Post image for Things I’m Here For: Ball Barbers

I don’t care that the video linked below is a Mockumentary, Peepz. Ball Barbers should totally be a thing. For so many years, I shaved my pussy or got it waxed to make sure that all my holes were accessible and hair free for whatever dude I happened to be fucking that weekend.

Now though? I keep my pussy trimmed or not trimmed the way that I want to because I realized that no one’s person preference of body hair should supersede my own. That means that if you want to shave your shit, then shave it…if you want to let it grow out and flow naturally, that’s cool too. So is every pubic hairstyle in between.

Enter the Ball Barbers.

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Sexual Safe Words

by Alpha Harlot on June 17, 2019

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My wife and I tend to immerse ourselves in the kink community during the summer months. There is a convention in New Jersey that happens every July. It’s a safe space for us to experiment and let loose with our fantasies. While we’re anticipating the event, one of the things that keeps coming up in conversation with our friends is the consent.

I get that consent is becoming a buzz word. More than one jerk has rolled their eyes at me when I bring the topic up. That eye roll means that they aren’t going to get the opportunity to come anywhere near my wife or I btw AND that they are probably going to get kicked the fuck out of whatever kink event they are attending for being unsafe…so don’t be that person.

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Post image for Fap Along With Harlot: Summer Fun

Pool sex will forever be my favorite way to fuck. I love the way that water feels on my skin and feeling completely weightless. Water makes you slow sex down. You can’t just power thrust your way to an orgasm if you’re weightless.

I got to take my first dip of the summer last weekend and that got me thinking about all the awesome ways to bang when school is out and the weather gets hot.

Are you Peepz ready to cum along with me? Grab your favorite jizz towel and let’s fap!

Alexis Texas is doing her best to distract Manuel Ferrera in this first clip. He’s only interested in spending his time playing video games, but she has other things on her mind. She tries her hardest to distract him while he’s doing everything but noticing her, so she takes matters into her own hands and vibrates her pussy to orgasm. That definitely got his attention so he plows through her pussy and paints her face with jizz.

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Post image for Should I Masturbate at Work?

I got a new job, my Peepz. It’s a fancy day job that involves me wearing heels and stockings all the time. I tell people what to do, they jump to do it. It’s basically my dream job.

I’ve been working in my new digs for just under a month now and I’m starting to get used to being a real boss. Know what’s neat about being a big boss? They give you the keys to the kingdom and everyone is afraid to ask questions about how you are spending your time while you’re in the office. I can’t decide if this should be the type of job where I continue to make my masturbatory fantasies come true or if I should let go of my pseudo amateur lifestyle and strictly do my work when I’m on the clock.

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Post image for Let’s Celebrate National Sex Day All Year Long

June 9th is National Sex Day because it’s 6/9. That is super funny to me because I am a pervert. Little known Harlot fact? I have a tattoo of a pizza pie that is missing a slice on the back of my leg. My wife has the missing slice tattooed on her arm. On the pizza are 6 pieces of pepperoni and 9 mushrooms…because 69 is our magic number.

When we first met on OkCupid, we had a 69% match and then number honestly pops up for us a few times a week. What was the total at the coffee shop? Why, $3.69 of course. It happens all the damn time. So often, in fact, that our friends will group text us when they run into the number too.

It’s hilarious and we don’t care if you think we act like juveniles when we say, “SIXTY NINE!” in louder than average voices. If you take issue with us, you should get over it. We’re “young” and in love.

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Dating Behind Bars

June 10, 2019
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I’m intrigued by shows about prison life. Part of me is ultra concerned about the fact that the prison system in the United States is hella fucked up, but part of me is also entertained by the characters that these shows introduce us to. We were watching that show Jailbirds on Netflix the other day […]

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Fap Along With Harlot: Blondes Banging

June 9, 2019
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Whenever the sun starts shining, my hair responds by getting lighter. In my 20s, I would spray that Sun-In and lemon juice all over my head crossing my fingers that it would turn blonde. Spoiler alert, it never did. I don’t know if I’d look good as a blonde anyway. I had a dream last […]

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Where Did Harlot Cum: Sexting on Snap

June 4, 2019
Thumbnail image for Where Did Harlot Cum: Sexting on Snap

So there’s this guy that my wife knows. He’s in her line of work and is doing big things. Dropping his name in certain circles will lead to tons of conversation about the moves that he’s making and how he’s shaking the world up. He’s honestly a pretty cool guy and if I was still […]

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Sexual Adventures Later in Life

June 2, 2019
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I started learning about BDSM when I was 18. By the time I was 19, I was meeting strangers on the Internet for sex. While I’ve always had an “all or nothing,” philosophy about most of my interests, it has always worried me that I would learn “too much,” about sex too soon in my […]

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Fap Along with Harlot: That Looks Like Fun

June 1, 2019
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My birthday weekend was pretty amazing. I spent a ton of time outside hanging in the sunshine with my friends doing exactly what I wanted to do at whatever moment it happened to be. When it came time to sit down and write my Fap Along, I figured that I would continue the trend. I […]

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