Top 5: Bizarre Sex Toys To Turn You Off Sex

by Bucky Beall on September 10, 2012

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We’re taking a break from turning you on to fuck you up a little with a new list of the most terrifying, confusing, and bizarre sex toys we can find. Some of these we found through Google, some were suggestions from readers and co-workers, and some came from our closet. Zap them into your brains via this list and when it’s all said and done meet us in the comments to tell us which ones you found to be most fucked up and which toy you’d actually  like to own.

5. Cosmic Bear Glow-in-the-Dark Lube

Alright this one’s actually pretty tubular, I kinda want to light her puss up with this.

4. Lotus Pussy

 This is four vaginas and breasts made out of latex. Every time you fuck one and cum inside of it it steals a tiny bit of your soul and sends it to it’s dark master, Satan.

 3. Peter Piper

This is a multipurpose dildo AND a pot pipe…..llright this one’s actually pretty tubular, I kinda want to light her puss up with this.

2. Fuck my Face

Want to fuck a disembodied head in the shower but you don’t want the prison sentance and/or death penality that comes with the act. Buy this fuckable head, better than the real thing in all ways – it even has a suction cup.

1. Vibrating Fuckable Dick Going Into A Gnomes Ass 

This sex toy has a proper name but I prefer “Vibrating Fuckable Dick Going into a Gnomes Ass”.

  • http://twitter.com/AlphaHarlot Alpha Harlot

    OMG BUCKY!!!!! That dildo pipe! I bought one like that for one of my ex’s years and years ago…I’ve been looking for one to buy myself but I couldn’t remember what the fuck it was called.
    :) :)
    10 blow job points for you, Sir!!! :)

    • BuckyBeall

      lol, how is the dildo pipe to use

      • http://twitter.com/AlphaHarlot Alpha Harlot

        It’s totally awkward and I only ever used it on her because I wouldn’t let any kind of flame get anywhere near my bush…she was always completely shaved and therefore less of a fire hazard.
        It’s a really awesome conversation piece and i think that when I get one (I put it on my wishlist when i saw this blog) I’ll use it for either one thing or the other but not both.

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