Post image for Penis Enlargement Surgery Death (Not the Dick’s Fault)

Yikes Peepz! That’s a hell of a story title, no? When I was researching this story, it seemed to me like every news outlet that covered it was trying to outdo the last. Things like, “Billionaire Tycoon Wants a Huge Penis, Gets Death Instead,” and “Money Bags Goes Under the Knife for Sexual Prowess,” were flooding my search results.

I want to take a different angle to this story though and ask why someone who had all the money that he could ever ask for would feel lackluster enough about his person to have surgery to get a new cock. Especially since he didn’t actually die from the surgery itself. Click-bait headlines had my trigger finger happy, but it was all for naught.

Ehud Arye Laniado was a 65-year-old diamond trader. He died of a heart attack while he was having surgery to enhance his dick, but he didn’t die from the actual surgery. The causes of death all point to the anesthesia that he was under while the surgery was happening.

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Post image for Fap Along With Harlot: Blowjob Bonanza

The security guards on campus were all huddled up in the middle of the hallway yesterday. One of the guys tilted up his chin to say hello to me so I walked over with my coffee to say good morning. That was apparently the wrong move because I walked into a conversation about the one guy’s wife not sucking his dick.

Everyone got very embarrassed and started blushing. I asked about an event that was happening over the weekend to cover everyone’s tracks. I could give a fuck if this guy was getting his dick sucked or not.

Oral sex is totally one’s prerogative. Some people aren’t that into it, some people (like me) obsess over the feeling of being able to please my partner with just my mouth. Because of the security guard convo I walked into, I put together a Fap Along list of blow job clips for you to enjoy this week.

You ready? Lube up your nether regions and let’s get down to business.

Mia Malkova is pretty amazing. She’s a treat to watch, no matter the sexual position. In this Twisty’s clip, she sucks off a short, thick cock until he’s ready to pound her pussy.

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Post image for I’ll Take Quality Over Quantity, Any Day

Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the award-winning porn site for women & couples. With over 18 years’ experience under her belt, writing about and for the adult entertainment industry, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

If you’ve read many of my past posts, then you know my husband serves as a recurring source of comic relief in this space. If you were to take all my jabs at the man seriously, you’d conclude he’s self-absorbed, lazy as making canned soup for lunch, not too bright, completely clueless when it comes to reading his wife’s mood and all sorts of other negative things. But, truth be told, he’s not that lazy.

Just to be clear, all those insults I toss his way are written in jest. If I truly held him in such low regard, I’d have filed for divorce long – instead of filing yesterday. (Kidding again!)

To the contrary of what my endless quips about my husband might lead you to believe, our marriage is quite strong. Hell, with the amount of shit we give each other literally every day, it has to be strong, or one of us would have stabbed the other with a salad fork by now.

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Post image for Protect Yourself: STI’s on the Rise

You get to make your own decisions about your life in between the sheets. Taking responsibility for your actions is all par for the course though. Safer sex practices can save your life and save you so many headaches in the long run.

Use condoms, my Peepz. You can make up all the excuses you’d like. I’m not judging anyone for how they bang. Having sex with me has always required a condom at the bare minimum. My wife and were talking last night about the fact that out of all of my friends from back in the day, I’m the only one who never caught anything, including a pregnancy. Like I said, no judgement. If you get something, go to your doctor and get yourself sorted out. I would rather just avoid the transmission of STDs as best I can on my end.

Why are diseases like chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis on the rise?

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says it has a lot to do with the fact that a lot more people are using drugs, like methamphetamines or heroin when they are having unprotected fuck sessions with multiple people.

Blanket statement that drugs are bad? I feel like I need to through that in there. Drugs fuck up your life and should be avoided at all costs.

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Self on Strap-On Sex

by Alpha Harlot on March 13, 2019

Post image for Self on Strap-On Sex

I’ve recently reconnected with one of my friends from college. He’s a great guy who always turned down my (extremely needy and unwarranted) sexual advances. I’m pretty sure that’s why we stopped talking in the first place. Young Harlot had a hard time understanding why everyone in the world didn’t want to have sex with her.

Anyway.

One of the things that he and I have been talking about is pegging. He’s been cohabitating with his (extremely sexy) girlfriend for a few months. They’re always interested in going on sexual adventures together. She is super interested in strapping up and fucking his butt. Never one to shy away from an experience, he said he was down. When they got into it though, he was having trouble completely opening up his body and accepting the whole dildo.

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Is Keto Crotch a Thing?

March 12, 2019
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What you put into your body makes a difference as to what comes out of your body. That old wives tale about eating pineapple to make your spunk sweeter is absolutely founded in truth. If you eat lots of sugary goodness, your cum will change it’s taste. I can go on for hours about the […]

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Thankfully, I Have Unlimited Data

March 11, 2019
Thumbnail image for Thankfully, I Have Unlimited Data

Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the award-winning porn site for women & couples. With over 18 years’ experience under her belt, writing about and for the adult entertainment industry, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced […]

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Fap Along With Harlot: Lick Bang

March 9, 2019
Thumbnail image for Fap Along With Harlot: Lick Bang

I’ve been daydreaming about eating pussy a lot lately. It’s not that I don’t get enough time in between my wife’s legs, it’s just that I’ve got this intense orgy fantasy about having a dozen women splayed out in front of me so that I can satisfy them orally. Instead of prowling around on the […]

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How to Get Banned by Tinder

March 7, 2019
Thumbnail image for How to Get Banned by Tinder

I’ve been banned from all sorts of dating sites. Back when I was actively on the market, lots of websites had an issue with the fact that I used “AlphaHarlot” as a handle…mostly because a quick search of that name pulls up a massive amount of amateur porn. I mean…a hobby is a hobby, right? […]

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Hooking Up on Cruise Ships

March 6, 2019
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How do you Peepz feel about going on cruises? My boss if fucking obsessed and goes on like two a year. I’ve never been on a boat that big before and I’ll probably keep it that way, mostly because I’m not too crazy about the ocean or being stuck in the middle of it. I […]

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