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The Only Sexy Lap Dance Tricks You’ll Ever Need!

February 22, 2017
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Valentine’s Day has come and gone, but that doesn’t mean that you have to stop giving your man lap dances. Yes, that’s right. I said “your man,” it could be “your woman” or “your person of fluid gender” it doesn’t really matter. What matters here is that that person is “yours” and that you calls […]

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Fap Along With Harlot: Bright Yellow Like the Sunshine

February 11, 2017
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The weather in Jersey is gloomy and I’m tired of it. I’m presently sitting at my desk in the office trying to think of some work for my fingers to do other than type, so I figured I’d pull out my laptop and get a little bit of work done with you Peepz. Know what’s […]

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Monday Morning Jerk Before Work: Have You Met Gina Valentina?

February 6, 2017
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Gina Valentina is a petite pornstar of Latin descent. According to online info I’ve been able to gather, she’s apparently from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. I don’t know how accurate this info is, but I buy it. I mean, clearly she’s also American (?), but saying a pornstar is from Brazil sounds more exotic, which […]

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Hump Day, GIF Day: Jenna Sativa Gets You Through The Week

January 25, 2017
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Jenna Sativa won the 2017 AVN Award for All-Girl Performer of the Year, which by the by I totally predicted when the nominations came out. It seems like Jenna has been everywhere I turn in the last couple months and I don’t mind. I don’t mind at all. According to Jenna the best thing about […]

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Spatchcocking Isn’t Dirty…Or Is It?

January 21, 2017
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I had some quality BFF time over the weekend. We ate some Thai food and talked about our respective recent perverse activities. I was on my way home when he sent me a text that read, “I know you’re not going to want to click this link, but please click this link.” He knows I’ll […]

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GIF Day: Samantha Bentley Gets You Through The Week

January 18, 2017
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Samantha Bentley is one of those people that look really different from scene to scene or depending on whether you’re looking at a moving picture or a still. For some of these GIFs I wasn’t even sure if it was the same person. There was one or two GIFs I didn’t post, because of that […]

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Monday Morning Jerk Before Work: Have You Met Ingrid Mouth?

January 16, 2017
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I came across Ingrid Mouth when I was looking through GIFs of Lily Cade. I noticed this girl with wild curly hair and I had to know who she was. Luckily, the GIF in question was properly labelled and I didn’t have to look too far. She’s a model, a porn star, and an illustrator. […]

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Hump Day, GIF Day: Lily Cade Gets Your Through The Week

January 11, 2017
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Lily Cade is a goddamn national treasure and as such there are not enough porny GIFs showing off her luscious tush on the internet. What gives? Where are all the technologically inclined degenerates? Hell, I would do it myself, but I don’t know how to GIF. Okay. There. I admitted it. I don’t know how […]

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Tommy Pistol Answers The Bernard Pivot Questionnaire!

January 10, 2017
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In an alternate reality Tommy Pistol and I are best friends… we hang out, watch movies, and frequently go eat breakfast in the middle of the afternoon. That’s why I’m pretty stoked that he actually took the time to answer my Twitter DM. I had this brilliant totally originale idea (Ha!) to do a series […]

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Kylie Jenner In Sasha Samsonova Video For The Family Fortune

January 9, 2017
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Sasha Samsonova makes sexy videos. Kylie Jenner spends her life trying to be sexy. It only makes sense that the two would team up for a sexy video. It’s basically the Kim Kardashian and Ray J sex tape without the actual sex… or much of anything really, but you know that Kylie is Kim 2.0. […]

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