Fap Along With Harlot: Seeing Red

To say that my week has been challenging would be an understatement. I’m feeling a bit feisty so I’m going back through my mental spank bank to try and think about sexier times.

You know who I miss in theory but not in practice? My Amazonian Redheaded Ex. She was SO much fun in bed…an amazingly tall BBW woman who knew exactly what she wanted out of life. Together though? We were like a negative chemical reaction.

I’ll still day dream about her from time to time though, and that’s why I ended up over on Pornhub grazing my way through their Redhead category. If you’re a fan of ginger ladies, this Fap Along is for you. Silky skin, flaming hair and all the sass you can possibly handle. Are you ready for this? I suggest grabbing a jizz towel because you’re in for a wild, messy ride. Let’s Fap!

Molly Stewart is in charge when Jade Baker comes over for a study session. Jade gets down on her knees under the table to lick the slippery slit that Molly has hiding underneath her very tiny panties.

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Sexy Things from the 70s

Confessions time, Peepz. I had a quarantine romance. Please note the past tense. It was some of the best sex I’ve ever had in my life but it’s over now and that’s OK. I tweeted earlier this week that red flags are still red flags, even if they are decorated with glitter.

One of the good things that came out of my short lived sexcapade was the fact that she gave me an amazing treasure. While she was going through some boxes of crap at her parent’s place last week, she came across an Evelyn Rainbird Catalog from 1976. This catalog is filled with some vintage pervert gold.

From what I can gather, Evelyn Rainbird Ltd was an erotic toy distributor out of New York and New Jersey in the 1970s. The company sold everything from socks for your dick to classy gold and silver jewelry pieces with a slightly perverse twist. The catalog sells everything that you would expect a sexual aid company to sell…only with a lot more bush.

Right from jump, you know you’re in for more pubic hair than you are used to seeing. The cover of this catalog features a nude model wearing a sheer nightgown with all of her glorious bush exposed to the masses. Can we bring back bush like that? I’m totally here for it. There’s nothing that makes me happier than discovering that a new lover keeps their hair long.

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Sex Scenes Blown Up

The global pandemic has everyone in Hollywood putting on their thinking caps and trying to be creative. Social distancing guidelines make it harder to transmit the Coronia Virus, but they make it very difficult to get cheeky on screen. CBS soap opera The Bold and the Beautiful has found a way to film sexy encounters and it’s basically a bag of hot air.

When you’re posed with a problem, you have to put on your thinking cap to solve it sometimes. The problem was, “How do we film sex scenes when our actors can’t be within 6 feet of each other?” The creative team at The Bold and the Beautiful has opted to pull some old blow up dolls out of storage to stand in for actors when they can’t be close.

Now, I know what you’re thinking…How realistic can these blow up dolls even be?

The answer? Not very realistic at all.

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Sex Gets Deeper With THC

Marijuana is a wonder drug. It can help treat anything from mild anxiety to full blow panic attacks. Cancer patients can use it to help with both their pain and their appetites. You’ll never catch me talking negatively about how much consuming herb has affected my own life personally.

One of the things that I love to do is smoke right before I have sex with someone else. If I have any anxious feelings, they immediately disappear with my inhibitions. Some of the most creative fuck sessions in my life have happened when all parties involved were flying high after a few puffs.

A new study published in the journal Culture, Health & Sexuality seems to agree with my findings. Researchers interviewed 41 men from varying ages who do not identify as straight. Through lengthy interviews, they uncovered that the majority of those men said that use of herbal refreshments before fucking increased sexual pleasure along with lowering inhibitions and helping them feel less anxious.

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Does The Color Of Your Bedroom Affect Your Sex Life?

Everyone wants to improve their sex life, but exercising and eating properly is really hard. If only there was something really easy you could do to increase the amount of sex you have without making any drastic or effort consuming life changes. Travelodge has your back!

A while back, the kingpin of hotels conducted a survey in the United Kingdom to figure out how the color of the bedroom affects one’s life. What they found out is people with caramel colored bedrooms were the most likely to engage in sexual activities while people with red bedrooms were found to be the least likely.

