There’s more to contemporary sex slang than “Netflix and Chill.” Actually, I kind of hate “Netflix and Chill” because watching Netflix is pretty much my raison d’être and now I feel like my favorite activity has been co-opted by hipster millennials and perverted into something unrecognizable.
I just want to watch Netflix and eat my bonbons, okay. Not watch Neflix and play gate keeper to my nether regions all night.
What will they come up with next?!
When you bang someone solely because they look similar to another person you want to do.“She looks kind-of like Jessica Alba, but less hot. ”
“Shes a dopplebanger for sure.”
That is not the only definition of a “Dopplebanger,” but I’m going with this one for the purpose of this listicle, because some of the other ones are too disturbing to even mention.
When someone is running late because of an unscheduled sexual encounter“They were supposed to be here like an hour ago, what gives?”
“I bet they got postboned”
When one uses the application Snapchat for sex-related purposes.“Damn, did you see the snatchchat that Zoey sent out? What a hobag.”“Yeah, I downloaded the snapchat app so I could snatchchat my boyfriend.”
I don’t think anyone needed this one explained to them. I just like the way it sounds. Snatchchat, snatchchat, snatchchat… it’s super fun to say.
To gyrate ones testicles while copulating.“Last night I was totally powerballing your mom.”
Slap, slap, slap.
Fapping while you’re watching porn but you’re waiting because the video’s buffering.“Due to my slow internet, I had to masturwait.”
This is the worst. Remember how painful it was to watch online porn before high speed internet? Blue balls for days.
Definitions courtesy of Urban Dictionary.