Considering I work in the adult entertainment industry a normal morning for me usually consists of cruisin’ Pornhub and looking for the latest Lindsay Lohan upskirt on Peeperz . Aside from making my brain more smarter by looking at Lindsay’s panties I especially love to check out new sexy products and procedures on the market. Lately my stealth like research has brought me to numerous products involving pimping out vaginas. As the proud owner of one I find all of the different ways to manipulate and beautify it interesting, hilarious and slightly horrifying. If own a vagina or know someone that does this article may be for you.
Stumbling across Betty, a pubic hair dye made me giggle. From natural colors like black, blonde and red to extreme shades like pink, lilac and turquoise Betty offers up an at home pubic hair dye for vaginas worldwide. A trip to a salon in Rome inspired Betty creator Nancy Jarecki to bring her doctor approved pubic hair dye to North America. While a turquoise pubic region may not be for everyone having the option to get rid of grays or match your carpet to your drapes is pretty darn cool. Betty sells T-shirts on their site asking, “Is your Betty ready? While I’m not sure if mine will ever be, you can be the judge for yourself, scope out the product here.
Ever look longingly at your vagina and wish it looked more…..blingy? As if there were hundreds of diamonds attached to it instead of that bothersome pubic hair? Well creators of Vajazzle certainly did! Vajazzle is a treatment applied after waxing where dozens of Swarovski crystals are glued to a woman’s vagina in various patterns. While they only stick for a few days you will certainly be packing one pimped out pussy. While I’m not planning on Vajazzling my junk anytime soon I’m sure this product has, and will continue to make strippers, Jennifer Love Hewitt and newlyweds very happy. Check out the video below to see the Vajazzle magic for yourself.
Even though September’s issue of Cosmo eloquently claims that “untamed va-jay-jay’s” are back, I have faith that estheticians everywhere are still in business. Pubic styles for women have changed over the centuries and can be as faddy as fashion, dance moves or Snuggies. From pubic wigs in the 1600’s to the full and natural bush of the 70’s and popularity of the Brazilian wax over the recent decade pubic fads are ever changing. The video below displays a wide range of waxing styles, from the Charlie Chaplin to the Rising Sun. Never before have I been more excited to own a vagina and pubic hair. Ladies, we’ve got options.
I was shocked when I heard of pussy dye or “My New Pink Button” to be specific. Once I checked to make sure this was a legit product all I had to do was pick from one of four shades of pink (sweetly named Marilyn, Betty, Ginger etc) and I was set……..not really. Considering this company’s website is extremely vague I have no fucking clue what chemicals are in this product, if it causes any long term side effects, or even how the dye works. What I DO know is that I can temporarily dye my labia a new shade of pink. If this product is safe enough to use on my vagina, maybe I can also use it as a household product!! I can use My New Pink Button to dye my Nori (sea weed wrap) when making sushi, as a lip stain before a night on the town or as paint for my latest masterpiece!
Considering I’m still in my twenties I was ignorant to the fact that woman’s labia loses its pigment with age. I don’t know what having a 50 year old vagina is like, but I do know that if someone refused to be with be until my vagina was pink enough, at ANY age, they certainly wouldn’t be seeing me again.
Check out the site for yourself at www.mynewpinkbutton.com