My Pussy Enjoys A Good Twerk

by alpha harlot on February 11, 2013

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I’m not really a fantastic dancer. I’m decent, it’s not that I make an ass out of myself when there’s a groove happening. I just wish that I could make my ass work like the girls in music videos.

Lately, I’ve been slightly obsessed with twerking. It’s this dance where you make your ass bounce like a million miles an hour and grind it all over whoever you happen to be dancing with. It’s kind of like having sex with clothes on….that’s probably why I like watching it so much.

Here’s pornstar Jada Stevens doing some twerking to warm up for a hard fucking:

Jada Stevens twerks her oiled up booty on camera brought to you by PornHub

And here’s the video for the song Twerk by Lady. The song is two years old, but I never really get tired of watching the chick with all the tattoos.

Interestingly enough that chick Lady singing the song never twerks in the video. Maybe she twerks as well as I do.

Twerk Team has a whole fuckton of videos up on YouTube. These chicks are popping splits and making their asses bounce like crazy.

My favorite twerk move is the hand stand, feet against the wall bootie popping thing. Super hot.

You read Rick Roday’s write up about Carly Crunk Bear right? In January, a Denver, Colorado high school math teacher was fired when some students and then administrators discovered pictures of her acting all sexy, including some pics of her crunk twerking after hours. I sound hip when I write sentences like that, right?

Carly McKinney went by the name of @Crunk_Bear on twitter and posted up a few pictures of herself blazing herb, posing sexy and doing a topless handstand.

carlycrunkbeartwerkIsn’t the curve of her ass cheeks into her pussy sexy? My high school math teachers didn’t look like that at all. I would have done much better in math class if they had. Anyway, Carly got put on “administrative leave,” for posting up the pictures of herself on her twitter account.

I think it’s a little bit presumptuous to think that teachers aren’t sexy/sexual beings. One of my best friends online is a super sexy teacher who loves being a filthy dirty slut when she’s fucking her husband.I’m an Accountant during the day. Why would it matter to my boss that I fuck myself all over XTube and write about smutty stuff? My work gets done, I have my hobbies at night same as everyone else.Same with this Crunk Bear chick. She liked to dance and party.

What a person does when they’re off the clock is nobody’s business. I wish that society would take the stick out of it’s ass and drop the puritan values. She’s hot…let her teach.I bet her students will never forget what she taught them now.

I’m going to keep practicing my ass shaking. I’m determined.

twerkinggif

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Leonard-Taylor/100000998640068 Leonard Taylor

    my girlfriend has told me its all in the thighs, if you can learn how to shake your thighs you can learn to twerk.

    • http://twitter.com/AlphaHarlot Alpha Harlot

      Thanks!! I’ll try less ass more thighs later tonight when I get home

  • r0ck3r

    A teacher is (or should be) a role model. I understand how Crunk Bear was put on administrative leave; the parents disagree with her actions and the parents control the school board, and therefore Crunk Bear’s future as a teacher. The situation is similar to people serving in the United States military; if you disgrace the branch, you won’t be in the military very long. Social media has blurred the lines between public and private lives.

    • http://twitter.com/AlphaHarlot Alpha Harlot

      Your right when you said that social media blurred the lines between public and private
      You can be a responsible sexualized being and still be a role model to people. I don’t think that posting naked pictures “disgraces” you or your good name. Private lives are private, no?
      This Carly chick is totally loving all the attention she’s getting from posting the pictures…though she’ll never ever be able to teach again I don’t think she should be shunned from society or anything.
      I’m currently sitting in my cubicle at my day job. I’m supposed to be crunching numbers but instead I’m on Peeperz perving out. It doesn’t make me a bad Accountant, possibly a poor worker with Internet ADD but certainly not a bad person.
      Would I get fired if my boss saw Lola’s clit all up on my screen when she passed by my desk? Most likely…there’s a time and a place for everything and that’s why I keep my browser small and try as hard as I can to just keep words in the window.
      Carly didn’t post the pictures of herself crunking in the school bathroom or blazing behind the gym. She was on her own time.

      Same thing for politicians.
      It’s naive to think that guys like Anthony Weiner aren’t everywhere.
      Perverts (and sex workers for that matter) are people too.
      We’re role models and upstanding citizens.
      I can’t wait until we’re treated that way.
      *jumps off soap box*

      • r0ck3r

        Batman would be proud (if he wasn’t a fictional character); a professional by day and something completely different by night. Since I most likely have (undiagnosed) ADD I have to organize my rebuttal or else it comes out looking like a jumbled mess.

