5 Things Not To Shove Up Your Ass And 3 You Can

by Joy Topaz on July 5, 2010

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It’s amazing what limits people can push their bodies to. Think of Olympic athletes, pornstars and that dude who shoved an aerosol can up his ass. As humans we always need to test, to see what the boundaries are. Some just aren’t so good at it. Let’s take a look at things one should never shove up their ass. Then we’ll look at things we can shove up our ass.

Pepsi Bottle
A 60 year old man in Pakistan checked into a hospital with a Pepsi bottle shoved up his rectum. He claimed that two thieves had put it there and then stole two of his buffalo.

A Firearm
GunCriminal mastermind Tirisa Ruiz tried to smuggle a gun into a Bogota prison. Ruiz believed she could get past security if she shoved it as deep into her rectum as possible. She managed the latter part, resulting in emergency surgery.

Aerosol Cans
A Romanian woman had surgery to remove a hairspray can from her ass. A hairspray can. This will be a mystery for the ages as she refused to tell the surgeons how it got there. “This was not just a little can of deodorant, this was a massive can of hairspray,” said one hospital worker.

A Lightbub
A man in a Pakistan prison had to have a light bulb surgically removed from his ass after waking up and ‘finding it there’. We’re guessing he didn’t have enough cigarettes to share.

Concrete
A 20 year old man went to the emergency room complaining of rectal pain. X-rays showed an opaque object in the rectum. After more questioning the man explained that he had been ‘fooling around’ with his boyfriend and thought of the great idea to have his boy funnel a concrete mixture into his ass.
Surgery was performed (but no lobotomy as of yet).

This does not even begin to cover the reports of knife sharpeners, wire springs, snuff boxes, oil cans, fruits, vegetables, a jeweler’s saw, tin cup, beer and wine glasses, magazines and Donny Osmond posters.

Here is a perfectly illustrated list of what can be shoved up one’s ass.

Butt plug? Yes.

Anal Beads. Yes!

Anal beads? Yes.

Monster cock? Yes.

Cellphone? No.

Cell phone? No.


  • http://420mob.blogspot.com René Pérez

    You forgot the Matchbox miniature car up the ass of that fool in Jackass the Movie.

  • http://420mob.blogspot.com René Pérez

    You forgot the Matchbox miniature car up the ass of that fool in Jackass the Movie.

  • http://peeperz.com Joy Topaz

    Oh god…we did leave that out! We also left out all the fireworks that people enjoyed shoving up their rectum this past weekend. I don’t know if anyone would have the time to write all the weird objects people have used. Maybe we’ll have to do a follow up.

  • http://peeperz.com Joy Topaz

    Oh god…we did leave that out! We also left out all the fireworks that people enjoyed shoving up their rectum this past weekend. I don’t know if anyone would have the time to write all the weird objects people have used. Maybe we’ll have to do a follow up.

  • Caramel_Creame

    Or the guy that decided to put a drinking glass in his ass, and it broke while in his ass…..OUCH!

  • Caramel_Creame

    Or the guy that decided to put a drinking glass in his ass, and it broke while in his ass…..OUCH!

  • Anonymous 2

    What, are you all gay ?!

  • Anonymous 2

    What, are you all gay ?!

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