Apparently Travelodge wants to figure out what color to paint their rooms to customer satisfaction. According to interior designer Francis Whitley:

“Room color does influence your mood and set the tone for your living environment. Therefore, it’s important to choose a bedroom décor that will help you relax and induce sleep. [Guests] are no longer happy with everything being the same color.”


Fap Along with Harlot: Girl on Girl Pride

I haven’t touched a dick in almost 8 years at this point. I’m OK with that. For a few weeks this spring, I was dabbling about the idea of trying out cock for a spin again, but in the end I’ve decided against it. There are a few very specific cocks that exist out there specifically to make me cum.

Because I’ve been contemplating my own LGBTQ+ status (I identify as Queer btw, she/her pronouns). I started taking a stroll around Pornhub for some of the best pussy licking ladies around. We’re going to enjoy five of my favorite clips today, but I’m warning you that you’re going to be a sloppy mess afterwards.

Are you ready? Grab your favorite jizz towel and let’s fap!

There’s no way that I wasn’t going to start out this particular Fap Along with Abella Danger. She sneaks up on Jasmine Gray while she’s getting off solo. Abella knows all the right spots to make pussies hum.

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The New Traditional

Singaporean-Chinese Artist Charmain Poh  has many ideas about shifting the visual ideals within society. In her most recent project titled How They Love, she captures the beauty of a new tradition. Gone are the days where all wedding portraits include a masculine person with a penis and a feminine person with a vulva.

As we move forward with our thinking as a society, even the most mundane traditions have to change as well. People fall in love, people get married and people want to remember the day that they got married with photographs. Poh has merged the old school with the new school by shooting images of queer lesbian couples. In the background of each image is a wedding photograph of their parents.

I love the idea of merging the new love of the children with the timeless love of the parents. It’s very symbolic of the way that families must come together to accept the differences between our generations .

Here are some pictures from Poh’s project, How They Love:

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Gimme Some Sugar

I’ve been lucky enough to receive some fairly generous gifts from men in my life. While the gifts have never been consistent enough for me to consider myself a “sugar baby,” I still acknowledge that the men who have given me gifts are often, but not always, looking for something in return. In my case, the reciprocation has usually been in picture or video form.

Sugar babies and sugar daddies (also sugar mommas etc) are often lost in the shuffle when discussing sex workers. Are they even sex workers? Accepting gifts for company seems fairly innocent to me as an outsider. You want me to go out to dinner with you and hold your hand while we walk to our cars? That’s cool…you spring for dinner and slip me an envelope and I’ll be sure to keep the conversation flowing the entire time.

It’s harmless as long as both parties involved are on the same page about the arrangement…or is it?

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A Bold New Sexual Frontier in Sports Recruiting?

Even if you don’t watch college football, if you are in a relationship with someone who does, if you own a television, or routinely interact with other humans, then you probably know the college football season has just ended with a contest between a team of waterfowl and team of… well, whatever the fuck a “Buckeye” might be.

I tried to watch some of the Big Game with my husband, but he seemed to be rooting for both teams (and maybe against the refs) which confused me even more than the rules regarding what is or isn’t considered a catch.

After a while, I just sort of half-listened while reading a Rolling Stone article about a bunch of dirty cops in Texas, because the game itself was pretty uninteresting.

The waterfowl defense just couldn’t tackle one of the Buckhounds (or the Shucksters, or whatever) and as a result he spent pretty much the whole night celebrating in the end zone. Also, the quarterback of the Buckshots appeared to be eleven feet tall and made of sentient, flexible stone – which seems unfair, but whatever; that’s football, I guess.

What I do find interesting, however, is a new college football recruitment tool which I believe could be a “Real Game Changer,” as Herb Kirkstreet of ESPN might put it.

Before we get to the Real Game Changer, though, I have to back up a bit and explain how this new recruitment device might come into play.


Vagina Breaks Up Fight Between Penis & A Dick

A man in a penis costume and a woman dressed as a vagina were prancing around the streets of Glastonbury in Somerset, England to promote two plays being put on by their theater group. Things were going fine until one man took offence to their costumes and started a fight with the penis.

What a dick!

He started shouting at the pair about how disgusting they were and that children could see them. As he became increasingly angry, he grabbed the hat off of the penis costume and threw it to the ground. Sensing danger, the vagina tried to calm everyone down and break up the fight. That sounds kind of hot.