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It’s not like the hit HBO show True Blood needs more sex (then again everything could always use a little more sex), but seriously have you seen the show? I think Caligula had less sex and violence.
I missed the last two episodes, because my DVR fucked up on me, so unless it’s already happened, I can’t wait for Pam and Tara to get it on. Oh boy, they make one hot vampire pair. And although I enjoyed the Alcide pseudo-wolfed out sex with his second in command, I’d really like to finally see him hook-up with Sookie. The episode where she pukes on him doesn’t count.
What I really really want though, is more Eric and Sookie action. It’s all about the Northman. Last season was hot hot hot.
Until my DVR gets its ass running properly again, I’ll have to get my True Blood fix from these sexed up, yet oddball, ads from Auckland, New Zealand. It’s a wooden penis, get it? Cause when those sexy as all hell vamps stake you, it’s with a different kind of wood. The kind that hurts so good, without actually killing you. Unless, the sex is so good you die of a heart attack or something.
I wonder if a vamp fucks a chick while she’s on her period would he lose all control and just bite the shit out of her or would he just go down on her for five long and incredibly fun days?
Yeah, yeah, I know vampires aren’t real, but if you’d like to pretend, you could always try to get your hands on one of these “bitten” sex dolls:
Just pop in a pair of plastic vampire teeth and pretend this plastic babe is Sookie. Just don’t get carried away, because if you bite too hard you might just deflate your new favorite toy.
Lola Byrd is always looking for good vampire movie suggestions on Twitter @misslolabyrd.
Via buzzfeed.com
