Tanning Mom Finally Gets Her Big Break Into Porn

by Lola Byrd on May 15, 2013

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The execs over at Vivid must not be aware of Tanning Mom’s Internet success as a GIF and meme. Did they even listen to her hot new dance single – “You all are losers. I’m sexier than the Teen Mom. I am cool. I’m the cool one” – before they turned her down and refused to offer her a role in their next blockbuster porno.

Watching what’s-her-face Teen Mom star in her very own seXXX tape was dreadful enough – sort of like combining the fine art of watching paint dry and chewing on ground up glass – but I’m aware not everyone has my fine discerning taste and I’m all for giving the public what they want, which is why I think Vivid was insane for not casting Patty K as their next MILF toast. Tanning Mom. MILF toast. Get it?!

It would have been crack for your eyes; highly addictive,  impossible not to watch, and just as bad for you, just like every reality TV show ever invented. Basically, an instant hit! People would have talked, and tweeted, and written blog posts (just like this one) about it. Late Night comedy monologue gold, I tell ya.

Lucas Entertainment, however, wasn’t blind to Tanning Mom’s earning potential. They offered Patty her first big break into gay porn with a cameo role in the latest installment of  their gay porn series Kings of New York. Unfortunately, lady K won’t be the toast of nekkid town, yet, as she is rumored to be fully clothed in this particular porno.

Sigh. It’s been a bad week in sex town. First Angelina Jolie decides to have a breasts removed, which was totally her choice and good on her and all, but still… Sadness. And now, the news that Patty K will be in a porno, but without nudity. Double sadness.

Via thefrisky.com – Follow Lola Byrd on Twitter @misslolabyrd!

  • Robonino123

    Let’s just make a Tan Mom Courtney Stodden lesbian sex tape and be done with it.

    • BuckyBeall

      someone listen to this man, he has the best idea in porn

      • Robonino123

        I’m looking for work if anyone wants to make an offer.

    • https://twitter.com/#!/misslolabyrd Lola Byrd

      Holy shit, you hit it right on the nail.

  • BDY

    How’d you miss the story about the Teen mom buying a pregnancy test and James Deen blasting her for the stunt?

    • https://twitter.com/#!/misslolabyrd Lola Byrd

      Damn, I have no idea. Where’d you read about it?

  • C.J. Brown

    you can’t have it all …. or Amanda Bynes would be paying off her expensive legal bills starring in a bukkake porn video (finally, another actress that makes Lindsey Lohan look innocent) and looking less like a skank tweeting that some rap star needs to wreck her va-jay-jay

  • Pingback: Behind The Scenes Look At Tanning Mom’s Porn Bebut()

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