Toy Story: Public Masturbator Banned From Wal-Mart

William Tyler was banned for life from the mega-store, Wal-Mart, after getting caught masturbating in the toy aisle and wiping his spunk covered hand on a light saber. You have to pity the poor schmuck who had to clean up Tyler’s spunk for minimum wage. Most of the jobs that involve handling some strange dude’s cum usually pay a lot more. At least, he had the decency to bring his own wank material: Sports Illustrated: Swimsuit Edition.

I wonder if he brought the mag in with him or if he borrowed the store’s copy?

Wal-Mart doesn’t give a rats ass about child labor, however, it draws the line at public masturbation. Someone had to think of the kids. You wouldn’t want to warp their fragile little minds with the sight of too much cock at such a young age.

I’ve never been to a Wal-Mart, but I’m thinking I should start spending more time there. Who knows, maybe this trend will pick up. Hear that ladies, feeling a little randy? Looking for some cock? Head down to your nearest Wal-Mart.