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Viral social marketing campaigns are totally where it’s at. We live in a time where television commercials are basically obsolete because all it takes to get a little bit of traction under your brand is a witty post on twitter. A little bit of snark can sell a lot of burgers. Don’t believe me? Ask Wendy’s.

The latest tweet to catch storm was posted by Netflix on December 5th.

Peepz, the responses are fucking hilarious. Major brands that wouldn’t even come to mind at first got in on the action. I’ve compiled some of my favorites because everyone with a perverse bone in their body needs to get in on the joke.

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Post image for Sexting With a Side of Orgasms

I had a twitter conversation with someone a few days ago about penetrative sex. The man asked his followers if they could live without doing that particular sex act within their relationship. My answer was that I definitely could, and that I hadn’t had sex with a penis in over 6 years.

That’s when it hit me…

I haven’t had sex with a man in over 6 years. For a large portion of my adult life, I was chasing down cock like it was going out of style. Fucking was an art to me, and I was all about getting as much sexual attention as my body could handle. At that point, I was totally into it, but reflecting back I know that my focus was never on the orgasm, it was about the sex.

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Post image for Fap Along With Harlot:  Dirty Mechanics

My day job is sending me on a business trip tomorrow to the great state of Massachusetts. I don’t mind the traveling, it’s kind of exciting even though I miss my wife and our pets. My car has been acting up the last few weeks though, so rather than risk driving through the frozen tundra of New England with an iffy Fiat, I figured I’d take it in to see my mechanic to get an oil change and see what was up.

He didn’t see anything wrong with my car, but he was eyeing up my Pornhub sweatshirt. When he asked me about it, I told him that I write for Peeperz and that I’m always happy to wear company swag to do a bit of low key promoting while I’m out and about. We had a fairly decent conversation about what type of porn he likes, so this week, I’ve decided to pay homage to my friendly car repair guy with a Fap Along involving his profession.

Are you Peepz ready to have some fun? Grab your favorite jizz towel and let’s start fapping!

The mechanic in this first clip is only interested in fast cars, big tits and cold beers. I’m more of a whiskey fan myself, but I’m not going to judge. The curly haired redheaded brat doesn’t actually understand how much fixing a car costs, but she’s going to find out soon enough.

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Mystery Vibrator Arrival

by Alpha Harlot on December 7, 2019

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I got home from work last Wednesday night and there were a bunch of packages sitting on my doorstep. It’s December, so that’s not at all surprising. I’m on Amazon and Etsy more than I’m texting with my friends these days. It’s the season of giving and everyone is getting in on the action.

One box wasn’t from a company I ordered from though. I was familiar with it…I’ve been buying sex toys from SheVibe for years, but I definitely haven’t purchased anything for my own orgasmic pleasure since the summer. Sex toys randomly landing on my front porch during a particularly stressful week? Sometimes I have the best luck.

I opened up the box and the mystery became curiouser. A vibrator was inside, but not just any vibrator…it was a sex toy that I have been pining over for months but was never ready to pull the trigger on.

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Butthole Sunning

by Alpha Harlot on December 5, 2019

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I love crazy trends. Back in the 60’s, people stuffed themselves into telephone booths and Volkswagen Beetles. In the 80s people teased out their hair while wearing shoulder pads and playing with micro machines and saying, “Where’s the Beef?” The 90s had people doing that Arsenio Hall punch-the-air, bark-like-a dog thing in Co-Ed Naked, Big Johnson shirts.

The awesome/not so awesome thing about now is that the Internet exists, so now we have visual evidence of all the fads that catch on for blips of time.

Sunning your butthole has become one of those trends, Peepz. And I’m here for it, but probably not for the right reasons. I just think that showing off your naughty bits outdoors is sexy.

Instagram influencers/hippy hipsters are letting the sun touch their bums because they believe that the practice is filled with healing energy.

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My Tits in Your Mailbox

December 4, 2019
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I fucking love the holidays, Peepz. The whole world seems a bit happier and I’m always so grateful to celebrate another year coming to an end while another one is starting up fresh. This year has been a roller coaster of happiness, sadness and all around change…and I’m so excited to begin 2020 anew. Every […]

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Fap Along With Harlot: Vamping with Vixen

December 1, 2019
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Peepz! It’s Sunday! My weekend was filled with visiting relatives and entirely too many animals running around my home. Last night, my wife and I kicked everyone out and told them to get a hotel because it was way too much for our childless lives to handle. I don’t know that I appreciated how quiet […]

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You Can Only Date…Him

November 29, 2019
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Dating is rough, there’s no doubt about it. After a few rough dates in a row, you can feel like you’re completely wasting your time with strangers who aren’t in tune with what you’re looking for. A narcissistic man from Greenboro, North Carolina has fixed that problem, but only for himself. Aaron Smith created an […]

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Getting Stuffed on Thanksgiving

November 28, 2019
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Thanksgiving in the United States is a day that involves a fuck ton of cooking and a whole lot of gluttony. My wife and I have tricked our families into believing that we are celebrating with other people and all we’re doing is staying home. The glorious pseudo-celebration involves watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, […]

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Struggling to Finish

November 25, 2019
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Back in the day, I invited one of my Xtube friends from Georgia up to Jersey to spend the weekend fucking me. He was younger than I was by about 5 years and online, he was rip roaring and ready to go. When he ended up in my house though, he was having issues performing. […]

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