You want me to put what inside my body? False modesty aside, I kind of want to low key try all these. Well, except the Tyson, because water buffalo are real animals and I’m not comfortable with bestiality. I want my creatures to be paranormal!
Seriously, though, I know most of these are weird as fuck, but I read a lot of SciFi/Paranormal/Fantasy/Urban Fantasy/Vampire-Related fiction and erotica. There are times, depending on what series I was reading at the time where I would have definitely used one or more of these.
This thing is 36 inches long!
7. Custom Two-Colour Mythos Art Dildo
I don’t even know what this is, but I like it.
Right, I finally remembered what this reminds me off. The Ood from Doctor Who, obviously.
6. Zelda Link Master Dildo Sword
I wish someone would make a Vlad the Impaler Dildo Sword. That would be AWESOME!
5. Unicorn Horn
I may or may not have a fantasy that involves a unicorn horn.
Tyson is a water buffalo and I am at a loss for words.
3. Echo The Snowstrider
All I want to know is what the hell is a Snowstrider?
2. Demon Dick
1. The Dragon Tongue
The small one is the size of a can of coke. I’m dead.
Via the internet – Follow Lola Byrd on Twitter @misslolabyrd