San Diego is a unique part of the country. If not for the billions of dollars that entered what was just a military town before the Cold War, the entire county would be little more than farm land and truck stops. Thanks to unmetered military spending and the fear of communists, however, San Dee-ah-go has become a sprawling metropolis that retains a small-town feel.
It’s the kind of city where neighborhoods have a sense of community, but nobody actually talks to their neighbors. You really just want to know their faces so you know who to accost when an Amazon package goes missing.
History lessons aside, San Diego is most famous for its amazing weather and year-round outdoor activities. Unfortunately one man may have taken this a little too far.
Late last year a security guard at San Diego’s Qualcomm Stadium was vigorously fondling himself while watching cheerleaders perform at Chargers game. The man would have gotten away with this brazen act of public pocket pool if it hadn’t been for the thousands of fans at the game, one of whom recorded a video that quickly went viral. Whoops.
The man was an employee of San Diego’s Elite Security- a crack team of ham-fisted men and women who use every bit of their two-and-a-half years of high school education to be human barricades at nearly every major event in the city.
He was filmed standing just a few feet from cheerleaders, who were performing during pre-game festivities, with his hand in his pants clearly fondling his genitals. It’s such a fragrant and lewd act that it’s almost impossible to make fun of it. Almost.
Due to legal reasons we can’t show you the video of a crime that’s still under investigation, but you can probably find it on news sites with better journalism privileges than a porn blog.
After the video was posted and everyone was both shocked and amused, the reality set in that someone should probably do something about this sex offender. Thanks to some prompting and media attention from the woman who filmed the video, Elite Security fired the masturbator and turned over his information to the police who haven’t made any arrests, but turned the case over to district attorneys.
Hopefully no Charger Girls were harmed or harassed during this man’s reign of hostile onanism and something is done to protect them next season in Los Angeles, Nevada, or wherever it is the Chargers end up next season.
Image: Ashley Adams in Fucking With Security by Brazzers