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Unless you live in a pineapple under the sea you are probably aware that Tiger Woods cheated on his wife. As a result of his infidelity his wife Elin Nordegren was awarded $100 million in the divorce settlement. Or as I prefer to say it ONE-HUNNED-MILLION-DOLLARZ!!! Experts also loosely refer to this as “a lot of fucking money.”
Do you know how many extra value meals that can buy? Approximately $100 million!
When I observe situations like this it only reinforces that I am clearly sleeping with the wrong people. Never has sleeping with someone netted me millions of dollars. It rarely even nets me an extra value meal. WTF!
In total Tiger slept with 17 women outside of his marriage. Porn star Melinda Jannette (aka Devon James) even claims to have captured a Tiger cub from her expeditions into Tiger’s woods.
According to my calculations with adjustments for inflation that is roughly $6 million dollars per mistress. As I imagine is often said to breeders of the world’s most expensive housecat, the Ashera, that is some expensive ass pussy! I’m no expert on the subject but I’m thinking that is Guinness Book expensive pussy. That damn Tiger, even during the lowest moment of his career he is still breaking records.
Fortunately for Tiger fans and haters alike all hope is not lost. From this incident one of Tiger Woods’ other mistresses, the porn star MILF known as Joslyn James was inspired to make a porno motivated by their rendezvous and sponsored by Vivid. I was hoping the title would have been “The 19th Hole.” Mainly because I thought of this title and I wanted them to use it so I could sue and work out some kind of royalties deal. Even though I probably would have cracked during negotiations and ended up settling for a threesome and a cameo in an upcoming Vivid video. Hey, I can dream!
I’ve never been a patient man so in my eagerness I pulled up a past Joslyn James video. It has nothing to do with golf but plenty of holes get filled and she certainly shows us an impressive stroke down the back nine as she handles two clubs with no caddie.
Don’t act like you’re not impressed.
Joslyn James hardcore double penetration brought to you by PornHub
