Let’s face it, some guys are trigger happy when it comes to sex. It’s happened to me and I’m sure it’s happened to a lot of other girls; there you are having fun, anticipating the sex marathon you’re about to have, and it’s over in a minute.
I can’t speak for everyone, but every time I’ve been with a dude who came too fast and way too soon I’ve usually taken it as a compliment. As in, I’m so good and I’m so hot that he just couldn’t contain himself.
The problem with premature ejaculation is that most dudes feel so embarrassed when it happens that it totally kills the mood. No matter how many times you tell them that it’s actually flattering, PE is the point of no return.
Case and point, I hooked up with a guy from a dating site for some casual fun a few years ago and he came a few minutes into our adventure. I got a kick out of it, because his dick wasn’t even being touched at the time. He came watching me playing with myself.
I thought it was kind of hot, but he was so embarrassed that it meant the end of our play date. In my mind, I couldn’t see why we had to stop playing just because he came. There were plenty of things for us left to do: he could have gone down on me, we could have made out some more until he was up for some more direct contact, he could have fingered me, hell, he could have taken one of the many vibrators I had in my bedside table and fucked the shit out me, but nope he felt totally inadequate and put his clothes back on.
Now, that’s the part that pissed me off. Playtime wasn’t over just because he had cum all over my freshly laundered sheets. Had he not been ashamed we could have had so much more fun. Instead, I ended up making tea and chatting with him for an hour about his ex girlfriend. Sounds like a date from hell, right? Not really, I was hoping he would eventually be ready for action again, but nope the shame kept eating away at him and we never had another go.
And that, folks, is it in a nutshell; a new study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior studied both the men who suffer from premature ejaculation and their sexual partners. As it turns out, women really mean it when they say “No, honey, it really is OK.” It’s men who feel the burden of shame whereas most women don’t really give a damn.
The problem arises when the men with PE feel so much shame that they retreat from possible sexual encounters preferring to avoid the whole thing all together.
Personally, I think that if men didn’t feel so much pressure when it comes to sexual performance they would treat PE as a minor problem (which it is) and would therefor be more willing to seek out methods to increase the duration of their fuckmaking, you know, like Kegels (there’s a dude version), or at the very least they wouldn’t lose all their mojo after they cum and just keep on trucking.
Lola Byrd is always trigger happy on Twitter @misslolabyrd.