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Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the award-winning porn site for women & couples. With over 18 years’ experience under her belt, writing about and for the adult entertainment industry, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

When I was a young woman, experimenting with new and different sexual positions was much easier than it is for me to do now. One of the primary reasons for this is that my body’s flexibility and core strength just aren’t what they used to be – a pair of facts which probably owes as much to my lifelong sweet-tooth as it does my age.

This doesn’t mean I’m entirely closed to the possibility of trying new positions, just that I need to be cautious in choosing those I attempt.

It’s Not Called “Crème Brulee” Because I Have To Crack Open His Skin, Right?

This week, I spotted a headline which made me think my somewhat hesitant but still extant willingness to try new positions and my love for sweets had come together in serendipitous fashion. “Love morning sex? The creme brulee position promises the perfect start to your day.”

I do love morning sex and whenever I see it on a menu, it’s a serious struggle for me to not order crème brulee for dessert – so this sounded like a winner at first glance.

But then it struck me: When I eat crème brulee, before I can feast on the pudding, there’s this hard, crusty outer layer to crack through. I don’t mind doing that in the context of eating dessert, but if there’s an analogous requirement involved in the crème brulee sexual position, this could have frightening implications for me and/or my partner, depending on the details involved.

Is my husband’s leathery skin the crust here? Please don’t try to tell me it’s my skin – I’m a committed student of the CeraVe school of skin care!

Clearly, more reading is required here.

Uh-Oh, Think I Found A Disqualifying Phrase: “Hard Work”

The more I read about the crème brulee position, the less new it sounds – other than its moniker, which may not be new to others, but is certainly new to me.

As described in the article, to get into the position, “you both need to remain lying down, with the woman’s arms raised above her head, and her legs bent in the knees and moved apart.”

OK, that’s simple enough.

“Then the man hooks one bent leg over her thigh, keeping the other straight.”

Got it. I’ll admit, I’m a little concerned about the implications of this step with respect to my husband’s bum knee – but “no pain no gain,” right?

“Placing his hands on the woman’s hip, the man then penetrates from behind and the sensual move is said to be very deep but without requiring much effort.”

Not much effort; I like the sound of that, too!

“Women can lie back as the man does all the hard work in this very passionate position that leaves his hands free to roam your body.”

Hmm. While I’m sure he wouldn’t mind having his hands free to “roam my body,” I think I’ll leave out the part about my husband being the one who will do “all the hard work” when we achieve this position. This bit of omission usually does the trick when we’re preparing meals, too. He’s way less likely to say yes to having chef’s salad for dinner if I first tell him he’s doing all the cutting and peeling.

“Don’t Sugarcoat It,” Indeed

My one reservation about naming sexual positions after desserts is that in the process of doing so, we’re bound to make certain positions sound appealing, when in truth, trying to get into them is likely going to result in the scheduling of physical therapy sessions for at least one member of a couple.

When it comes to difficult-to-hold positions, for example, I prefer names which imply the sort of difficulty I’m bound to encounter. Take “the zombie,” for example – there’s no way I’m trying a position called that, especially right after binging my way through an entire season of The Walking Dead.On the other hand, I’m just fine with using dessert names for sexual positions, provided the name accurately communicates the relevant complexity or discomfort of the position in question. Just don’t ask me to get into the palmier position, and it’s all good.

Calico Rudasil is a Sssh.com (@ssshforwomen) columnist and Sssh will be on Peeperz for fun times again in the near future, meanwhile why not check us out:


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Sex Tech: LoveSync

by Alpha Harlot on February 21, 2019

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When I’m feeling randy and I want to fuck, I put on some sexy panties, kiss my wife deeply and say, “I’d really like to feel your fist inside my pussy.”  I mean, say what you want about me but I’ve never been really good at the whole subtle thing. When I want something, I ask for it. That’s just the way I roll.

