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Bringing some sex toys into the bedroom often gives making fuck that extra oomph, they rule – hell, new research is showing that even if sex toys are used alone for masturbation they make people better lovers and increase satisfaction in the sack. Isn’t it nice to spice up your sessions watching Pornhub with a pocket pussy or vibe? That’s some fuck toy love for y’all, but there is a dark side, a horrifying side. Unspeakable pleasure devices of terror are out there and we’re here to categorize them in our ongoing series of lists of top 5 bizarre sex toys.
Cross your legs and get ready, these sex toys show no mercy.
5. Kali’s Teeth
Huh?! What is that, how do you use it?
4. Lemon Buttplug
What can I say about a lemon themed buttplug?
….
That wasn’t a rhetorical question.
3. Piggly Wiggly Double Dong
In case you don’t know what the terror is you’re gazing at it’s a pig faced double vibrating dildo. All the popular sex toys can be found used in pornos, I checked Porn.Md, the world’s greatest porn search engine, and found tons of videos with the ever popular Hitachi Magic Wand, same thing for the rabbit vibrator, however, I found no results for sexy movies involving the Piggly Wiggly, I wonder why?
2. The Cobra
That’s pretty, what is it? Do you put it on your finger to gently caress your love partner’s back?
oh.
1. Log Dildo
This is a series of dildos designed to look like shit, and as the product description explains “textured to feel like the real thing.”
Since this toy broke my brain I got Pornhub Jordan to finish this post out, this is what she had to say: “This is perfect ’cause now I can get a butt toy where you can’t see the stains, no more lost minutes spent cleaning my dildos.”
