Sex and Lies: Science!

by Alpha Harlot on November 18, 2019

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Back before I met my wife, I was running all over New York and New Jersey to find partners to fuck. My main goal every morning was to have sex. How I accomplished that task was sometimes dishonest.

There are ways that you can convince men to have sex with you. It only took a few minutes of conversation with some very specific questions to figure out if I was interested in fucking the person I was talking to and how exactly I would make that happen. Sometimes, that how required me to lie in order to become who that person needed me to be in that moment.

When sex is laid out on a platter in front of you, sometimes dishonesty creeps into the picture. One of the reasons why I honestly feel like I ended up with my wife was because I never had to do that with her.

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Post image for Fap Along With Harlot: Bare Muff Munching

I’ve been talking to one of my snapchat/twitter friends for a little over a year. He hit me up last week asking for his own curated Fap Along with some girl-on-girl action. Since his preference is for no bush, I figured I’d incorporate that as well.

Are you Peepz ready to get down and dirty with me? I’ve pulled 5 clips from Pornhub and they’re waiting for us. Grab your favorite jizz towel and let’s start fapping!

You know what’s difficult? Standing up while you’re getting your pussy eaten. My knees buckle and it becomes hard for me to focus on both standing and enjoying the pleasure at the same time. This clip from Girls Gone Wild is an appetizer for the main event.

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Library Says No Fisting

by Alpha Harlot on November 16, 2019

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Little known Harlot fact (that you already know if you follow me on twitter): My wife and I both have a background in libraries. We read all the damn time and are completely fascinated in the inner workings of being public (and private) servants to knowledge. I got out of the field back in May and made the transition back into the for profit world, but we still spend many of our nights discussing library antics and policies.

One of her patrons tossed her an article last week about a library in Calgary that is having some issues. As part of their Femme Wave Festival, the Memorial Park Library invited two queer artists, Maddie Alexander and Morgan Sears-Williams, to exhibit their works. They called the collection, which has been shown in a handful of different cities, Femme4Femme.

When Morgan arrived at the library to set up the exhibition, they began talking to one of the librarians about the work. A poster called, “The Do’s and Don’ts of Fisting,” had the librarian turn on her heels to get the library director.

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Post image for Cornflakes Don’t Help You Masturbate

In today’s society, we don’t really consider masturbation that big of a deal. I mean sure, there’s unnecessary shame attached to the activity in some circles, but as far as sinning goes, masturbation is way better than things like murder.

Back in the days where Dr. John Harvey Kellogg (yes, that Kellogg) ruled the roost, things were different. The good doctor was super anti-sex.
He thought that sex clogged up your brain with thoughts that were impure and he only wanted the smarts up in there. He claimed to have never participated in any kind of masturbation in his life. The craziest thing to me was the fact that he never consummated his marriage.

Kellogg believed that all the tasty food that people eat was what contributed to carnal desires. The plainer your food, the less you want sex…probably because bland food sucks all of the life out of your soul.

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Post image for Don’t Fuck Olaf in Target? Ok, Deal.

Public masturbation is one of my favorite things to get away with. The thrill of sneaking my hand down into my panties to dittle with my clit while I’m at a stop light is what I live for. I’ve definitely gotten away with a whole lot of solo public sex acts in my day, but I’m always super careful because you can’t trust that everyone out in public is as perverted as we are.

A man in Pinellas, Florida was arrested the last week in October when he was snagged doing something dirty in the town’s Target. He went into the store in the middle of the afternoon and made a beeline for the toy section. The stuffies (not stiffies, mind you) happened to look rather appealing to the 20-year-old man, so he first opted for an Olaf doll.

In case you don’t obsessively watch Disney movies with your family like I am forced to, Olaf is a snowman in the movie Frozen. He’s goofy looking and I’m not exactly sure why he’d be appealing to a rogue masturbator, but when in Florida, do as the Floridians do!

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Suzanne Somers and Sex Shots

November 11, 2019
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I had to fact check something in this story a few times because I couldn’t believe that it was true. Suzanne Somers, who starred in everything from Infomercials and Threes Company, is 73-years-old. That shocked me, mostly because I remember how hot my dad was for her back in the day. They share a birthday, […]

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Fap Along With Harlot: Thick and Juicy

November 10, 2019
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Thick women spent a lot of the last few decades hiding in the shadows of porn in a fetish niche. As curvy ladies invade the mainstream media, folks are realizing that there is zero shame in anyone’s body shape. I love this renaissance and am all about spreading body positivity wherever I can. This week, […]

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Morning Sex or Night Sex?

November 8, 2019
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One of my ex’s never wanted to fuck at night. When the day was winding down, all he wanted to do was turn off the lights and go the fuck to sleep. I never minded fucking in the morning, but it was never my go to. Masturbation is a different story though. There is no […]

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T.I. Uses a Gyno to Creep Out the Internet

November 7, 2019
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The hip-hop artist T.I. is such a controlling father that he makes his 18-year-old daughter Deyjah Harris go to the gynecologist in order to make sure that her hymen is in tact. He spoke with Nazanin Mandi and Nadia Moham on their podcast, Ladies Like Us and revealed the disturbing tidbit about his life. As […]

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Vacation Sex Ethics

November 6, 2019
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Our friend’s sister has fallen in love with the Dominican Republic. She first vacationed there 4 years ago and has been making excuses to go back every six months or so. No one ever questioned why she kept traveling to the same place, other than the fact that she’s 22 with no responsibilities other than […]

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