Post image for I’d Like To Keep The Word “Hack” Far Away From My Body, Thanks

Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the award-winning porn site for women & couples. With over 18 years’ experience under her belt, writing about and for the adult entertainment industry, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

I get that “life hacks” can be useful and that people love to share tips about things like using old CD spindles as bagel totes, or turning a pants hanger into a cookbook holder. Hell, I’ve even adopted a few of these hacks myself, including several different applications for binder clips.

There are other manners of ‘hack,’ however, with which I want nothing to do. Specifically, I’m referring to biohacking – which this definition politely describes as “the application of IT hacks to biological systems,” also noting that biohacking “encompasses a wide spectrum of DIY IT projects and ideas.”

Does This Involve the T-Virus, Somehow?

As I already mentioned, my discomfort with biohacking starts with the term. Offhand, it sounds like something Alice should be trying to prevent the Umbrella Corporation from doing, or maybe an upcoming sequel in the Friday the 13th franchise wherein Jason Voorhees takes revenge on a former high school science teacher of his who he particularly disliked.

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Post image for Can Cannabis Make Sex After 50 Better?

My answer to the title question is going to be yes.  I mean, granted it would be yes if you took out the “After 50” situation.  The title should probably read, “Cannabis Makes Sex Better,” period, end of sentence.

I don’t blaze much anymore because my body chemistry changed and I’m trying really hard not to eat the entire contents of my refrigerator on a daily basis, however, when I was smoking all the time, my sex drive was at its height.

Whenever I think about sex and herb, I think about one of the first times that we smashed.  I had smoked a bit before she came over to loosen up and relax. As soon as she came in the door, we were on each other.  In bed, I was fucking unstoppable. She was strapped up and I was riding her. I couldn’t get enough of her dick. I had my eyes closed and was so lost in what I was doing that I didn’t even realize that my mouth was fucking dry as hell and I really needed to take a drink.

My wife literally tapped my shoulder to break me out of my trance and was like, “Dude, here,” and she handed me a bottle of water.

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Hot Tub Sex Arrest

by Alpha Harlot on March 20, 2019

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I’ve filmed porno in a hot tub before.  Anything that has to do with sex in the water is my jam.  Being completely consumed by liquid makes the action so much more fun for me.  

There was a time in my life where I would house sit for a relative who owned a hot tub (and a pool, but if I’m being for real, I’m all about the hot tub).  I spent the entire week coming up with different scenes to film for my Xtube Amateur account. It was totally one of the most creative weeks in my life. I fucked a suction cup dildo on the refrigerator, on the kitchen counter, on the balcony sliding glass door.  Anywhere that I could get that dick to stick, I masturbated.

My absolute favorite was in the hot tub though.  

I’d take the suction cupped cock and press it down into one of the seats, then I’d line my clit up with one of the jets and turn that shit up on high.  It’s still one of my favorite orgasms to think about. The whole week melds together into one long orgasmic memory for me. It’s kind of amazing.

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Post image for Penis Enlargement Surgery Death (Not the Dick’s Fault)

Yikes Peepz! That’s a hell of a story title, no? When I was researching this story, it seemed to me like every news outlet that covered it was trying to outdo the last. Things like, “Billionaire Tycoon Wants a Huge Penis, Gets Death Instead,” and “Money Bags Goes Under the Knife for Sexual Prowess,” were flooding my search results.

I want to take a different angle to this story though and ask why someone who had all the money that he could ever ask for would feel lackluster enough about his person to have surgery to get a new cock. Especially since he didn’t actually die from the surgery itself. Click-bait headlines had my trigger finger happy, but it was all for naught.

Ehud Arye Laniado was a 65-year-old diamond trader. He died of a heart attack while he was having surgery to enhance his dick, but he didn’t die from the actual surgery. The causes of death all point to the anesthesia that he was under while the surgery was happening.

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Post image for Fap Along With Harlot: Blowjob Bonanza

The security guards on campus were all huddled up in the middle of the hallway yesterday. One of the guys tilted up his chin to say hello to me so I walked over with my coffee to say good morning. That was apparently the wrong move because I walked into a conversation about the one guy’s wife not sucking his dick.

Everyone got very embarrassed and started blushing. I asked about an event that was happening over the weekend to cover everyone’s tracks. I could give a fuck if this guy was getting his dick sucked or not.

Oral sex is totally one’s prerogative. Some people aren’t that into it, some people (like me) obsess over the feeling of being able to please my partner with just my mouth. Because of the security guard convo I walked into, I put together a Fap Along list of blow job clips for you to enjoy this week.

You ready? Lube up your nether regions and let’s get down to business.

Mia Malkova is pretty amazing. She’s a treat to watch, no matter the sexual position. In this Twisty’s clip, she sucks off a short, thick cock until he’s ready to pound her pussy.

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I’ll Take Quality Over Quantity, Any Day

March 15, 2019
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Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the award-winning porn site for women & couples. With over 18 years’ experience under her belt, writing about and for the adult entertainment industry, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced […]

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Protect Yourself: STI’s on the Rise

March 14, 2019
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You get to make your own decisions about your life in between the sheets. Taking responsibility for your actions is all par for the course though. Safer sex practices can save your life and save you so many headaches in the long run. Use condoms, my Peepz. You can make up all the excuses you’d […]

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Self on Strap-On Sex

March 13, 2019
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I’ve recently reconnected with one of my friends from college. He’s a great guy who always turned down my (extremely needy and unwarranted) sexual advances. I’m pretty sure that’s why we stopped talking in the first place. Young Harlot had a hard time understanding why everyone in the world didn’t want to have sex with […]

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Is Keto Crotch a Thing?

March 12, 2019
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What you put into your body makes a difference as to what comes out of your body. That old wives tale about eating pineapple to make your spunk sweeter is absolutely founded in truth. If you eat lots of sugary goodness, your cum will change it’s taste. I can go on for hours about the […]

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Thankfully, I Have Unlimited Data

March 11, 2019
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Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the award-winning porn site for women & couples. With over 18 years’ experience under her belt, writing about and for the adult entertainment industry, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced […]

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