        1a.) “You can be a responsible, sexual, being and still be a role model.”
        Correct. Sex is a part of life. Without sex, we (life in general) wouldn’t exist. I doubt humanity would need role models if it didn’t exist.

        1b.) “I don’t think that posting naked pictures “disgraces” you or your good name.”

        This is an opinion; it’s valid, possibly correct. Perhaps I used the wrong word, “disgrace” doesn’t seem to fit. I believe people should be proud of their bodies, of themselves, so I most likely misspoke.

        1c.) “Private lives are private.”

        By definition, correct. The underlying problem would be that private lives can be accessed publicly. If you could post something on Twitter that ceased to exist from the “nine to five” it would be different, but that isn’t the case, not yet at least.

        • http://twitter.com/AlphaHarlot Alpha Harlot

          I have a theory about fb and how it ruined the Internet.
          Before that site existed, the likelihood of getting tagged as your Internet persona IRL was super slim.
          All of a sudden, everyone in the universe discovered how cool the Internet was and they jumped on board. The world got much more small.
          We live in a prudish puritanical society and it ticks me off. People are way too judgmental to handle being open.
          It stinks.
          There are brief snippets of time where people are accepting, like last year with that whole 50 shades boom. Inevitably though, society resorts back to it’s puritanical way of thinking.

          • r0ck3r

            Your theory has valid points about how it ruined the internet. I agree with your argument about the likelihood of being tagged, it does make the world seem small(er). I will also agree that America does seem like a prudish society, I think that it does need more sex, I know that I would personally enjoy more sex over less sex.
            I will ask (because I really like to argue) “Did Facebook ruin the internet or did people ruin the internet?” Personally I think that people want knowledge to such a degree that Facebook was simply a byproduct. People wanted to know what all their friends did, are doing, or are going to do, and I feel that because of that fact, there was a knowledge overload that makes it seem like privacy was thrown out the window to make room.
            I will also question the statement of the “ruined” internet. Is the internet ruined? Yes, the internet has become a more invasive, dominating, thing, but I think some people enjoy that. I don’t believe the internet is ruined, I get to have intelligent conversations/arguments when I would otherwise be incapable of doing so. I can connect with people I would not otherwise see or even meet. More things are possible with the internet than with any other media outlet (in my opinion) I like that.

          • http://twitter.com/AlphaHarlot Alpha Harlot

            I will answer…because I love a good debate ;) and also because you’re polite and awesome. lol I’m going to agree with most of what you said though.
            The parts of the internet that I hang out on (peeperz, xtube, etc) aren’t ruined for me…if they were, I wouldn’t hang out there…I would find other places that a mass populous of members haven’t yet devoured. When things get too big, I get tired of them (much like cocks I think. Is a guy with a monster cock impressive? yes, sure…but where is that going to fit in my body? If I can’t deepthroat it or do any of my patented cock tricks, then all I’m going to do is lay there and fuck to the best of my ability).
            It’s definitely people who do the ruining. Internet empires rise and rise and rise…and then they slowly decline. crazy addicting flash games are what is saving fb…and also, as you said, the fact that people are fucking nosy as hell by nature and enjoy being all up in each other’s business.

            I’ll rephrase my previous statement by saying that Internet dating/meeting up with people specifically has been slightly ruined by the massive amounts of people that are just starting out at the game getting involved…that’s the main reason behind my exaggerated statement of the internet as a whole being ruined.

            I’m just bitter ;)

          • r0ck3r

            :) Thank you. I do enjoy being called awesome.

            Bitter (by definition) meaning cynicism or negative emotion (wiki). Yes, I would call you bitter, but that doesn’t make you any less correct. It’s your opinion; opinions are never TRULY wrong.

            Since I started talking about opinions, I might as well touch on your subject of penises (I think that’s the correct plural). I believe size matters… to a degree. Too small and your partner won’t be stimulated enough; too large and it can be awkward and possibly painful. I believe what matters most in a relationship is a person’s mind. Humor: from the mind. Compassion: from the mind. Lust/Love: from the mind. The mind (brain) is always more satisfying, and when you want to nitpick on size: the brain’s bigger. I just don’t think a lot of people have figured that out… yet.

            As far as me being polite :) I figure rude people only get to talk to people once. If I’m rude, I won’t get to debate, I won’t get to talk, it’d be boring.

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