Post image for Billionaire Will Fly Girlfriend To The Moon

Japanese billionaire Yusaku Maezawa is going to be the first private passenger to fly around the moon. SpaceX has been on the hunt for their first passenger for a few years now, but they won’t be sending Yusaku up alone. The money man only wants to fly around the moon with the woman he loves.

The hitch in that plan is that he hasn’t found his person yet…enter Reality Television, because of course. How else is a billionaire with all of the romantic resources at the tips of his fingers supposed to find true love?

Honestly, this comes across as a little bit creepy to me.

“Want to fly to the moon? Oh, OK…great. You’ve got to make a fool of yourself on TV first…then go through all the necessary Space Camp training…as long as they don’t find any defects in your physical person, and I don’t find any defects in your mental or emotional person, you can go to the moon. I swear.”

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Post image for Do Men Cheat More Than Women?

I know I’ve talked about this before, but my wife and I are polyamorous. She’s actively looking for other women to date, and the Lex app that I spoke about a few weeks ago is really helping her along on her adventure. The issue that she’s running into is with the men that the women she’s dating are in relationships with.

I totally understand that our relationship is special. She can talk to me about making out in the back seat of her car with another woman and I don’t have an issue with it. Does it make me feel jealous? Sure, sometimes it does…but I tell her about those feelings too and it helps us work through them.

She’s really into this one woman right now, but that chick’s boyfriend is being a Debbie Downer about the fact that the two of them are having a good time. He gives his girl shit if she comes home happy, but in the same breath says that it’s cool that they date other people. I have some theories about why this keeps happening, even in my previous relationships.

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Post image for Her Vagina Smells Like a Goopy Candle

When you’re a rich white lady who has no cares in the world, you can start making shit up and people sheep will follow you everywhere. Not only that, but they will start throwing money at you with senseless abandon. Such is the case with Gwyneth Paltrow and her lifestyle company, Goop.

When she was collaborating with fragrance company Heretic to make a candle, she got excited about one of the scents saying that it smells like her vagina. Of course they jumped on the tag line and produced it quick and in a hurry.

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Post image for Fap Along With Harlot: Best Actress

The AVNs are coming up, Peepz! It’s the most wonderful time of the year, where all the biggest names in the industry gather together in Las Vegas to hang out, shoot content and throw one an even better, sexier party than they did last year.

This year, the AVN Awards Show is on January 25. The hype is starting to build up on social media and everyone is psyched to get together. I figured that this week and next, I’d pull together some of the best of the best…Literally the creamiest of the crop…so that we can have some fun together and fap to some of the hottest babes that have ever graced Pornhub.

Are you ready? Let’s Fap!

Last year, the AVN for Best Actress went to Eliza Jane for the movie Anne: A Taboo Parody. The Los Angeles native grew up in the footsteps of the adult industry. She’s a beautiful blonde who comes across as coy and shy at first, but when it comes down to fucking, she’s all business. Here she is in a Twisty’s clip manning the bar and manhandling the pussy.

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Post image for Fish Bang and Make a Totally Different Fish

I’ve kept fish as pets for most of my life. My mom bought me a fairly large aquarium when I was four and I’ve been obsessed every since. Every night, I fall asleep to the sound of the filter running in the tank. It’s probably my favorite way to relax, other than masturbation, of course.

My wife and I pride ourselves on our fish names. First we had Lionel Fishie, then Leonard Fishburn and now we have Greg Louganis. Lionel and Greg were both betas, but Leonard was a massive African Cichlid that we inherited from our neighbors when they moved. He was a mean mother fucker, who prowled around his 55 gallon tank waiting for someone to come close. When you breezed past, he would smash his face up against the glass and chomp like he was a piranha.

Cichlids are interesting creatures and scientists have discovered something interesting about their sex lives.

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Nudes for Donations

January 7, 2020
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Australia is burning, Peepz. It’s a serious situation and a metric fuck ton of animals and people are being displaced. An innovative model that goes by the name The Naked Philanthropist on twitter, has decided to take matters into her own hands. On January 3rd she told the world that she would send one nude […]

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Fap Along With Harlot: Sexy Star Wars

January 5, 2020
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Porn parodies can be fucking hilarious. While it isn’t necessarily my go-to genre for solo masturbation time, my wife will watch a few a month for their entertainment value. Re-inventing the stories that Hollywood feeds us into adult films is an art, and the greatest form of fanfic, IMO. There’s a battle in my house […]

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Kelly Clarkson Bangs Daily (and you should too)

January 2, 2020
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Every morning when my wife’s alarm clock goes off, she gets up immediately and starts her morning routine. I stretch a bit and then reach for my vibrator because there is literally no better way to start my day than an orgasm. Night time is the right time for my babe and I to bang […]

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Don’t Let Your Dick Rot Off

January 1, 2020
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New Year, new you, my Peepz! I feel like 2019 was a year of change and growth in my world. I lost some important pillars in my life, I started a few new adventures…and I partially left my own happiness at the wayside so that I could focus on getting my money straight. Maybe I […]

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2019 and the Best Sex Ever

December 31, 2019
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My 2019 was filled with ups and downs. I lost two of the most important people that have ever existed in my life, two weeks later I dramatically changed my career path and accepted a new fancy business job, I bought my very first house and I learned once again that not every friendship is […]

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