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The world is a pretty strange place. Just in the past week, Switzerland introduced “sex boxes:” legal prostitution drive-ins that put our fast food drive-thru technology to shame. In Australia, Reverard Fred Niles – one of their top anti-porn legislators, who claimed to have never seen pornography – had some explaining to do when it was revealed his office had accessed over 200,000 porn sites. And in Russia, the 8th annual Bubble Baba Challenge took place, which saw 500 people racing down a river riding inflatable sex dolls. Hey, it’s still more of a sport than NASCAR.
So what better way to honor our foreign friends by this week’s Obscure Sex Act: Invading Poland. It’s not only a salute to our crazy neighbors, but to the 40′s as well, where life was a little slower, sexism was cool, and porn was only available in the lingerie sections of department store magazines. Good times.
Obscure Sexual Act: Invading Poland
Urban Dictionary Defines it As: “A sexual act, where a man gets a running start (preferable 10-15 yards in advance), and dives onto his woman partner, hoping to land in her taco..Invading Poland is usually a mutual activity but don’t be afraid to pursue an ambush. ”
Creativity: A little history here: the original Polish Invasion was pretty damn easy, as far as country invasions go. And according to knowledge I just learned on Wikipedia, the original Polish Invasion was actually conducted by two countries, Germany and the Soviet Union. History FAIL. Although some points are deserved for a creative act that doesn’t involve bodily functions. VERDICT: 2 girls
Sexual Appeal: No academic studies have been conducted yet on the success rate of a bulls-eye. As a man who takes six or seven tries to find the right spot when he’s fifteen beers deep, I’d say slim to none. If you can pull this off, more power to you. VERDICT: 1 girls
Sheer Disgustingness: I’m pretty sure there was a version of this in Bruno, except it involved a bungee cord and a rolling desk chair. However, on the hole (no pun intended) this sounds pretty awesome. VERDICT: 1 girl
FINAL TALLY: 5 girls/cups.
If this week’s OSA fails to win your girlfriends heart/results in a restraining order, you’re not alone. Invading Poland hasn’t worked out for some others either. Too soon?
