She Hates Balls, Not Me

by Alpha Harlot on September 13, 2012

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I love balls. Cocks and pussies are totally awesome to play too but I definitely love testicles way more. I’m thinking I’m so fascinated with them because I can never have them…I mean, I can throw on my strap and pretend to have a cock like the sexy ladies in the Position of the Week series and fuck the lights out of any hole that crosses my path. You can’t really do it with balls though.

I’m a toucher. Not really clingy in the sense that I want to be your one and only after a few hours, I just have a really hard time keeping my hands to myself when balls are concerned. When we’re just sitting on the couch chilling out and watching a movie, my hands are gently touching your balls.

If you’re driving the car and I’m sitting shotgun, my hands are on your balls…unless there’s crazy traffic then I keep my hands to myself because I don’t want to die. That was a lesson I learned the hard way. Some guys I’ve fucked say that I don’t pay enough attention to what they’re talking about because I’ve got my hands all over their nuts and I’m mesmerized. I usually tell those guys to stop talking and enjoy my fondling.

My love of goo filled globes is why I was so totally disturbed when I came across this video featuring blonde Knocked Up/Grey’s Anatomy sex pot Katherine Heigl talking about how much she hates balls. In one part of the video promoting she’s promoting her website IHateBalls.com (how could you even own that domain!?! It makes my heart hurt) she states “I don’t hate men, I don’t even hate penises…but you listen to me crotch plums. Katherine Heigl is coming for you, and you better watch out…because when I rule the world? Snip Snip,” It’s fucking TERRIFYING to hear about how she wants to murder the poor pussy slappers.

I’m not sure how anyone could hate balls as much as Katherine Heigel does. You just won’t catch me promoting the detachment of man melons…even if spaying and neutering your pet is a good idea.

Via FunnyOrDie.com

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