While punching random words into Google earlier today I came across the sad profile of 44 year old Kim Ramsay of New Jersey written up in my fave pretend newspaper/right trashy tabloid The Daily Mail. And what makes the story of Miss Ramsay so tragic?
She’s suffering from a disorder known as P.G.A.D (Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder) and it’s causing her to experience up to one hundred orgasms a day.
Yes, it sounds awesome, I know but it’s made her life hell. Back in 2001 she slipped on the stairs and doctors think she hurt her spine in an unique way that’s messed up how her nervous system controls arousal and climax, now the slightest pelvic movement or stimulation can make her cum. She has trouble taking public transit, cleaning, working, basically most daily tasks and because the condition is so rare medical experts have been at loss to help her. Here’s a quote about a particularly bad spell brought on by having sex with her boyfriend at the time:
“I had constant orgasms for four days. I thought I was going mad. We tried everything to make it stop. Squats, deep breathing, I even sat on frozen peas but the orgasms and sexual arousal continued for 36 hours – I must have had around 200 orgasms during that period. The pain and exhaustion was excruciating.”
Okay Kim Ramsay, the doctors can’t help you but I, Buckland Beall, have your cure: no woman has ever orgasmed when I’ve made fuck to them, in fact they’ve all told me I left their pussies cold, numb, and smelling faintly of rotting meat. As a charitable act I will sleep with you, if that doesn’t stop you from orgasming, nothing will. Email me Kim, I’m here to help.