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I’m afraid that after you peepz see this list you will think I’m one crazy broad. Keep in mind that I was a young lass when most (okay, all) of these fictional characters entered my mind, body, and soul. Yes, that’s right these characters make me tingly in my special place and these long time crushes are forever imprinted on my mind. I’ll leave it up to you to figure out how they have influenced my sexual development and fantasies.
P.S. Don’t forget to tell me in the comment section, which fictional characters you would totally bang.
5. Jessica Rabbit – Who Framed Roger Rabbit
Yes, I’m aware she’s a cartoon, but is there anyone who can seriously say they wouldn’t fuck Jessica Rabbit if given half a chance? I think not. She’s the foxiest redhead. Ever. If I had a dick, which I don’t, I would totally titty-fuck those beautiful breasts of hers and cover every square inch of them in my cum, but since I don’t have a penis, I would have to settle for my hands, tongue, and mouth, which really isn’t that bad a deal.
4. Clarence Worley (And Alabama Whitman) – True Romance
“You’re so cool. You’re so cool. You’re so cool. You’re so cool.” I have to agree with you there Alabama Whitman and may I add that you were one lucky fictional lady. That scene where they fuck in the telephone booth; I nearly wore out my VHS tape rewinding it over and over again while rubbing one out. I would also settle for Christian Slater circa Heathers and Pump Up The Volume.
3. Mickey Knox (And Mallory Knox) – Natural Born Killers
Natural Born Killers was the first movie I ever owned. I watched it so many times back in the day, I can’t even begin to count. I don’t really believe that violent movies encourage violent behavior in teens, but I have to admit this movie may have contributed (just a little) to my delinquent behavior. It definitely encouraged my sexy fascination with knifes. For the record, I would have a threesome with Mickey AND Mallory; they come as a team.
2. Dracula – Bram Stocker’s Dracula
Quite frankly and without a doubt, Gary Oldman has played the best Dracula to date. I can’t be the only chick who had a massive hard-on for this guy. The scene where “beast” Dracula lures Lucy, who is wearing a stunning red nightgown into the garden labyrinth and fucks her on the bench while a transfixed Mina looks in a see through light blue shift is pure movie magic. Consider that another scene that I’ve replayed many many times.
1. Jareth King of the Goblins – Labyrinth
David Bowie in skin tight pants, need I say more? Had I been the one given the choice, I would have given the Goblin King my baby brother and stayed with him forever. “Jareth: I have been generous up until now, but I can be cruel. Everything that you have wanted I have done. You asked that the child be taken. I took him. You cowered before me. I was frightening. I have reordered time. I have turned the world upside down and I have done it all for you. I’m exhausted from living up to your expectations of me. Isn’t that generous? Look what I’m offering. Your dreams. I ask for so little. Just let me rule you and you can have everything that you want. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave.” Oh, fuck yeah.