Not everyone is as comfortable with requesting fisting as I am though, and brilliant couple in Cleveland, Ohio has come up with a solution to the age old question, “Does my partner want to smash or not?”

LoveSync is a two button system that plugs into a USB port.  You get one button, your partner gets the other. If you’re in the mood and want to fuck, you press the button and the system will remember for a specific amount of time.  If your partner presses their button within that window, both buttons will glow signifying that romance is cool with both parties and a sex fest is eminent.

Here’s the Kickstarter video for the device:

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Post image for PornHub’s Valentine’s Day Album is Mood

Mixing perversion and music is totally my bag. I was completely outspoken about my love for Young MA’s directorial debut on PornHub. For Valentine’s Day this year, everyone’s favorite fap site dropped a hip hop album featuring a boatload of infamous Peepz.

Blac Chyna makes an appearance in the opening skit. She talks about getting her butthole licked, so I mean, that’s cool. Everyone loves a little rim job dirty talking. I tried listening to the album blind the first time. I didn’t want to be swayed by my opinions of the artists. Blac Chyna ended up being the only voice that I didn’t recognize. Once I read that it was her, the whole opening speech made sense.

The rest of the tracklist includes:

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Post image for Emily Ratajakowski Launches Lingerie Line

When that infamous video for Blurred Lines dropped, I had no idea who Emily Ratajowski was. If I’m being honest, when the story about her new lingerie line with Imorata crossed my timeline, I still had to do a bit of searching to figure out who she was and why people cared that she was designing lingerie. I also have to verify how to spell her last name every single time I type it, so I mean…I’m not so good at remembering most things Emily.

Last year, she teamed up with the company Imorata to design some of the hottest swimsuits of the season. Now she’s back again with a 40 piece lingerie collection that’s off the charts sexy.

In her Instagram post revealing the new colab she says:

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Post image for Fap Along With Harlot: Bluebird Films

Hello Peepz! How has your week been? Winter has been hit or miss this year in the Dirty Jerz, but I basically spent last week hiding out inside because of the below freezing temperatures. I’m thankful I had PornHub to keep me warm.

This week’s Fap Along is going to include five clips from the collection of Bluebird Films. I stumbled upon their page because I was looking for a video that involved sex in a store. Don’t judge, I was in the mood for some public smut. Once I started watching the first clip in the list I went down a rabbit hole of clips and I came out the other side with slippery, pruney fingers.

You Peepz ready to join in the fun? Let’s start it up exactly the same way I did, with a threesome covered in tasty treats

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And That’s Why Doctors Go To Medical School

February 15, 2019
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Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the award-winning porn site for women & couples. With over 18 years’ experience under her belt, writing about and for the adult entertainment industry, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced […]

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Sex Toy Brothels

February 14, 2019
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I started re-watching Battlestar Galactica a few weeks ago. I won’t go into specifics of why I like the show, because there are a bazillion reasons. To give you a small gist, humans created these robot slaves called Cylons. The robot slaves gained intelligence and created other robots that look like humans. Those human robots […]

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Lindsey Pelas is Hot

February 13, 2019
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I have a few different Instagram accounts. I try and keep at least one of them completely safe for work so that when I’m in public scrolling, I don’t offend anyone. I fucked up the other day and opened the wrong profile while I was on line at the grocery store. I stumbled on a […]

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Game Night Fantasy

February 10, 2019
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I can’t stop my brain from going full perv sometimes, Peepz. My wife and I were hanging out at a Pokemon Go raid and we started talking to one of the guys that was raiding with us. We ended up defeating the monster (Palkia, if anyone cares) and we started walking over to our car. […]

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Fap Along With Harlot: Mia Khalifa Forever

February 9, 2019
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Unique pornstars with tons of creativity will always get my views. Mia Khalifa was born in Lebanon and has been in the adult industry for quite some time. At this point, she’s doing her own thing and keeping her fans happy via her Patreon page and her personal website. I started creeping on her PornHub […]

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