Whether you’ve got to groggily grab a quick shower and breakfast before the daily 9-to-5, or you’re a college student finishing up an all-night cram session, or you’ve just experienced the dreaded early wakeup after a long night of drinking, it’s safe to say most of us aren’t fans of the crack of dawn.
Like with most things in your life, Peeperz understands. That’s why next week we’re introducing a new morning column we’ve coined the “Morning Jerk Before Work.” For those of you who’ve exhausted the potential of the Evening Masturbation Roll from the night before, the Morning Jerk will provide a jolt of energy that Starbucks just can’t match.
Every morning, we’ll run a short bio on a different pornstar. It’s a chance to learn the porn industry through and through, but that won’t matter too much when we’ve got a big, glossy photo of some titties and a high-quality PornHub video to back it up. Consider it early relief for what’s sure to be a stressful day. Look forward to the 6th: it’s the first Monday of the rest of your life.