Wet Ass Pussy

Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion released a new song and video at midnight on August 7th. The song is called WAP (Wet Ass Pussy) so it is obviously relevant to my interests. I’ve watched the sexy ass video like 5 times in a row this morning and my favorite Peepz need to have a look.

Right from jump, you can tell that this video is going to be something else. The camera sweeps down the driveway of a massive mansion and you get to feast your eyes on a fountain that has two female torsos with water shooting out of the nipples. A few seconds later, we’re inside and there’s a bubble butt posterior hanging on the wall.

An ass like that deserves to get framed.

Cardi announced on Instagram that the video was going to be the censored version of the song because the lyrics were too hot for YouTube. That was a good decision. Censor yourself so that people can bop to your music. The real fans will download the uncensored version anyway.

She changed Wet Ass Pussy to Wet and Gushy…which is just as hot, IMO.

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Kehlani Loves Sex Workers

A few years back, my old boss/now friend went to a Demi Lovato concert. Kehlani opened for her. That experience completely changed her life.

For the next three months, all she could talk about was how sexy Kehlani and Demi were when they were rolling around on a bed in the middle of the stadium. Their improvised sex scene was a whole mood for her and she ate up every minute of it. If you want to watch a clip of Demi riding on top of Kehlani’s torso, you can click here…but today, I want to talk about Kehlani’s new video for the song Can I.

The whole video features a metric fuck ton of cam girls doing their thing and making their money. Kehlani is using her platform to raise awareness of the REAL ACTUAL WORK that sex workers do while they’re on the clock. I’m honestly impressed with what she put together.

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Backseat Bonking

I spent years masturbating in the front seat of my car in order to produce the Xtube content that my viewers were craving. Car sex is that strange middle ground between being public and being private. While movie tropes usually save this type of sexual contact for teenagers, let’s make a case for going at it in the back seat as adults.

Public sex is obviously my jam. I’m all about looking for secluded places in parking lots and out of the way places where no one is going to find me doing dirty things to myself or my partners. Making out with my partners can make things hot and heavy enough to get by, but kissing during the pandemic seems to be risky business. Quick sex is usually best for back seat antics so that you can get in and out without being discovered.

One of the downsides of car sex is that you don’t really have that many options for positions.

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Fap Along With Harlot: Outrageous Orgies

Sometimes I forget that my sex life has been the thing that fantasies are made of. I spent my 20s looking for group sex situations and became rather good at being able to handle multiple partners at the same time. When discussing group sex with the new woman that I’m speaking to I mentioned that sometimes, “Orgies just fall into your lap,” and she disagreed.

I told her about the year that I spent hunting for threesomes on Craig’s List and she was shocked. She didn’t realize that there people out there like me…proud perverts who were into sharing their bodies and experiencing new sensations with as many people as possible.

In order to celebrate my past life group sex sluttiness, I’ve pulled five orgy clips for us to enjoy together today. Are you Peepz ready for a good time? Saddle up and grab your favorite lube…Let’s fap!

It’s my kinda party when you walk into the room, look to the left and see some guy getting his massive cock sucked in the doorway. There’s so much sex going on in this room that you’re going to have a hard time focusing on one act at a time.

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Women and Wet Dreams

While I have sex dreams all of the time, I can probably count on half of one hand how many times I’ve had an orgasm in my sleep. I didn’t even realize that it was something that was possible because it is one of those “female sex myths,” that is almost never discussed. Is it even really possible?

We may have to look to science for the answers.

If you’re going to orgasm when you’re asleep, it’s going to happen during your REM sleep cycle. The increased blood flow will go straight to your naughty bits. Right before you drift off, if you happen to be thinking about that special someone that you want to bone, there is a higher likelihood that you’ll dream about sex once you get to REM. Dreaming about sex seems to be the key to having nocturnal emissions.

Here’s a wacky thought though…

Why do you have to have an actual orgasm in order for it to count as a wet dream?

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Normalize Dudes and Vibrators

I get off with sex toys nearly every day of my life. Could I use my hands to rub one out? Of course…but most of the time I’m looking for an intense sensation that would give carpal tunnel if I attempted manual manipulation.

