Earlier this month a Chinese news program ran a story about a mysterious plant that was discovered while digging a well. Biologists around the world were glued to their televisions; eager to catch a glimpse at was being described as a “mystery mushroom.”
They then proceeded to laugh their asses off. The mushroom in question was clearly a rubber sex toy.
Described as being “very smooth” and having the feel of a “type of meat,” the object has a rubber vagina on one end and a rubber butthole on the other. Villagers and reporters poke and examine the object, totally unaware of what it is.
One of the more hilarious parts of the video is the attempt to identify the “mushroom” by reporters. It is said to be a rare specimen that is difficult to grow and was used by an emperor as an ingredient in a secret longevity potion. The man who found it claims he is going to keep it in his house until a biologist can come examine it scientifically. Good luck with that!
Whoever owned the toy is probably in the back with one of the most epic poker faces in the history of the world, casually playing it dumb while his entire community and a news organization talk about something he had his dick in. I eagerly await the promised follow up report.