Have you seen it yet? Have you seen Orlando Bloom’s dick? It’s all over the internet!
While vacationing in Italy with girlfriend Katy Perry, Orlando Bloom decided to take his swim trunks off while going for a ride on a paddle board. His dick has got a lot of people really riled up. Celebrity peen is exciting, because we rarely see it. If it weren’t for these paparazzi pictures, I would think Orlando’s bloom was a myth just like the Loch Ness monster.
Unlike Nessy, Orlando’s peen is not shy when it comes to cameras and it’s existence can be verified by ex-wife Miranda Kerr. Not only is Oralndo’s dick very real, but it’s apparent that the actor is a fan of laser hair removal. I don’t know many 40-year-old men with so little body hair. While he was at it, he should have lasered off that shitty sun tattoo.
I’m not a prude when it comes to public nudity. I’ve done my fair share of changing in public – usually when putting on my bathing suit at the beach, but also when trying on clothes in stores where the line for the changing room is way too long – and I’m not one to judge someone who decides to go butt naked for the hell of it, but I can’t possibly imagine that paddle boarding is very comfortable in the buff.
The surface on those things is either hard plastic or covered in some sort of gritty anti-slip material… add that to sweaty skin and your in for an uncomfortable ride, especially if you’re sitting on your ass. I don’t even want to know what it would be like to add balls to the mix. Nope, nude paddle boarding is for standing only.
Katy Perry in a bikini:
Orlando Bloom’s dick: