Vibrator Life Savers

One of my friends makes corsets on the side. She’s been battling with boning and grommets for the past 20 years and has made quite a name for herself in the niche market. When COVID hit, everyone stopped spending hundreds of dollars on corsets so she had to reinvent herself.

What does everyone want in abundance right now?

Masks. Lots of masks. Masks to match every outfit. Masks to give cheeky advice to the outside world or make fun of the fact that we’re all covering our faces like bank robbers all the time.

Btw…when everything is said and done, what do you think about always wearing masks? Part of me is enjoying the fact that facial recognition software has to be getting tripped up by all the faces being covered. Damn the man, save the empire.

So many companies are repurposing their skills and materials for the better good of many right now. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, especially when I think about conservative slut shamers who are walking around with sex toys on their heads.

Don’t lie, it makes you giggle too.

Continue reading “Vibrator Life Savers”

Fap Along With Harlot: Madison Ivy

Happy Sunday, Peepz! I’m having a hard time keeping up with what day of the week it is but every time Sunday comes around, I get excited because we get to get off together. This week I wanted to take a deep dive into clips featuring Madison Ivy.

Madison Ivy is less than 5 feet tall. Her small stature means that she can be bounced around like a ragdoll when she’s getting some dick in. She was originally born in Germany, but moved stateside to Texas and then on to California. When you start watching her in action, you’ll realize exactly why I’ve been so obsessed with her content lately.

Are you Peepz ready? Grab your favorite jizz towel and let’s fap!

Madison strips down in front of a huge window and gets oiled up when she’s ready to play. Mick Blue takes his time warming up her pussy before he goes in for the gusto and lays some pipe.

Continue reading “Fap Along With Harlot: Madison Ivy”

Fantasy Friday: Bring Your Own Balls

The party had cleared out and my backyard was completely empty. I had rented a bounce house, an inflatable slide and an inflatable ball pit for the kids to play on, but now that everyone was gone and it was getting dark outside, I couldn’t help but have a little fun myself.

I took a peek around to make sure no one was able to see me and decided to strip down to my bra and panties to have a romp. As soon as my clothes hit the ground, the night air picked up speed and kissed my skin. Goosebumps were everywhere on my body. I shivered a bit, but then ran as fast as I could to the bounce house.

It’s always been a fantasy of mine to jump around naked in one of those things. Ever since I understood how sexy women looked on trampolines, it’s been one of my life’s missions to do some slow-mo jumping high in the air. I pushed the netted door to the side and started jumping with so much joy that I couldn’t help but laugh and scream a bit.

My neighbor’s house is close, so every time I jumped I was able to see that their kitchen lights were on. There’s no way that he could see me, at least I hoped he couldn’t.

Continue reading “Fantasy Friday: Bring Your Own Balls”

Burning Calories While Fucking

Quarantine is making it extremely hard for people to hook up if they aren’t living with their partners. I’m admittedly terrified of leaving my house right now, so I’m trying to spice up my self-love sessions as much as I possibly can. There’s nothing in the rule book saying that you can’t get creative when you’re masturbating, especially if it means that you’ll be burning off some extra calories while you do.

Burning calories while you’re getting in some personal pleasure time means that you can’t just lay on your back and let your arms do all the work. I’ve started putting a suction cup dildo on the side of my bathtub so that I can do squats and prepare my body for the lengthy fuck sessions that I’m going to be going through when things are safer outside. When I first started, I was only doing like 25 before my shaky legs were giving in to grinding. I’m up to 75 now, before taking a rest and then finishing up with another 25. The first day that I did a full hundred squats I was fucking amazing with myself. I think I was too busy concentrating on counting to actually have an orgasm, but hey…I got the activity and the dildo in, so whatever.

If you’re going to try and count sex as a means of daily exercise, you’re going to have to put a whole lot of effort into getting down with the get down.

Continue reading “Burning Calories While Fucking”

It’s Harlot’s 40th Birthday, Let’s Party

I’m officially a 40-year-0ld woman today. This is both surprising and exciting to me. Internally, I feel like I’ll always be in my early 30s, because that was a hell of a time. My knees and the fact that I take meds on the daily remind me that I’m getting older though.

It was strange to me when Dana DeArmond started calling herself a cougar and a MILF, but that’s exactly where I’m at. When Peepz hit me up on social networking sites, they say that they’ve been fans of mine for over a decade. That in and of itself is strange to me. Jerking off to some clips that I threw together an entire lifetime ago when I was slutting around the tri-state area on the hunt for adventures. All of that shit happened lifetimes ago, but I’m proud of who I’ve Evolved into.

How am I celebrating my 40th birthday sexually? I’m going to be working on stretching out my butthole so that when this whole quarantine is lifted, I can get my ass fucked proper by the new lady I’m talking to. I know it’s going to be a few months, so I’ll have plenty of time doing solo anal acrobatics before I have to even think about someone else rimming me.

Continue reading “It’s Harlot’s 40th Birthday, Let’s Party”

Fap Along With Harlot: Cock Sucking

Oral sex is a passion of mine. It took years for me to perfect my ever evolving skill to the point where I can say that, if I knelt down in front of a dick, the person who is attached to that dick would enjoy the oral satisfaction that I was about to lay on them. Cock sucking is a fucking art.

This week, I’ve decided to dive into the blowjob category of Pornhub and pull out a few of my favorite examples of dick sucking. These videos are sure to make you feel good, especially if you imagine yourself on the receiving end.

If you’re ready, I suggest that you grab your lube and a jizz rag to clean up after yourself…it’s about to get very messy wherever you are. Let’s Fap!

I’m going to start this Fap Along off with Alina Lopez. Her man surprises her by coming home early from work. She’s in the shower cleaning up, so she figures she may as well get down and dirty with him before she dries off. The POV blowjob is one of my favorite ways to watch this type of sex.

Continue reading “Fap Along With Harlot: Cock Sucking”

Naked Baking

The first tweet I saw when I powered up my laptop on Thursday morning was something that Alice Skary wrote about sourdough starter. In case you aren’t privy, They are a self-proclaimed pervert who loves to push the buttons of their subs and has a crazy creative streak when it comes to content creation. I’ve been slightly obsessed with Their Pornhub clips for a hot minute. I stan for real.

Here’s Their tweet that got me thinking about getting naked and filthy in my very own kitchen:

Oof, my Peepz. Yes to engorged cocks…yes to carbs…yes to mummification bondage? All of the things. It was an excellent way to start my day.

Before I start talking about nudity and getting frisky in the kitchen, here is one of Their Pornhub teasers to further explain why you should stop what you’re doing and follow Them everywhere. I’m not joking, go do it.

Continue reading “Naked Baking”

Fantasy Friday: Water Balloon Fight!

The Jersey heat is alarming even though it’s early in the season. I’m hanging out in my backyard with some of my girls, barbecuing some meat and veggies, just having a good time. The only issue with this beautiful afternoon is the fact that I’m hot and there is no way to cool off.

“I want to like, Slip and Slide or run through a sprinkler or something,” someone says.

I fan myself with an oven mitt, flip the burgers and remember that I have a stash of water balloons left over from a birthday party last year. Those small, rubber balls of happiness just may be the answer to all of my problems. There are several sexy women in my backyard and getting them into wet T-shirts as quickly as possible is probably the best idea that I’ve had in years.

“Let’s get soaked, ladies!” I announce as I head towards the hose to start filling them up.

Continue reading “Fantasy Friday: Water Balloon Fight!”

To Top or to Bottom

As far as sex goes, I’m what people call a Switch. I can top or bottom, which doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with penetration, but has tons to do with control. When I meet a new lover for the first time, finding that sweet spot of a sexual dynamic can be hard sometimes.

Towards the end of the relationship with my ex and I, one of the issues we kept coming up with is that we both wanted to bottom. Neither one of us wanted to take control of the sexual situation because it felt awkward. This lead to both of us being disappointed with sex in the long run. The communication that we had spent so many years working on flew right out the window and we became the type of couple that we always talked shit about; a couple that couldn’t be bothered to communicate their desires to each other.

With the new woman that I’m talking to, she’s a top through and through. She is 100% a giver and a sexual explorer who is looking to please her partners in any way her imagination can come up with. The problem that I am having with that is that I enjoy giving pleasure as much as I enjoy getting it. I don’t mind at all if I can’t make her cum, but I do want to participate in giving her pleasure. While my tongue is certainly no Hitachi, it can still make you feel pretty fucking good.

Continue reading “To Top or to Bottom”

Florida Sheriff Swings

One of these days, we’ll live in a world where people are totally realistic about the fact that we are all sexual beings who have the capacity to be kinky. It bugs me out so much that so many of my D/s friends have to be so careful about what they post Online for fear of their careers being ruined. What do my bedroom antics and my day job have to do with each other? Absolutely nothing.

A Florida Sheriff is finding out what happens when puritanical America finds out that you like to do dirty, filthy things to people in your bedroom. Pictures of Broward County Sheriff Gregory Tony at a few swingers parties have surfaced. Currently, Tony is neither confirming nor denying that he and his wife are the people in the images.

Know what I think?

Who cares if this guy fucks multiple women at a party when he’s off duty? Is his ability to keep his dick rock solid while he’s running a train on three hot blondes in Miami really a direct correlation to the way that he handles business when he’s on the clock? Of course it’s not. The moral compass of the world right now has bigger fish to fry then this Sheriff who may or may not enjoy the company of women other than his wife.

Continue reading “Florida Sheriff Swings”