America’s First Sex Manual…From 1776!

by FIONA WILDE on August 19, 2013

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Fiona Wilde is a staff writer and commentator for sssh.com and a published author of erotic novels for Blushing Books. Fiona comes from a background as a journalist for a large daily newspaper, but moved into erotica after mainstream media could not pay enough to keep her an honest woman. Her columns can be found on sssh.com and her novels are widely available on Amazon.com.

1776 was a big year. American won the War for Independence, paving the way for McDonald’s and mega-malls. It was also the year our new nation got its very first sex manual.

If one were to judge a budding nation’s future success by the quality of its sex manual, then in retrospect the odds would not have been in America’s favor. Because Aristotle’s Complete Master-Piece In Three Parts; Displaying the Secrets of Nature in the Generation of Man is just as crazy a book so full of what-the-fuck it’s a wonder how anyone got busy after reading it.

The book mixes some curious moralizing (babies born out of wedlock will be freaks covered in hair) with attempts to explain that Mystery That Is The Clitoris:

 “The organ of generation in man, nature has placed obvious to the sight, and it is called the Yard, and because hanging without the belly, is called the Penis a Pendendo…

The next thing is the Clytoris, which is a sinewy and hard part of the womb, replete with spongy and black matter wihin, in the same manner as the side ligaments of the yard: and indeed resembles it in form, suffers erection and falling in the same manner, and it both stirs up lust, and gives delight in copulation.

For without this, the fair sex neither desire mutual embraces, nor have pleasure in them. nor conceive by them: and according to the greatness or smallness of this part, they are more or less fond of men’s embraces; so that it may properly be stiled the seat of lust.”

You have to hand it to the Colonials. Despite the obvious flaws in the above text, they at least recognized that even a nice Puritan girl appreciates a guy who can fynd her “clyt”.

But the book emphasized that a man had no business fynding the clyt unless he was married to said woman. America’s first sex manual was awfully hung up on marriage and warned of dire consequences for any fuckery outside of holy matrimony.

Those consequences included “diseases of the body” and “a world filled with confusion and debauchery.” Oh, and did we mention it would damn your soul to eternal ruin? Well, that too. Oh, and there was to be no sexual fantasizing, either, because pondering naughty mental images would cause your babies to be monsters or – *gasp*  -black!

And at this point I’m thinking that this book has something to offend just about everyone.

But at the time who was anyone to argue with author William Salmon who was not only smart enough to be a “Professor of Physik,” but also smart enough to drop the name of Aristotle in his title although the book has nothing to do with Aristotle and as far as I know Aristotle was rumored to be gay and therefore not one bit interested in finding the clyt anyway.

Of course, given the right turn our country has taken politically, it wouldn’t surprise me if Aristotle’s Complete Master-Piece In Three Parts; Difplaying the Secrets of Nature in the Generation of Man doesn’t make an appearance in what’s left of high school sex-ed classrooms. When you think about it, maybe we’ve not progressed as far as we thought.

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Fiona Wilde is a Sssh.com columnist and Sssh will be on Peeperz for fun times again in the near future, meanwhile why not check us out:

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