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You and I will never fuck someone famous: we can do the next best thing and use a celebrity themed sex toy, there are more available then you could possibly imagine. I have penetrated deep into the web to assemble a list of the top 5.
5. Head ‘O State Obama Dildo
My girlfriend has to sleep with me, a loser, but ever since I got her this dildo, she brags to her friends she fucks the leader of the free world.
4. Stoya Fleshlight
Stoya is the perfect woman, the perfect pornstar. She loves videogames, she’s kinky, she’s distinctive, she’s alt, and she’s dating Marilyn Manson – so my prick and your prick will never be near her. Luckily Fleshlight has a fully accurate replica of her pussy in their Stoya Fleshlight.
3. Tiger Woods Condoms
These make the list due to the topicality and the pun. Tiger’s Wood Covers, how do they come up with these. Plus they’re extra large which can be helpful.
2. Lindsay Lohan Sex Doll
Read enough by me and you’ll soon figure out I have a strong LiLo fetish. She’s a naturally beautiful ginger and a gifted actress as well as being a drug crazed party animal. What more could a man want?
Unlike other celebrities, I probably could sleep with her- that is if I stumble across her in a gutter, and I happen to have a bottle of tequila and two packs of parliaments that I can trade for three minutes of ass sex. Until that wonderful day, I have this obviously unofficial Lindsay blow up doll.
1. Baby Jesus Butt Plug
We mentioned this one before, but is there a bigger celebrity then the J-Man? Plus Christmas is coming up, get your girl something special this year.
