsessed with all manner of things from books to television shows to toys. And the classic My Little Pony is huge at the moment, with whole forums devoted to MLP art and fiction.
And it’s not just little girls, who love the My Little Pony franchise. It’s guys, too. They call themselves “bronies,” – male fans of My Little Pony.
But things in Brony World can get weird. Or, should I say, weirder. Some guys see that flowing mane, long-lashes and come hither look as sexual. Where I just see a plastic pony, they see a Dirty Girl just waiting for someone to come along and spur her to a bucking orgasm…
Over at a place called DeviantArt, fans have all manner of artistic tributes to My Little Pony. And believe me, this one is tame. Reading about it made me kind of sad. Last night as I was laying in bed with Tubby, trailing my nail through the fur around his imaginary nipples and staring into his button eyes, I wondered how I would feel if I looked online and found a drawing of him getting fucked with a pink strap-on.
I’d probably feel a lot like the fiance of Twilight Sparkle. After finding a online chapel that will marry a human to his or her favorite fictional character, the poor guy – who’d taken steps to make his pony an honest mare – was aghast to find a picture on DeviantArt showing his girl taking a cum shot in the face.
Is nothing sacred?
That’s what he wanted to know. But he was cool about it. In an open letter to DeviantArt, he said he completely understood that other Bronies were going to be checking out those purple haunches and fantasizing that underneath those innocent looks is a filthy slut just begging for it.
But he says they’ve got it all wrong. First of all, she’s not the kind of girl who’d take a hot load in her face, not even if it was apple-flavored. And she damn sure wouldn’t be doing this either:
He says it’s not about jealousy. “I’m very secure in my relationship,” he writes. “I know without question that Twilight is just as faithful to me as I am to her, she’s actually on the couch next to me reading while I type this. She’s very real to me and I know she’s not sneaking out in the middle of the night to go have kinky sex with some artist.”
“Twiley” as he calls her, is a “sweet, vanilla little mare…and doesn’t deserve to be portrayed as some kind of sexual slave who likes to be dressed up in sleazy attire, wearing a collar, getting sodomized and having her face ejaculated on.”
I can’t really pass judgment here. And while I can understand the need to defend your favorite plaything’s virtue – especially when you’ve both already registered at Toys R Us – all I can say is that if Twilight Sparkle is such a good girl, what’s up with the punk hair color, the false eyelashes and the tramp stamp on her ass? Personally, I think this guy needs to bail before he gets his heart broken. It’ll be difficult, but he will find love again.
All I can say is he’d better stay away from Tubby. My guy is no slut.
Fiona Wilde is a Sssh.com columnist and Sssh will be on Peeperz for fun times again in the near future, meanwhile why not check us out: