I know I’m a pervert and everything, but I think it would be awesome if we could all just walk around naked all the time, my morning routine could be cut down by at least a half hour if all I had to do was figure out what socks and shoes to wear.
I’d also be hella soaked all the time staring at all of the boobies and dicks. I’m sure my sunscreen budget would more then double, but that’s a small price to pay for being free to be naked.
The only naked people that I ever read about in the news are going through some kind of a crazy period in their lives. I was flipping through my grandfather’s newspaper (remember those things?) at dinner the other day and I saw a picture of a naked dude standing on top of an SUV in the middle of an intersection. He looked like he was playing king of the mountain and declaring victory, it was the type of picture that makes me stop and take a minute or two to read the article.
The man’s name is John Brigham. He’s a 45 year old Arizona man who had a bit of a tweak attack when he “allegedly” drove his own car into a Porsche. He was probably so worried about his car insurance going up that he decided to go for an insanity defense and then couldn’t reign himself back in. Right after he hit the Porsche, Brigham got out of the car and ripped all his clothes off and then car jacked some lady in a Prius.
I’d say that was probably the best choice of vehicle to choose when a police chase is inevitable. Sure the Porsche would have been flashier but with the Prius, you could drive for miles and miles without having to even think about stopping for gas. Brigham didn’t get that far though.
A few miles away he got into a second accident and when he tried to steal another car with his wang dangle waving in the wind, everyone locked their doors and he was unable to commandeer another vehicle before the police arrived and arrested him. Seven people were injured in the accidents caused by the naked man.
Here’s a video of the actual arrest:
I hope that pavement wasn’t too hot. Even if he was a crazy guy, cock cooking on the pavement seems like a bad idea to me.