Texas

Texas Company Releases, Immediately Recalls Viagra Coffee

August 7, 2017
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I remember seeing an interview with Ernest Borgnine where he explained his secret to staying lively well into his 90s. After beating around the bush for a minute he finally leaned in and whispered to the host that me masturbates regularly. The quiet response was captured on his microphone and everyone on the show had […]

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Houston Strip Clubs To Be Completely Topless Once Again!

June 4, 2017
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The way people in the United States make fun of Texas is the way Texans make fun of Houston. It’s a weird city with a bunch of weird laws, but the one we’re concerned about now has to do with nipples. While Houston has an impressive number of strip clubs, it’s illegal for dancers to […]

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Mending and Fucking Fences

March 11, 2017
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I walked into work on Monday morning and the guy who shares my office was laughing hysterically and leaning back in his chair. My coffee cup was still full, so I didn’t feel much like engaging. When he spun himself around to face me, begging to have a conversation, I took the bait. “What’s so […]

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Texas’ “Redneck Heaven” Under Fire For Exposed Boobs

March 1, 2017
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The most important component of any restaurant experience is the charming waitress. A little bit of sass and witty conversation can go a long way towards a better night for me and a larger tip for the service. While some may leave a couple of dollars as a pity-tip for the introverted, homely waiters and […]

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Best Present Ever, But Not For Her

January 10, 2017
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Did you Peepz get any presents while you were celebrating or not celebrating this holiday season? I gave my wife a Pure Wand. She cried when she opened it and she cried when she came with it the first time. It was probably the best present ever. Then I started reading about odd presents that […]

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Texas Man Stiffs Bill, Dies After Night Of Lap Dances

December 18, 2016
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Strip clubs are amazing. The clashing of cheap cologne and a dozen different types of body spray combined with the colored lights and loud music create a sensory symphony that resonates with the soul. Plus nude women serve you liquor and they’re really nice to you so long as you have a pocket full of […]

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Reporter Moonlighting as ‘Angry Stripper’ Has Been Fired

December 13, 2016
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The Diary of an Angry Stripper is a blog maintained by Sarah Tressler wherein she talks about the knuckleheads, bizarre fetishes, and humorous circumstances she encounters while performing as an erotic dancer. Sarah started dancing in college while she studied towards a master’s degree in Journalism at NYU. She gained some notoriety when it became […]

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No More Porn For Texas Prisoners

December 6, 2016
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How the rest of the world views the United States is how the rest of the United States views Texas. The tits are huge, the sun is angry, and the justice is swift. Texas’ #1 export is legally killed corpses. If there were ever a state I would absolutely refuse to commit a crime in, […]

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I’m Really Digging Ashley Smith & Her Sweet Tits This Week!

October 28, 2016
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Ashley Smith is Playboy‘s Miss November and that makes me a happy puppy. (I don’t know why I’m a puppy in this scenario… just go with it.) The photographs, taken by Zoey Grossman, have that ’70s vibe to them that has been so popular over the last couple years. It’s that diffused outdoor light, the […]

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Pastor & His Wife Encourage Sex For Jesus

February 6, 2016
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You might not be able to tell, but I am actually pretty religious. I occasionally go to church and when I do I am perfectly groomed and well behaved. The purpose of all this is to get laid. You see, I am 28 years old, and 28 divided by 2 plus 7 is 21. I […]

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