Woody’s Wood: Porn Casting Call For The Walking Dead XXX

by WOODSTOCKZZ on December 21, 2011

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Welcome to Woody’s Wood, the weekly column where pro porno script writer and king of the geeks WoodstockZZ shares his insights, rants, and reviews on the subject of dirty movies.

For whatever reason comic book spoofs in porn have been going ape shit crazy. Actually comic books have been taking over main stream and porno culture for the last ten years; it’s actually at the point where I’m actually getting laid due to my comic book knowledge.

I’m going to have a little fun and pretend I get to be the producer of a big time comic book porn parody. Personally I would choose the greatest comic book of all time to do, the epic zombie series: The Walking Dead. Fuck all this Peeperz Holiday programming, it’s ZOMBIETIME!

I know zombies aren’t that sexy, but the humans being chased by zombies can put in a lot of sexy situations. Lots of fucking because at any moment you can die! Fucking because you need to feel the void in your life with anything in this god forsaken shit hole! The list of fuck reasons and situations goes on and on.

Which talent would I pick for what role? Now I’m going to do this off the comic book series, not the popular TV show based on the graphic novel series. So here’s the Woodstock picks for a casting call of The Walking Dead XXX Porn Spoof:

The biggest love triangle of all: Rick Grimes, Lori Grimes, and Shane Walsh. Rick was in coma when the Zombie Virus broke out. So his best friend Shane took his wife Lori to safety. While Rick was in a coma, Shane and Lori started fucking their brains out! Rick got better and came back. Let’s just say shit hit the fan.

Jordan Ash kind of looks like Rick Grime, and he’s a decent actor. He knows how to lay the smack down
with his giant cock. Now that’s leadership quality in my book.

Not only does Madelyn Marie look like Lori Grimes, she gives off a certain class that makes her perfect for the role of Rick’s complicated wife Lori. There’s another reason to… oh yeah she’s a fucking sex bomb. KA-BOOM!

Wise cracking, loud mouth, and all around scary dude is what makes Charles Dera perfect for the role of Shane Walsh. Charles is a superb actor, and the way he delivers his lines is nothing short of spectacular.

We can’t forget a true romance of the Walking Dead. Maggie Green & good old Glenn. The two people that found love in a world of hell. Asian porn star Keni Styles matches Glenn’s ethnicity and has the porn skills to back it up.

Maggie Green is a tough as nails farmers daughter what better choice than tough as nails, don’t take any bullshit attitude of Missy Stone. Not only is she a badass, but she fucks like a badass. That’s why she makes top of the list for this one.

What fucking bad ass warrior would play samurai sword wielding Michonne, that sexy luscious figure and attitude that says “I will fuck you up at the drop of a hat.” I can think of nobody else but the sexy Misty Stone.

Sharp shooting sexy sniper southern Andrea makes me think young sex-licious Samantha Saint.

Finally the group conscience Dale, I can think of no other than male veteran porn star Randy Spears.

Follow WoodstockZZ on Twitter for more awesome and be sure to tell who you’d cast in the comments section.

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