Do you recognize the name Jonah Falcon? No, he’s not a male pornstar even though he has everything it takes to make it (even the name “Joe Falcon” is a great porno-name) but Jonah’s a minor celebrity with many appearances on talk shows, mentions in newspaper articles, and even a whole HBO documentary about him – and why does he have this low level of notoriety?
Because Mr. Falcon has the world’s largest penis. He’s packing a trouser snake which is 9 inches long when flaccid, and a terrifying 13.5 inches while erect, and yes I know your next question: He does not perform in fuck flicks even though many porno studios have made him offers.
You’d think having the world’s biggest cock comes with no downsides but a few days ago Mr. Falcon ran into problems while trying to fly out of San Francisco, the TSA security guards pulled him from the security line to investigate his mysterious pants package. According to Jonah here’s what went down:
“I said, ‘It’s my dick,’ the agent gave me a pat down but made sure to go around my penis with his hands. They even put some powder on my pants, probably a test for explosives. I found it amusing.”
He was taken aside for an interview/interrogation with two agents, the pat down he mentioned above, and he had to go through two body scanners. You might wish you had the biggest cockasaurus to roam this earth with but as this story illustrates having a giant penis has its downside. But Jonah Falcon has a plan to avoid such treatment for future flights:
“I’m just gonna wear bike shorts from now on. That way, they’ll know.”