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Hi, my name is Camille Crimson and I’m a full time porn model and webmaster. I spend my days doing gorgeous, entertaining, and arousing, photo and video shoots for my various sites. Basically, I deal with the subversive yet natural subject that we all love: sex. Here on Peeperz I have this new feature where you can ask me…anything! Here’s my first q & a:
I’m young guy who has been having sex for a couple of years now. I get nervous about certain things like hockey games, important exams and for some reason, sex. Ever since my childhood I’ve become nauseous whenever I get nervous, which does not help one bit when dealing with the situation I’m about to describe to you.
My girlfriend turns me on, but sometimes when we go to have sex, my dick goes limp despite how badly I want to fuck her. Sometimes it’s right when I put the condom on, sometimes it’s when I’m about to enter her, or sometimes it just kind of happens in the middle, this is usually when I’m on top. Some positions are better than others, but it’s a stressful situation. I can masturbate, get head, and have a strong erection during foreplay, but I think my nerves are getting the best of me more often than I’d like to admit when it comes to sex.
I try to relax, have her give me head to get it back up, etc. but it doesn’t always work, leaving me feeling inadequate. She says she does not mind, and I believe her, but it has done some serious damage to my sexual ego. I’ve acquired some viagra and have only used once or twice, and I got the desired results. I don’t want to start depending on that so early in my life, and I was wondering if you have any advice or have helped a guy get through something like this before? I know it’s my head getting to me, I’m a healthy, athletic kid and definitely don’t have ED. I just need to find a way to get my big brain to take the backseat and let the little brain do what it needs to do.
This is a very common problem to varying degrees among men. The fact is, you can get an erection just fine, but your anxiety is keeping you from maintaining it, so it all comes back to the mind.
One thing you can do is try to minimize the emphasis on being hard.
You and your girlfriend can both receive tons of pleasure from all sorts of different sex acts. We’re conditioned to think that penetrative sex is the be all and end all and that it needs to be hard and fast. Generally speaking, a lot of the anxiety that men experience surrounding sex is the need to be “good in bed”, calling all of this conditioning into play.
To start undoing this mindset, get creative with your girlfriend and find ways to play with each other. It can be incredibly arousing to give your girlfriend pleasure in other ways, so go down on her, learn the perfect way to play with her clit, find her g-spot and coax her to a new kind of orgasm… Maybe get some sex toys or massage oil and find all sorts of ways of incorporating them into your sexual experience. Find ways to enjoy your sex life without the pressure of maintaining an erection and then it will feel like less of a big deal and maintaining erections will likely be easier.
Depending on how stressful you find sex in general, it might even be a good idea to take most sex off the table and stick to making out for a while. It’s a good way to get in tune with yourself and your girlfriend and you will definitely find yourself craving more. With both the non-penetrative sex approach and the making out-only approach, this doesn’t have to be a one shot deal. You can make non-penetrative sex the focus of your sex life and only bring in penetrative sex when it’s something that you both feel ready for.
Another thing I would certainly suggest if you find that you’re still having trouble separating from your sexual ego would be to talk to a therapist. I know that going to a therapist, especially about something of a sexual nature, can be daunting, but it’s often a really good way to alleviate anxiety. Seeing as you have other issues which cause you anxiety, a therapist would be able to help you find strategies to deal with these feelings and help you overcome them in a way that’s personally tailored to your situation and would be much more long-lasting than a Viagra.
All the best,
Camille
Camille Crimson is the the geeky, curvy, blowjob-loving redhead responsible for TheArtofBlowjob.com You can read more at her blog – CamilleCrimson.com. See some of her work in the video below:
Camille Crimson – The Art of Blowjob – Drop of Whisper brought to you by PornHub