During sex, a lot of the guys that I’ve fucked have been intimidated by my vibrator use. They never understood why I needed “more” than just their dick…and that’s why most of the men that I fucked in my life never made me orgasm. If I knew then what I know now, I would have slept with a whole lot less folks.

Everyone deserves to feel the pleasure that they are looking for in sexual situations. If that means that you like the way it feels when someone dips their tongue into your butthole while they’re stroking you off, so be it. Next time, maybe try a vibrator.

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Fuck Buddy Bubbles

In my vanilla life, there are plenty of people that are suddenly having conversations that are very similar to the safer-sex negotiations that I’ve been having with potential partners for years. For those of us that understand that talking about risks is important, this whole COVID conversation thing may seem like old hat.

Here’s the scenario.

Before I even think about doing some social distance meetups, I need to know how risky the person is being. Have they been taking quarantine seriously? Do they wear their masks as often as possible? Are they obsessively sanitizing and washing their hands? Do they understand that, when you’re going to fist someone, gloves are the best tool for the job because it allows the lube to be more viscous?

That’s a different conversation actually.

Well, sometimes it is anyway.

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Fap Along with Harlot: Hardcore Hotties

Have you Peepz taken a gander at Pornhub’s Hardcore category lately? I usually dive into either Double Penetration or Bisexual Male when I’m all by myself, but tonight I decided that I was in the mood for something different. The cool thing about Hardcore is that the clips are going to be intense, but it’s also a fairly good mix of content.

While I was busy with my clit, I kept opening clips up in different windows so that I could save some of the goodies for my favorite Peepz. Are you ready to enjoy them with me all over again? I honestly can’t wait to cum with you.

Why don’t you sit back and get comfortable and let me drive your mind for awhile, how does that sound? I’m ready to get in the driver’s seat, so let’s fap!

Public Agent clips are usually awesome. A man approaches a sexy woman on the street and they chat for a bit. After awhile it’s obvious that he’s looking to get into her pants, so the actress decides to take the guy’s cash and take care of business in some sordid place. This woman’s nipples are so fucking hot, wait till you see.

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Must Have Been One Hell of a DVD

When I first saw the headlines about a guy in Baltimore getting fired over watching 39 hours of porn over the course of a two week period, my first thought was this guy really should have looked into working at the EPA instead.

My second thought was while 39 hours is indeed a lot of time, if someone is just idly surfing porn sites all day, they might not really be “watching” porn during all those hours, so much as they’ve been looking for some porn to watch.

Then I read something which cast the whole story into an impressive new light: The dude was watching a porn DVD, in full-screen mode.

These facts change everything, as they speak to a focus on and dedication to the viewing material which goes way beyond mere channel-surfing. This was a man not idly browsing tube site categories, or plumbing the depths of a Google search for ‘free porn videos;’ clearly he was dissecting and digesting every moment of footage, more like a determined literature professor digging for meaning than an aroused porn viewer seeking orgasmic release.

As reported by the Baltimore Sun, there’s no indication it was a different DVD every day, or more than one DVD in any given day, which means on the day in which “viewing occurred for 6 hours and 46 minutes of an eight-hour day” he must have watched the same porn DVD at least two or three times that day – unless of course it was a porn DVD made by James Cameron, in which case it has approximately 400 hours of interviews with the director in the ‘extras’ section.

Either way, my primary take-away from this story now is, we must be talking about one hell of a DVD!


Botched Circumcision In Florida Home Leads To Stabbing?

Circumcision is a very controversial subject for both new parents and people who like to argue about absolutely anything on the internet. Some have the procedure done as infants because of religious or cultural traditions, while others consider the act to be based on outdated health standards and opt not to have it done to their babies.

Personally, my great grandfather was born to a Jewish mother and was circumcised per her request. Generations later despite being and about as Kosher as a ham and cheese sandwich, I was circumcised because nobody in my family knew any different.

Like most people this was done when I was an infant, however there are some who have it done when they’re older although you rarely seen it performed on adults by request of their parents… unless you’re talking about Florida.

Oh the humidity!

Floridians often make the news for absurd reasons and today’s entry does not disappoint. Be it the excess sunshine, near constant heat exposure, or the millions of pounds of drugs that enter its beaches illegally there’s just something special about Florida- affectionately known as America’s track mark.